Lesson: Overexposed: Sexting and Relationships (9-10)

Introduce

(Note: This lesson deals with sexting, a sensitive topic that can be difficult for both teachers and students to discuss openly. Depending upon your class’s comfort level with the topic, you may wish to have students write down their responses to questions throughout the lesson, and invite volunteers to share with the class.)

ASK: How do people in romantic relationships communicate using digital technologies? Sample responses:

• Email, text, and IM each other
• Post messages on their blog or profile
• Upload pictures and video of themselves

ASK: How do people in relationships communicate differently online than they might face-to-face? Sample responses:

• They might say things online that they wouldn’t say face-to-face
• They can share things online anytime, which makes them feel closer, even when they’re apart
• They might have misunderstandings because they can’t see one another’s facial expressions or hear tone of voice

TELL students that you’ll be focusing on the risks and responsibilities associated with online sharing.

Teach 1: Self-Disclosure in Relationships

DIVIDE students into groups of three to five.

DEFINE the Key Vocabulary words self-disclosure and reciprocate. Explain to students that when people want relationships to develop, they tend to self-disclose. It is usually expected that the other person will reciprocate something personal about him- or herself.

INSTRUCT students to work in groups to answer one of the questions below. Have a recorder jot down responses for each group. (Note: In setting ground rules for the group discussion, tell students that they should be respectful of each other and never use real names or identifying details.)

ASK: What are examples of self-disclosure? (Examples include telling a secret about yourself, or sharing information about your family, childhood, hopes, dreams, fears, and feelings.)

ASK: How does self-disclosure deepen a relationship? (Self-disclosure can bring people closer because it helps them learn about one another while also signaling trust.)

ASK: Are there types of self-disclosure that people should be careful about sharing with others? (Selfdisclosure about very private and personal things can make you feel exposed, especially if someone else doesn’t reciprocate. There is a risk in self-disclosure because even if you trust someone, he or she might share that information with others.)

INVITE a volunteer from each group to share the group’s responses with the class.

ASK: How might self-disclosing using digital technologies be even more risky than face-to-face? (Explain to students that when you self-disclose something using digital technology – whether it is a text, message, photo, or video – it is even more risky, because another person now has a record. They can copy, paste, forward, alter, tag, or share this information with others, even if you believe they wouldn’t.)

Teach 2: Sexting: Risky Self-Disclosure

KEEP students in groups.

ASK: Have you heard about sexting? What is it? (Give students a moment to write down their definitions, and then invite volunteers to present them to the class.)

DEFINE the Key Vocabulary word sexting. Inform students that in most cases sexting is against the law. This is because many states have laws that prohibit sending or receiving sexual images of minors (usually under 18). Some states have even prosecuted teens for child pornography or felony obscenity, and as a result, many of these teens are now on a list of registered sex offenders. When you sext, you put both the recipient and yourself at risk. That’s because even if someone receives an unsolicited sext, that person can still face charges of child pornography.

TELL students that they will watch a video in which a teen sends a sext to someone, and that person the private information to others. (Note: There are several reasons teens might sext: as a form of flirting; as a signal that they want to take their relationship to the next level; as a way to show another “what they can get” if that person dates them; as an expression of sexuality; or simply because they are bored and felt like doing something exciting. Keep these things in mind as you lead the discussion with students.)

WATCH the “Ally’s Story” Video.

INSTRUCT students to work in groups to answer one of the questions below. Have a different group member be the recorder, jotting down the group’s responses to report back to the class.

• Why did Ally share the nude picture of herself with her ex-boyfriend? (Ally thought she might entice him to rekindle the relationship by sending the photo.)
• Why do you think Ally’s ex-boyfriend forwarded the picture to others? (He might have wanted to show off to his friends, or humiliate and embarrass Ally.)
• How might Ally have felt after she found out the photo was sent around? (Even though Ally doesn’t say so explicitly, she likely felt embarrassed, humiliated, and betrayed.)
• Looking back on the situation, Ally has a different perspective on what happened. What did she later realize? (Ally says sexting was “the biggest mistake of my life.” She reflects on how – when she was in high school – she thought she and her boyfriend would be together forever. Ally didn’t expect the picture to be shared, saying, “The picture getting out never crossed my mind.”)

