I don't so much understand why we're so offended by nudity. The human body is one of God's most beautiful creations and is meant to be admired. Yet, we cover it up as if we're ashamed of who we are and how we look. Now, this scene was probably shown sexually, which isn't necessarily good to show a young child, as it puts pre-maritally sexual thoughts in their heads. Which, needless to say, is probably not good for them to be thinking.

Depending on how the nudity is presented, I would say it was right or wrong to show a child that. However, it is ultimately the responsibility of the guardian(s) to determine whether or not the child is mature enough to see that. Parents know, or should know, how their child will react to such a thing.

Let's say the child is watching a Fantasia movie or something. In that, the nudity is casual, innocent, and not at all sexualized. It's Disney, and it's presented naturally and sensitively.

Now we'll change scenarios. You're watching... oh, 'Head Over Heels' with your ten-year-old who is unneducated in the matter of sex. Now, in that very movie the content is not nearly as bad as the one mentioned above. Still, the child will be curious and wonder what they meant when they said 'that thing you did with your back'. Now honesty is the best policy, so you explain it had something to with the reproduction of children. Problem solved. Of course, you could say something else less appropriate.

Basically, what I'm saying is, "It depends on the child, the parents, and the movie's age rating."

ummmmm

Bless your heart! That is terribly awkward - although, really the title should have been a wee bit of a giveaway, and you probably should have left.

I've never had anything like this happen to me, although some kids I babysit did try to sucker me into letting them watch the Dark Knight, but I said no. (The little girl picked up the box and was so frightened by the Joker's picture she dropped it - which convinced her she didn't really want to see the movie after all.) However, before I was born, my mother took my cousin (then two) to see Gremlins, having seen cute little Gizmo on the trailers. My cousin spent most of the movie hiding under her magic blanket.

As for the people who are complaining about the prudishness of American culture in regards to nudity - you have every right to make that decision for your own household, and we won't judge you. However, you don't have a right to judge people who don't think long, painful close-ups of penises are appropriate for their children. The author of this article was not behaving ridiculously - she wouldn't want her kid to see a penis and she knew the little girl's parents wouldn't want it either, her reaction was perfectly normal and healthy. I think the human body of both sexes are lovely and sexuality is a beautiful gift from God that bring happiness when used properly, but that doesn't mean I want either nudity or sex depicted on screen and if I accidentally brought a young kid I was babysitting to a movie featuring sex and/or nudity I would be horrified!

First, I think you're overreacting. Oh, wow, a penis. Big deal.

Second, my story? I went to see "Away We Go" with my dad, my sister, and her boyfriend. Great movie, but the opening oral sex scene was a little awkward sitting next to my dad. Plus my sixth-grade English teacher happened to be two rows ahead of me. It wasn't a big deal, just felt kind of awkward.

I really do think parents in America are waay to over reactive about sex in the media. When she said "I've seen worse," I'm willing to bet she has. Parents are constantly shielding their kids from "negative media influences," but, as a junior in high school, I've seen and heard things at school that top anything in R movies. And I'm not talking about just in high school. In 5th grade, a kid brought porn to school and showed everyone before teachers found out. At the age of 11 I knew that a "pussy" wasn't a kind of cat, and where did I learn it? From a Christian school. I've lived all over the world, and its the same everywhere. Now, going to school in Vegas, I've heard and seen things my mother probably hasn't. I believe that parents SHOULD take their kids to see inappropriate movies (within reason, of course), because you're not stopping your kids from seeing anything by not taking them. All you're doing is letting them hear it from their friends first, instead of with you.

"OMG SHE SAW A PENIS SHE'S GOING TO BE SCARRED FOR LIFE!"

Seriously, parents need to CALM DOWN, because this is what I'm hearing from your kind all the time now. So what if she saw a penis? It's a natural organ of the male body, completely natural. Now if it was some kind of hardcore porno, then I would disagree, but what she saw was just "embarrassing" at the least to see with someone older. As LtH said, there should be a balance. If your teen is looking at nude pictures over the internet, just talk to them about what their seeing is natural, and if it is attractive to them, its natural too. Tell them just to watch out for those weird fetishes that might be too disturbing for them to handle.

As for embarrassing or awkward movie moments, me and my friends cringed at the point in Transformers when the former CIA agent pulled down his pants to reveal his panties (up close butt shot) but we all laughed at the sudden somewhat comical scene. Not really inappropriate, just awkwardly funny,

"We need to protect our children from the smut...if we don't, who will? Give them a chance to be innocent. Purity is a good thing!"

But you also don't need to teach your kid (especially your older kid) that sexuality and their body is something to be ashamed of. I don't think seeing nudity is considered bad and something that kids need to be "protected" from.

