I read reviews for the Twilight saga before I ever read the books. To be honest, I was more bothered by the passion portrayed in Twilight than by the honeymoon description in Breaking Dawn. Being so wrapped up in a boy isn't healthy. I have fewer problems when the whole series is considered. Edward isn't after Bella the way some boys would be. HE wants to wait for marriage and Bella ultimately agrees. Bella doesn't "want" to be the girl who marries right after high school. Her circumstances sort of dictate it, though. Edward is unnaturally attentive (creepily so, in Twilight) but considering he's both a vampire and can usually know a person's thoughts it sort of makes sense. Which somehow makes it less disturbing. He does try to control her but it is to keep her safe and he does eventually back off some.
I opted to let my 11 year old read it because A) many girls she knows have and B) she can check it out at school, keep it in her backpack and I'd never know. This way, I'm aware of it and we can talk about it. I've stressed the relationships in the book between the other characters--not just Bella and Edward. There's lots of different kinds of love in the books. Alice loves her "brother" Edward, Jasper AND Bella, Edward's parents love him. Bella loves her parents. Those relationships are worth noting. The idea of waiting to have sex until after marriage and with someone you love and plan to stay with is an idea worth promoting. Bella may be helpless but she is brave and at least tries to take control. I actually appreciate that in the end it's Bella's talent that saves them all. For teen girls that's a good message--even though most girls do want to be cared for the way Edward cares for Bella. The story itself is compelling if not necessarily a classic. Overall this book is one I decided she could read now. Harry Potter it's not, but it is a good story. Stephenie Meyer has a gift for telling a story.