INVITE students to share responses.

ASK: Can you name at least three consequences that could happen if you sext someone? (Students should be aware that a sexually explicit photo or message might be forwarded to other people’s phones or computers; posted on social networks, blogs or websites; and seen by friends, classmates, teachers, parents, and strangers. As a result, they would likely feel embarrassed and humiliated. Some people might harass them. They might get in trouble at school and at home. They might feel like they shamed their family. They might be embarrassed if the sext turns up in the future. And, they most likely broke the law.)

ASK: Is it ever okay to sext? Or ask someone else to send you a sext? (Students should recognize that sexting is a risky form of self-disclosure. Even if a photo is sent as a token of love to someone you trust, you can never be certain what the consequences will be. And, students should realize it is unfair to pressure others to carry out a risky behavior.)

Teach 3: How Should It End?

DISTRIBUTE the How Should It End? Student Handout, one per student.

INSTRUCT students to work individually or in groups to write an ending to the story presented in the student handout. For example, students may decide to write an ending in which Shaila decides not to sext, or one in which she sends a photo to Jake, or an ending where Jake stops pressuring Shaila.

INVITE volunteers to present their endings to the class, encouraging them to discuss strategies the characters used to avoid sexting, or the consequences that happened based on their decisions.

ASK: In the examples we discussed, boys pressure girls to sext, but statistics show that boys sext girls too. Do you think boys and girls who sext are treated the same way? (Guide students to contemplate gender stereotypes with sexting. For instance, a boy caught sending a sexual picture may be thought of as a fool or showing off, while girls may be chastised as “easy.”)

Wrap Up & Assess

Use the questions below to assess your students’ understanding of the lesson objectives, or you can evaluate the quality and depth of their written and verbal responses to the student hand out.

ASK:

• Why is self-disclosing using digital technology risky? (Students should understand that any time they self-disclose using digital technology, their self-disclosure can be copied, pasted, forwarded, altered, spread, or used in ways they didn’t intend.)
• Is it ever okay to sext? Is it okay to pressure others to sext? (Encourage students to think of the possible risks and consequences of sexting. They should be aware of the potential damage it might cause to themselves and others - including the legal implications.)

Extension & Homework

EXTENSION ACTIVITY
Have students work in groups to brainstorm two lists on the back of their handouts: (1) Ways to Avoid Sexting, and (2) Ways to Build a Relationship Online. “You might also handout the Over the Line Student Handout, which students can reflect on as they make their lists. Sample responses:

Ways to Avoid Sexting

• Use humor: “Ha Ha! Real funny!”
• Stress your discomfort: “I’m way too uncomfortable doing that.”
• Emphasize feelings: “If you really cared for me, you wouldn’t ask me to do that.”
• Change the subject: “Um, let’s do something else, okay?”

Ways to Build a Relationship Online

• Write a text or IM telling the person you are thinking of him or her.
• Plan a special date, then text your partner clues about what it might be, and when and where you should meet.
• Spend time online together, but only share really private stuff when you are together in person.
• As an alternative, if students have Internet access, they can use Animoto to create a video montage of their lists and present their videos to the class.

HOMEWORK
Have students do online research and write a brief report about the legal aspects of sexting by teens. Below are three articles to get them started:

“A Girl’s Nude Photo, and Altered Lives,” The New York Times, by Jan Hoffman, March 26, 2011: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/27/uZ/27sexting.html?src=mv

“Weiner Admits He Sent Lewd Photos; Says He Won’t Resign” The New York Times, by Michael Barbaro, June 6, 2011: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/07/us/politics/07weiner.html

“Are ‘Sext’ Messages a Teenage Folly or Felony?” The Wall Street Journal, by Nathan Koppel and Ashby Jones, August 25, 2010: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703447004575449423091552284.html

As a follow-up in class, you may wish to have students debate whether sexting should be illegal, and in what circumstances. Alternatively, you can have students work in groups to draft a law concerning sexting.

DIFFERENTIATED INSTRUCTION
Have advanced students write a one-page explanation or create a three-slide Powerpoint or Open Office presentation explaining how they would use social media to teach teens about sexting.