A Common Sense View: Beating a Computer Addiction
Summer is here and that means kids spend many more unstructured hours in front of their computers, playing games, social networking, and instant messaging.
As a clinical psychologist who founded Computer Addiction Services, I know that tweens and teens don’t come with "off" switches installed. Each week parents walk into my office worried that their kids -- mostly boys between the ages of 11 and 19 -- are addicted to their computers -- and in some cases they are right.
It’s normal for your kids to want to play games and chat with friends -- within limits. But parents need to be aware that social networking and instant messaging have obsessive qualities built right into them where there is immediate gratification and feedback.
Also, many tweens and teens are increasingly drawn to massively multiplayer online role playing games, such as World of Warcraft, or Halo 2, which provide them with entertainment and community.
These games are dangerously immersive -- as they are built to be -- and players quickly begin to feel pressure to get ahead, or not to let down their teammates. I often hear about teens going to bed on time, waiting until the rest of the family is in bed, then getting up to connect to their friends or fellow guild members.
It is important to point out that although there are millions of game players and Internet users, only a small percentage (10-15 percent) develop problems. But if you do suspect there is a problem in your family, here’s how you can spot signs of a computer addiction:
Instead, you need to have a real heart-to-heart with him or her about your concerns. This -- and some strict guidelines -- may be enough to help them normalize the behavior. Of course, it is very possible that gameplay and online chatting is masking a more serious problem, such as depression or anxiety.
If you suspect deeper problems, I strongly urge you to make an appointment with your primary care physician to help you find the resources that will work for your family. Also, you may want to talk to the school counselor to see if there is anything going on inside the classroom -- or out -- that needs to be addressed.
As for the rest of the kids -- the ones who just spend too much time? Try these simple pointers:
Related articles:
Is Your Kid Ready for a Gaming System?
All About Online Gaming
Summer is here and that means kids spend many more unstructured hours in front of their computers, playing games, social networking, and instant messaging.
As a clinical psychologist who founded Computer Addiction Services, I know that tweens and teens don’t come with "off" switches installed. Each week parents walk into my office worried that their kids -- mostly boys between the ages of 11 and 19 -- are addicted to their computers -- and in some cases they are right.
It’s normal for your kids to want to play games and chat with friends -- within limits. But parents need to be aware that social networking and instant messaging have obsessive qualities built right into them where there is immediate gratification and feedback.
Also, many tweens and teens are increasingly drawn to massively multiplayer online role playing games, such as World of Warcraft, or Halo 2, which provide them with entertainment and community.
These games are dangerously immersive -- as they are built to be -- and players quickly begin to feel pressure to get ahead, or not to let down their teammates. I often hear about teens going to bed on time, waiting until the rest of the family is in bed, then getting up to connect to their friends or fellow guild members.
It is important to point out that although there are millions of game players and Internet users, only a small percentage (10-15 percent) develop problems. But if you do suspect there is a problem in your family, here’s how you can spot signs of a computer addiction:
- Missing meals
- Losing sleep
- Dropping activities
- Skipping showers
- Missing homework assignments or school
Instead, you need to have a real heart-to-heart with him or her about your concerns. This -- and some strict guidelines -- may be enough to help them normalize the behavior. Of course, it is very possible that gameplay and online chatting is masking a more serious problem, such as depression or anxiety.
If you suspect deeper problems, I strongly urge you to make an appointment with your primary care physician to help you find the resources that will work for your family. Also, you may want to talk to the school counselor to see if there is anything going on inside the classroom -- or out -- that needs to be addressed.
As for the rest of the kids -- the ones who just spend too much time? Try these simple pointers:
- Keep your computer in the family room, not in kids’ bedrooms. This may get harder to enforce as kids get older and want their own computers.
- Make sure that kids know that their responsibilities, such as homework and chores, need to be finished before the computer turns on.
- Set clear guidelines about when, where, what, and with whom they’re allowed to play and chat (even at friends’ houses).
- Do your homework. Know what games your kids play. Check Common Sense Media\'s reviews to learn more about the game\'s content -- including if it is particularly addictive.
- Play games with your kids. That way it becomes a social experience, and you learn the content of the games.
- Get kids involved in offline activities, such as sports teams.
Related articles:
Is Your Kid Ready for a Gaming System?
All About Online Gaming
