Is it easier for you to communicate with your kids when you can just send them a text message? If so, you're not alone. Because those tapping thumbs tend to edit out impulsive snark or an angry voice, texting may actually be improving parent/teen chat. But how does editing face-to-face communication affect social skills and the parent/child relationship?
I'm pretty sure teens are trying harder to get away from their parents then getting closer, they slowly grow feelings of independence, and those with overprotective parents are gaining that rebellious and independent feeling at a younger age and a higher level. Don't expect your kid to communicate with you as often as they would with their friends, its a part of growing up into an adult.
Posted by Banana_Face_
on 10/19/2009 (teen contributor, age 16)
Im 15 and for four years now, my mam likes me to text her when im either in school or at the bus stop - just so she know im ok. I also tink i can talk to my mam via text easier than to her face as its less embarassing. (:
Posted by PrincessPixie101
on 10/7/2009 (kid contributor, age 11)
I text my parents all the time, and it's a lot easier. And, no offence to the parents who blocked texting on their kid(s) phones, but I think you have it all wrong. I am a LOT more open with my mom now that we text, and also, texting is a fun way of the future that needs to be used. Do you really want to be THAT parent, the one you remember as a parent of at least one of your teenagehood friends who didn't let her do cool and harmless things you used to do, like go to a record store after school or let her listen to certain kinds of music that the parent thought would, "corrupt her mind"? Really? (Not mad at you guys, just stating my opinion).
Posted by helenxoxo
on 10/4/2009 (teen contributor, age 13)
i agree, i am 14 and i have said alot to my mom through text that i would be embaressed to tell her face 2 face, i text my mom when im having trouble at school, friend troubles, health problems, its not as embarrasing. but i also think that you need to have regular conversation because that would not be normal
Posted by momma5
on 08/13/2009 (parent contributor)
the ocasinal texting is fine however children are are getting phones whay to young,im not apposed to chatting and texting how ever to many people do it way too much we are loosing too much face to face contact beacuse facial expression and tone of voice can turn a convercation into two diffrent directions and we are loosing that. such as when my child says "im ok mom" and i can tell by the look on her face or the tone of voice she is not, you would think she is ok through text, come on people wake up do we need to loose conection with our teens any more then we already do in the teen years any way.im not apposed to texting but as parents we just need to be careful
Posted by marymack
on 08/11/2009 (adult contributor)
That's great. I am a grandmother helping my son raise two daughters.
I reared six children of my own. I think anything that keeps communication open is ok.
As with many other things in life....moderation is the key. If my 16 year old granddaughter is texting at night instead of sleeping....or instead of reading or doing homework....we confiscate the phone for awhile.
Its really simple....and the kids do love texting friends all the time. I think its good.
Posted by Erica Rios
on 08/7/2009 (parent contributor)
I bought my daughter her first cell phone when she was 5. It was one of those kid-only phones (called a Firefly) where you can only dial numbers that are pre-programmed and you could limit which phone numbers were to dial in. So safe and fab! Since our family was in the process of divorcing, it made it easy for her to call me whenever she was away and needed some mommy time.
Fast forward 3 years+, and up-grade to mommy's old camera phone... her ability to read and write has gotten so good her natural urge was to text me. I don't know how much her behavior will change by the time she hits 13+ but whether its in words or by text my kid's sharing her thoughts with me. And at the end of the day, that's all I care about.
Posted by Lmmatts
on 08/7/2009 (adult contributor)
Depends on the kid! I disabled my daughter's text. My son will text me with nice sentiments - when he won't even look me in the eye when we are together. He texts me when he is in trouble. However I think it is sad that our world has progressed to where the sound of person's voice is alien, and the delayed reaction of text can "save face." You can tell more about who/what/where and the state of mind of your child if you hear their voice. And of course I would much rather hear I LOVE YOU in person.
Posted by CharliePATpk
on 08/7/2009 (adult contributor)
Our 13 year old son's cell phone has had texting disabled, by me. There may well be the benefits others have mentioned, but the amount of time that can easily be wasted far outweighs any good coming from it.
Posted by 4kanders
on 08/6/2009 (adult contributor)
I have 3 teenagers, 2 girls and a boy. The girls text me during lunch at school when they are having friend problems, did bad on a test, etc. I wouldn't know about any of it during the day if they didn't text me. No one can see they are texting their mom (horrors!), and I can offer immediate encouragement. My teenage boy texts me on the way to the bus stop every morning - it is our ritual. I text him to have a good day and he texts me back. I have had an hour long texting conversation with one of my girls as she was laying in bed and I was directly below her in the family room. We were talking about some hard issues and it was so much easier for her to open up using the technology that is familiar and standard for her generation. I believe texting can be a huge emotional connection with your kid because you are talking his/her language.
