DrJody on Teens, Media, and Body Image
We all know that it\'s common for teens to struggle with body image and that watching shows featuring actors with unrealistic body types can make kids feel inadequate, but parents may be surprised to find out that they can sometimes be part of the problem instead of the solution. Even a casual comment said while watching a TV show or movie with your teen can greatly impact how they feels about themselves and make a lasting impression. For example, commenting on how pretty and thin a particular actress is or how buff and cut a young male actor appears could be interpreted as criticism, as if you were saying "I wish you looked like that -- you\'re not good enough."
It\'s important to realize that our teens are acutely aware of what we say and do even if they don\'t directly tell us this -- or, even more to the point -- even if they act as if we have NOTHING to say that could be of interest. We need to remember that we\'re still very important to them, and what we think about how they feel or look matters. It\'s also important to let our teens know that with the advent of PhotoShop, most of what they see in magazines isn\'t actually what the person looks like in real life. Airbrushing erases the blemishes, lines, and other bodily traits that make us human. And movie and TV stars have a whole team of trainers, make-up artists and stylists to keep them looking a certain way.
Talking with our teens about body image is important because it shows our kids that we take their concerns seriously. Instead of taking over the conversation, though, parents need to have a dialogue about what teens think about fashion or body types. This can shed amazing light on how they see the world. Patience is in order for these converstaions, though. A parent must wait and listen to what their children are saying and not jump to conclusions or seek to soothe out of anxiety. Try to listen to the whole conversation. Remember, it is easy to be judgmental and defensive. However, judgment ensures that the conversation will be over before it gets started.
Body image and self-esteem are married. One balances the other, and if one is off, it can affect the other. For instance, when an attractive, normal weight teenage girl says she is "fat," it\'s important to resist the argument by telling her she is NOT fat. Learn to ask her how she is feeling. Try saying "I am so sorry you feel that way about yourself right now. What has been going on at school or with your friends?" Use the "I am fat" comment to get to the feelings about things actually going on in her life. Body image can represent "feeling" badly about oneself. To combat these feelings of self-doubt, we need to help our kids focus on health and well-being and to accept their individual strengths and characteristics.
We all know that it\'s common for teens to struggle with body image and that watching shows featuring actors with unrealistic body types can make kids feel inadequate, but parents may be surprised to find out that they can sometimes be part of the problem instead of the solution. Even a casual comment said while watching a TV show or movie with your teen can greatly impact how they feels about themselves and make a lasting impression. For example, commenting on how pretty and thin a particular actress is or how buff and cut a young male actor appears could be interpreted as criticism, as if you were saying "I wish you looked like that -- you\'re not good enough."
It\'s important to realize that our teens are acutely aware of what we say and do even if they don\'t directly tell us this -- or, even more to the point -- even if they act as if we have NOTHING to say that could be of interest. We need to remember that we\'re still very important to them, and what we think about how they feel or look matters. It\'s also important to let our teens know that with the advent of PhotoShop, most of what they see in magazines isn\'t actually what the person looks like in real life. Airbrushing erases the blemishes, lines, and other bodily traits that make us human. And movie and TV stars have a whole team of trainers, make-up artists and stylists to keep them looking a certain way.
Talking with our teens about body image is important because it shows our kids that we take their concerns seriously. Instead of taking over the conversation, though, parents need to have a dialogue about what teens think about fashion or body types. This can shed amazing light on how they see the world. Patience is in order for these converstaions, though. A parent must wait and listen to what their children are saying and not jump to conclusions or seek to soothe out of anxiety. Try to listen to the whole conversation. Remember, it is easy to be judgmental and defensive. However, judgment ensures that the conversation will be over before it gets started.
Body image and self-esteem are married. One balances the other, and if one is off, it can affect the other. For instance, when an attractive, normal weight teenage girl says she is "fat," it\'s important to resist the argument by telling her she is NOT fat. Learn to ask her how she is feeling. Try saying "I am so sorry you feel that way about yourself right now. What has been going on at school or with your friends?" Use the "I am fat" comment to get to the feelings about things actually going on in her life. Body image can represent "feeling" badly about oneself. To combat these feelings of self-doubt, we need to help our kids focus on health and well-being and to accept their individual strengths and characteristics.
