Cyberbullying Tips
The facts: 43% of teens have been victims
- Cyberbullying begins as early as the 2nd grade for some children
- 53% of teens admit sending a hurtful message
- Most victims know the person bothering them
- Only 10% of bullying victims tell their parents
See resources for this topic
Download a parent handoutSee related research
Send this page to a friend
Sign up for our newsletter
Related articles
Tech Talk: Beyond Internet SafetyTalking About "Sexting"
Workshop: Raising Kids in a Digital World (Middle and High School)
Cyberbullying Discussion Guide
Rules of the Road for Parents in a Digital Age
Advice and Answers
Hurting someone with a simple click.
A second at the keypad can cause long-lasting damage. As more and more kids discover new ways to share information, they have unfortunately found more and more ways to harm each other. Just as nasty comments in a playground can cause a lot of pain, cyberbullying can really hurt our kids.What is cyberbullying?
It happens when kids use their phones or the Internet to create and send harassing or humiliating messages and images. Nasty comments, lies, and embarrassing photos, videos, and polls can be spread widely through instant messaging (IM) or phone texting, and by posts on social networking sites. It can happen anytime – at school or home – and can involve large groups of kids. The combination of the boldness created by being anonymous and the desire to be seen as “cool” can cause a kid who normally wouldn’t say anything mean face-to-face to show off for other kids.Why it matters
Nothing crushes kids’ self-confidence faster than humiliation. And just imagine a public humiliation sent instantly to everyone they know. Sadly, hurtful informa¬tion posted on the Internet is extremely difficult to prevent or remove, and millions of people can see it. Most cyberbullying happens when adults aren’t around, so parents and teachers often see only the depression or anxiety that results from being hurt or bullied. This emotional damage can last a lifetime.Parent tips for all kids
- Give them a code of conduct. Tell them that if they wouldn’t say something to someone’s face, they shouldn’t text it, IM it, or post it.
- Ask your kids if they know someone who has been cyberbullied. Sometimes they will open up about others’ pain before admitting their own.
Parent tips for elementary school kids
- Keep online socializing to a minimum. Let them use sites like Webkinz or Club Penguin where chat is pre-scripted or pre-screened.
- Explain the basics of correct cyber behavior. Tell your kids that things like lying, telling secrets, and being mean still hurt in cyberspace.
- Tell kids not to share passwords with their friends.
Parent tips for middle school kids
- Monitor their use. See what they’re posting, check their mobile messages.
- Tell your kids what to do if they’re harassed. They shouldn’t respond or retaliate, they should block bullies immediately, and they should tell you or an adult they trust. They shouldn’t delete the messages because in persistent cases, the content should be reported to a cell or Internet Service Provider.
- If your kid is doing the bullying, establish strict consequences and stick to them. That goes for mean or sexual comments about teachers, friends, and relatives.
- Remind them that all private information can be made public. Posts on friends’ walls, private IMs, intimate photos, little in-jokes can all be cut, pasted, and sent around. If they don’t want the world to see it, they better not post or send it.
- Don’t start what you don’t want to finish. Game chat can get ugly fast. Make sure your kids are respectful because hurtful retaliation happens all the time.
Parent tips for high school kids
- Tell kids to think before they reveal. At this age, kids experiment with all sorts of activities, many of which should not be made public. Remind your teens that anything they post can be misused by someone else.
- Remind them they aren’t too old to ask for your help. There are things some kids can handle on their own, but sometimes, they just need help. Coming to their parents isn’t baby-ish, it’s safe.
I've lectured thousands of teens, I would readily support the practical nature of these tips.
I would add heroes stand up to bullies. Teach your kids to defend the oppressed.
Let me conclude with a final word from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.,
“In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
mysilentscream.com
I just get so angered by this when I hear about people who are actually going on to internet and doing this, I feel sorry for the people that have to put up with these timewasters.
The best thing to do is to just ignore it and if the harrasment continues you should tell someone.
lol this video stinks and i thought it was funny when someone said where do u shop at? and then the other girl said uh goodwill? what is that? but still yeah u should make sure your kids dont feel depressed or anything beacause a lot of ppl in this world commit suicide
I know that its a habit for teens and up to harrass, bully, or swear on the computer. MANY chat web sites should have monitors, its best to just not bother with internet chatting. Email chat {like gmail} is ok cuz u know that person that your chatting with. {there on your contact list}.
I was cyber bullied once it was on Animal crossing: Wild World for the nintendo DS I was on a site for all 3 animal crossing games and someone put up a contest for dress up (I didn't know it was a fraud) But uh anyway I went to the contest and the host ask to see my rainbow feather real quick to try it on he had some other of his friends with him they were not contestents in the contest bt anyway he stole it and wasn't giving it back so I went and got my Dad and he started swearing at the people who stole it (wich the swears got blanked out) and I was mad cause they kicked us out as you know I was REALLY mad (beacause it was a gift from a friend) and I never got it back I removed that guy from the friends list and I went to the computer and reported the fake contest to a modater and they didn't bother to ban the guy that stole it they said there nt responsible for online actions BUT THE CONTEST WAS ON THEIR SITE IT WAS A FRAUD AND IN RESULT OF THAT FRUAD TO STEAL A VALUBLE ITEM I GOT SOMETHING STOLEN! got the point good glad I got that off my chest...ayway thanks for reading!
That's a very valid point, and I agree with you 100%. It should be left up to the parents to remedy the situation, not the police.
Kids need to learn that cyberbulling is going to happen no matter what, and the best thing to do when it happens is to get over it, and go on in life. If your child is sensitive enought to be hurt by a bad word over the internet, you really need to talk to him and strengthen him up. A law that would fine or put people in jail for saying something like "f__k you" to someone else is stupid, because it happens all the time in schools. Plus, who would you rather want filling up jail, people that were just letting out frustration over the internet or people who would actually physically harm and possibly abuse others?
my 11 year old has been cyberbulled but i helped her in that time and now she is a happy 12 year old
And sometimes, I cyberbully as well to let my feelings out, but I usually apologize. And school bulling for me (as for elementary) was like teachers abusing and mocking you. I was also beaten up in grade 5 twice in the same day by a classmate of mine, and he was NOT your typical bully who would just tease-and-go (I wish not to go further on this). One guy in my middle school's autism program calls me gay.
I am frequently cyberbullied, and it's far worse than just "dued yur vidoe suks!!!!!!1!!LOL." People online have insulted, rumored about, and made sexual references to me. The worst part is that it's a website I love and there are some really cool people on it. How do I deal with it? I just keep on going.
honestly... in high school/middle school. people are going to make fun of you whether its public, private or online.
you have to ignore it. it happens to EVERYONE at some point.
Cyber bullying can be far more serious than "dued yur vidoe suks!!!!!!1!!LOL."
In fact, there are even examples in the news of children as young as 13 years old committing suicide because of the comments left on their social networking pages (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Story?id=3882520). Bottom line: Know what your children are doing online. Your child could be the bully.
Also, please visit my group's blog: http://www.internetsafetychatham.blogspot.com/
It is a group project from Chatham University in Pittsburgh, PA.
Yes, I know a child who felt she had no support from parents, school or friends and she committed suicide.