My 11 year old son tells me more via text than he ever did verbally. It's been a great 'private' way for us to communicate - even texting him encouragement when I hear him having difficulty with his siblings. This is a totally unexpected benefit for us. (Note: this was not true with his older brother)
I'm pretty sure teens are trying harder to get away from their parents then getting closer, they slowly grow feelings of independence, and those with overprotective parents are gaining that rebellious and independent feeling at a younger age and a higher level. Don't expect your kid to communicate with you as often as they would with their friends, its a part of growing up into an adult.
my mom texts me all the time...it's quite annoying, actually.
Im 15 and for four years now, my mam likes me to text her when im either in school or at the bus stop - just so she know im ok. I also tink i can talk to my mam via text easier than to her face as its less embarassing. (:
I text my parents all the time, and it's a lot easier. And, no offence to the parents who blocked texting on their kid(s) phones, but I think you have it all wrong. I am a LOT more open with my mom now that we text, and also, texting is a fun way of the future that needs to be used. Do you really want to be THAT parent, the one you remember as a parent of at least one of your teenagehood friends who didn't let her do cool and harmless things you used to do, like go to a record store after school or let her listen to certain kinds of music that the parent thought would, "corrupt her mind"? Really? (Not mad at you guys, just stating my opinion).
i agree, i am 14 and i have said alot to my mom through text that i would be embaressed to tell her face 2 face, i text my mom when im having trouble at school, friend troubles, health problems, its not as embarrasing. but i also think that you need to have regular conversation because that would not be normal
this is a reply to ASILA: yea i tried that and my parents didnt get it
the ocasinal texting is fine however children are are getting phones whay to young,im not apposed to chatting and texting how ever to many people do it way too much we are loosing too much face to face contact beacuse facial expression and tone of voice can turn a convercation into two diffrent directions and we are loosing that. such as when my child says "im ok mom" and i can tell by the look on her face or the tone of voice she is not, you would think she is ok through text, come on people wake up do we need to loose conection with our teens any more then we already do in the teen years any way.im not apposed to texting but as parents we just need to be careful
That's great. I am a grandmother helping my son raise two daughters.
I reared six children of my own. I think anything that keeps communication open is ok.
As with many other things in life....moderation is the key. If my 16 year old granddaughter is texting at night instead of sleeping....or instead of reading or doing homework....we confiscate the phone for awhile.
Its really simple....and the kids do love texting friends all the time. I think its good.
I bought my daughter her first cell phone when she was 5. It was one of those kid-only phones (called a Firefly) where you can only dial numbers that are pre-programmed and you could limit which phone numbers were to dial in. So safe and fab! Since our family was in the process of divorcing, it made it easy for her to call me whenever she was away and needed some mommy time.
Fast forward 3 years+, and up-grade to mommy's old camera phone... her ability to read and write has gotten so good her natural urge was to text me. I don't know how much her behavior will change by the time she hits 13+ but whether its in words or by text my kid's sharing her thoughts with me. And at the end of the day, that's all I care about.
Depends on the kid! I disabled my daughter's text. My son will text me with nice sentiments - when he won't even look me in the eye when we are together. He texts me when he is in trouble. However I think it is sad that our world has progressed to where the sound of person's voice is alien, and the delayed reaction of text can "save face." You can tell more about who/what/where and the state of mind of your child if you hear their voice. And of course I would much rather hear I LOVE YOU in person.
Our 13 year old son's cell phone has had texting disabled, by me. There may well be the benefits others have mentioned, but the amount of time that can easily be wasted far outweighs any good coming from it.
I have 3 teenagers, 2 girls and a boy. The girls text me during lunch at school when they are having friend problems, did bad on a test, etc. I wouldn't know about any of it during the day if they didn't text me. No one can see they are texting their mom (horrors!), and I can offer immediate encouragement. My teenage boy texts me on the way to the bus stop every morning - it is our ritual. I text him to have a good day and he texts me back. I have had an hour long texting conversation with one of my girls as she was laying in bed and I was directly below her in the family room. We were talking about some hard issues and it was so much easier for her to open up using the technology that is familiar and standard for her generation. I believe texting can be a huge emotional connection with your kid because you are talking his/her language.
My 11 year old son tells me more via text than he ever did verbally. It's been a great 'private' way for us to communicate - even texting him encouragement when I hear him having difficulty with his siblings. This is a totally unexpected benefit for us. (Note: this was not true with his older brother)