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If I Stay (by Gayle Forman)

common sense media says

Gripping, unsentimental look at teen in coma.


parents & educators say
  • 67% say language is an issue
  • 33% say sexual content is an issue

What parents need to know

Parents need to know that this is a book for teens about a girl who loses her family in a car accident -- and is now in a coma. In addition to plenty of swearing and sexual material (including a steamy scene of mutual masturbation), it deals with the aftermath of the gruesome accident as Mia decides if she wants to live or die. This book can spark discussions about a range of topics, including unusual narrators to more intense talks about what they would do in Mia's place. Readers who enjoyed this book may want to check out its sequel, Where She Went.

Educational value: Can spark discussions about a range of topics, including unusual narrators to more intense talks about what they would do in Mia's place. Readers who enjoyed this book may want to check out its sequel, Where She Went.
Positive messages: The main character struggles with whether to live or die. Readers will have to think about Mia's choice: What would you
do in her place? It's heavy material, but in an interview with Amazon, the author said, "it’s really about the power of love -- of family, friends, music -- and therefore it ultimately affirms life."
Positive role models: Through Mia's disembodied thoughts and flashbacks we get to know not
only her, but also her quirky, semi-punk parents, her sweetly energetic
brother, her friends, and especially her boyfriend, Adam -- and all of
them are appealing characters.
Violence: A gruesome car accident, graphically described ("gray chunks of what looks like cauliflower," etc.). Several characters are killed, and Mia has horrific injuries. Two girls have a fight.
Sex: It's implied that Mia and her boyfriend have had sex, and stated that he has in the past, a brief discussion of virginity, mentions of one night stands, lesbians, and having unprotected sex, which leads to pregnancy. In one very sexy scene, Mia and her boyfriend take turns playing each other like a musical instrument, leading both to climax.
Language: Quite a bit, including "assholes," "s--t," "f--k," "motherf--r," "bitch," "ballsy."
Consumerism: Clothing store, sneaker, electronics, soda, fast food brands mentioned.
Drinking, drugs, & smoking: Mia's father smokes a pipe, and she likes the smell; drinking and drunkenness; children drink wine as part of a religious ceremony.

More on If I Stay

What to talk about

Talk to your kids
  • Families can talk about teen books and movies that deal with a young person's death. What other titles can you think of? Why is this a topic that resonates with teens? How does this book compare and contrast with other media?
  • This book's topic is intense -- as are the descriptions of the accident and some of the sexual material and language. Should a book ever be off limits to teens? Who should decide?

What's the story?

What's the story?
Mia, a gifted cellist who may be heading to Julliard next year, barely survives a horrific car accident that kills her family. As her broken body is extracted from the wreck, rushed to the hospital, and worked on by doctors, Mia hovers between life and death in a coma. She finds herself out of body, able to walk invisibly through the hospital and listen in on family, friends, doctors, and nurses. Roaming the corridors and her memories, she realizes that she has a choice: Does she want to struggle through a life without a family and perhaps crippling injuries, or will she let go and perhaps rejoin the loved ones she has lost?

Is it any good?

Is it any good?
 

Media about dying teens often plays out as mawkish melodramas. How satisfying, then, to find a book that's actually well-written, compelling, honest, and unsentimentally moving. Through Mia's disembodied thoughts and flashbacks we get to know not only her, but also her quirky, semi-punk parents, her sweetly energetic brother, her friends, and especially her boyfriend, Adam -- and all of them are appealing characters.

Despite the supernatural, out-of-body premise, author Gayle Forman keeps Mia's story grittily real, perhaps a bit excessively so in the accident scene (which demonstrates the power of metaphor and grim humor to unsettle the reader), but also in the characterizations, relationships, and hospital routines. She lets the situation play itself out matter-of-factly, relying on the power of the events to speak for themselves, rather than bringing in the literary equivalent of throbbing violins to wring sobs out of readers. This is moving and very thought-provoking, but never manipulative or melodramatic.

Book themes & details

Book Details
Author: Gayle Forman
Publisher: Dutton Children's Books
Publication date: April 1, 2009
Number of pages: 201
Hardcover price: $16.99
Read Aloud: 14
Read Alone: 14

This review was written by Matt Berman
 
 

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What parents & educators say

13
Based on 3 parent & educator reviews:
  • 67% say language is an issue
  • 33% say sexual content is an issue
  • 33% say violence is an issue
  • 33% say there are positive role models
  • 33% say there are positive messages

Most useful reviews by all members

july984
parent of 12 year old
 
Disapointing first, better latter.
I love this book!!! At first, I thought it was really boring. But after I got more into it, I couldn't put it down.

RAININGsunSHINE
teen, 15 years old
 
Love this book. And sex? You wouldn't even realize that they did unless you were older and could put dialogue with action together, its not graphic at all. Hello, I'm a fourteen year old. PARENTS! Please understand we hear worse words at school. We shouldn't need to censor. The drinking wine really wasn't an issue. As long as you brought up your kids well, they should realize that it was for a religious reason.

