Harry Potter and the Teachable Moment

Albus Dumbledore, the beloved wizard and protector of Harry Potter and Hogwarts, is gay, author J.K. Rowling revealed at an Oct. 19 question-and-answer session held in New York\'s Carnegie Hall.

For many fans, this news will be no more than an interesting footnote. But for families with younger devotees, this revelation could prompt a discussion about what being homosexual means. And for older kids, Dumbledore\'s sexuality provides an opportunity to examine all the different ways that homosexuals are portrayed in the media.

Talking to Your Kids About Homosexuality

When having the "where do babies come from?" discussion, parents rarely discuss homosexuality, choosing to wait until kids are a little older to tackle some of the thornier questions. But by then, kids will have seen many depictions of homosexuals through the media they watch (or through imitations on the schoolyard playground). While some openly gay characters -- such as Will and Jack on TV\'s Will & Grace, or Marge Simpson\'s sister, Patty, on The Simpsons -- are portrayed as more than stereotypes, some of what kids will pick up on are the more outrageous affectations seen in movies like Blades of Glory or in episodes of South Park. No matter what your family\'s thoughts are about homosexuality, it\'s very important that kids learn about it from you, not from cartoons or playground pantomimes.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children between the ages of 8 and 9 understand that people who love each other can have sexual relationships. (It\'s premature to have this talk with children younger than 7, as they won\'t really understand.) As kids become curious about heterosexual love, they also might ask questions about homosexual love. The AAP suggests that if kids do bring this up, then parents should take this opportunity to discuss their family\'s thoughts about homosexuality. They also suggest that parents explain that "liking or loving someone does not depend on the person\'s gender and is different from liking someone sexually."

Here are a few suggestions for talking with kids 8-10:

1. Start by asking your kids whether they know what being homosexual or gay means.
2. Use simple language and explain that sometimes men fall in love with men, or women with women.
3. Your children may know kids who have same-sex parents. You can take this opportunity to point out this doesn\'t affect how they love their children or how they do their jobs.
4. If your kids have read Harry Potter or seen the movies, you can point out to them that nothing in Dumbledore\'s behavior gave any clue about whether or not he was gay. Rowling purposely didn\'t reveal that information until after people had formed their opinions of him. You can explain to your younger kids that Rowling clearly doesn\'t believe that Dumbledore\'s being gay affects the plot or the other characters in the story.

For kids 11 and older, here are a few other conversation starters:

1. Ask your kids whether they can think of books, TV shows, or movies with homosexual characters. Do they think that the characters\' sexuality is accurately portrayed? Played for laughs? Used to make a moral point?
2. Many kids use the expression, "That\'s so gay." Ask your kids what that means to them.
3. If your kids are Potter fans, ask them whether learning that Dumbledore is gay changes their feelings about him -- or the books or movies. If not, why not? If so, how?
4. Why do your kids think that Rowling decided to "out" Dumbledore after the final book?