I izz awsom
teen, 14 years old
 
Loved It!
I love this book! I thought it was really captivating. I love how Kim ( her best friend ) refuses to believe she'll die and also refuses to cry about it. She has a strong character, and she's my favorite character. I also love how Adam still loves her and doesn't give up hope that she won't die no matter what. I really thin that they should make this into a movie! Its a really good book and I love how the character flashes back on her life.

emily12_
teen, 16 years old
 
Perfect for 15 and up, definitely not for any under the age of 13
LOVED this book! How it was a mix between drama, romance, family, friends, medical science, and life threatining decisions. There was a lot of language. But i took note that it was indeed properly placed in the novel. I read this book when I was 13. A lot I didn't understand, but I got the basic idea and story line of the book without understanding the inappropraite parts for my age! HA! I suggest this to any teen 14/15 year old and over!

In_Love_9
teen, 17 years old
 
Amazing :D
Love it! I couldn't put it down wone i started reading it. I wasn't happy with the ending, Cuz it left me wanting more! But they came out with a 2nd book just waiting to read it!

AGbookworm
teen, 15 years old
 
Wonderful Book!
This book is a really good story. I think it sends the message that you should never give up on your dreams. Mia is a good role model because she is brave and a diligent worker when it comes to Cello, she is extremely talented and its implied that she goes to Julliard. I think the book is kind of emotionally tense so younger kids might have a harder time coping with the accident.

Korey_Kat
teen, 16 years old
 
Perfect for older kids, but not for tweens
I loved this book. My mother and I read it, and there was only one small issue. Where Mia and her boyfriend are 'playing' eachother.

Squirmbob
teen, 17 years old
 
Utterly forgettable.
It was not my favorite book, and there were plenty of moments where I got bored of the book, and didn't want to keep reading. It's utterly forgettable. It shows of an inexperienced author, but many scenes were delicately described. Forman has a talent, but hasn't grasped the art. However many scenes were absurd (playing each other like instruments) and made me roll my eyes.

tman10009
teen, 15 years old
 
good book some violence during the car crash but nothing you won't see on tv. There is a sence where mia and her boyfriend have sex but it's not too graphic. Overall it's a pretty good book i don't know if i would read it again but it's definatly not the worstbook I have ever read.

Summerrules
teen, 16 years old
 
Disturbing, yet good
It was a pretty good book with a very strong message, but it was also very disturbing when Mia describes the remains of people in the car accident. I think mature tweens could handle it.

read-a-holic21
teen, 15 years old
 
It's good for anyone over 11.
I LOVED this book! I love how Mia is such a diligent and hard working musician. I adore the love she has for her family and for Adam and her friendship for Kim. I like how hard Adam works to see her! Then she gets better and goes to Juliard. it's so emotional and the twists and turns are so interesting. I Loved it! I just finished it. I can't wait to go buy the sequel!

sjl7
teen, 17 years old
 
Positive family messages
I loved this book. It was actually quite sad though. I started reading it and I didn't want to go on reading it, because it was sad. I didn't want to waste the book so I read it anyways. It turned out really good though. It makes you cherish what you have in life even more. It makes you love your family even more and I think that is a positive message. It's really positive for teens who are at the point where they think their parents are stupid. I've never thought that, but a lot of teens do. This book really puts out that message.

nb4ever
teen, 15 years old
 
perfect for emotionally mature people, but definitely not for kids
this a beautiful but sad story. mia is so human and the whole concept of life and death is amazing. the point of view is so unique and the book reads almost like poetry. the car accident scene is pretty gruesome, but it all ties in with the whole theme of the story, almost reminiscent of the lovely bones (also an amazing book!) love,music,and loss is everything the book is about. mia and her boyfriend engage in sexual acts but instead of the usual ways authors depict these scenes, the characters seem more mature about it and it comes out beautiful (not graphic at all!) i reccomend this book for people who enjoy very heartwrenching and emotional stories

xxamandaxx13
teen, 16 years old
 
Great Book
i've read this book over and over and i love it! there are some parts that older teens will get and younger ones won't. I think it depends on how mature the teen reading it is. The ending is amazing and leaves you wondering

masha13
teen, 14 years old
 
Good for any mature teen/pre-teen
I read this book when I was 11 and I absolutely ADORED it! I think you rate it too high here.. There really isn't that much sex or consumerism. I think that if you are pretty mature at age of 11 or even 10, there is nothing wrong with reading this book.

kiki2012
teen, 18 years old
 
love it soon as i read the first page i was hooked i have and will continue to recommend this book to people cant wait to read the sequel

Keeks In The ...
teen, 15 years old
 
I read this when I was 13 and thought It was a fine book (not my favorite but still pretty good). There are some racy scenes but not too bad. The entire is story is very sad and fairly distrubing. I would say at the youngest a very mature 13 could read this.

readerforlife
parent of 15 year old
 
This book is great. The flashbacks give real meaning and detail to the character's life, the relationships she has formed and the decision she has to make. It is very thought provoking. There is some language and a brief scene that most younger teens are unsure of what takes place. Those things are just a tiny portion of the book.

pennywillams
teen, 16 years old
 
perfect for tweines and older but not good for kids under 12
LOVE IT AND U GUY OVER RATE THIS STUFF THIS COULD BE APPROPIATE FOR 12 YEAR OLDS YOU GUY OVER EXAMIN THIS STUFF BECAUSE MY 11 YEAR OLD READ THIS !!!

tkn_714
teen, 18 years old
 
This book I think is meant for older teen readers, no one younger than 15.
I just finished this book last night and I thought it was amazingly written. It was funny at some parts and very sad at others but it was a fantastic book. I loved the way Forman goes back and forth from Mia's past to present and Mia's life leading up to the accident. I would recommend this book to any of my friends.

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