Yes, there are sexual things that even older kids shouldn't see until they can handle it. However, a balance needs to be struck between "OMG PROTECT THE CHILDREN FROM IMMORALITY" and "Yeah, Junior, go ahead and download all the porn you want." Some nudity is not intended in a pornographic or sexual context, and it's this kind of nudity that I don't think kids need to be protected from.

My mom was pretty lenient about what I could watch (within reason) when I was younger. I've seen plenty of R-rated (and even NC-17, and by that, I mean gay and lesbian) love scenes when I was fifteen and sixteen, and I didn't turn out any worse than any other kid. Like I've said, I'm more comfortable talking about sexuality, and I'm not as embarrassed about it.

No one here is advocating the notion of exposing children to "blatant nudity of a sexual nature," aka explicit pornography. And no one is advocating the notion of parading about nude in front of children. And, while the movie in question obviously placed sexual comedy which is not to everyone's taste, and therefore rated R, we are not advocating that parents should force children to sit through movies like that. We are however saying, our children can't be protected forever, and we are doing a disservice to them to hide them away from the world, and stifle children to the point of not allowing them to go through the learning experiences which empower them to make better ethical choices of their own. Nudity is not a crime again humanity. No, that doesn't mean be permissive, and take all parental guidance out of the equation.

Our jobs as parents is to prevent harm without creating harm. I had independent fundamentalist parents muting the TV shows every few seconds, changing over to different channels so much that my sister and I could hardly have family time and enjoy the show. It was horrible. We already knew what our parent were flipping out about. It over sensitized us to all the "smut" as one person here puts it. It didn't make anything better for my sister and I. We are not better people because we heard less curse words and saw less nudity. We are not somehow more modest because our parents practiced the isolationist/protectionist ideology of our church whenever we watched movies. If anything we are both fed-up with all the silly censorship and lack of trust from our parents.

Today as an adult and father, my daughter and I never really have time to watch TV. We watch movies, we watch occasional shows together, and I've always coached her about the media, the hidden messages, etc. My daughter knows I trust her to watch appropriate content consistent with guidelines I have given her. The point is I have empowered her to make her own decisions about what is right, and when I hear content that is borderline, I'll ask her to explain why she believes it is acceptable. In this way we can coach our children until they get it right. Hiding everything away until they are eighteen is silly, and can do more harm in the long run if censorship is extreme as it was in my childhood.

I certainly sympathize with ufftamom regarding the eyes peering out of the shower faucet. I think that was Porky’s because I remember seeing the advertisement for it. And, at eight I can see why such a thing would be disturbing. I saw parts of the shows Parana, and Jaws when I was that age and I was afraid of bathtubs and swimming pools for many years after those movies. Without someone coaching us to understand what we are seeing, our minds fill in the blanks, often incorrectly, until common sense corrects those false notions later in our lives. So, we as adults need to make sure children in our care get the right notion immediately after or during the unintended exposure. Then let it go.

In this case we are talking about a 12 year old, which is a big difference. My daughter began her periods at age 10, and was quite aware of her sexuality by the time she was 12. I am happy to report she doesn't feel her sexuality is "smut," either. It will make the 12 year old feel twice as bad if parents get hysterical about them seeing "nudity of any nature." This was an accident, not permissiveness. Rather than teaching shame and embarrassment as appropriate responses, and hiding our children from reality when accidents happen, why not respect their intelligence, and coach them to have a healthy mindset about sexuality.

Most importantly, do your homework before exposing impressionable minds to movies. I think that is why most of us are here.

Ufftamom says:
"I totally disagree with the people who are saying that we just have to make it "not a big deal." Modesty is a virtue that is no longer even considered anymore."

I agree that it is the right of parents to decide what their children watch, but I would emphasize the other end of the spectrum; I don't want to see the government telling parent's that they can't allow their children to see casual nudity, and I strongly disagree with people who say that simple exposure to nudity is some sort of "child abuse" or that it somehow causes people to become immoral. The concern about nudity is NOT really a concern about "modesty." It is a matter of personal taste. Some people simply get freaked-out and embarrassed by nudity, and they try to make sure that everyone else feels the same way. I am willing to bet that such people, if caught naked in some situation, would not feel like they were caught "bragging" about their beautiful bodies. I think it is far more likely that they simply feel shame and embarrassment – that's what people really mean when they talk about "modesty" in the context of nudity. What if a person with an average body appeared naked on the screen? Would this still be "immodest" even though they are not flaunting an exceptionally beautiful body? Again I say that the anti-nudity folks are not really teaching their children "modesty"; they are teaching children to be ashamed and embarrassed by naked human bodies. Period.

But even if fear of nudity truly were about "modesty," it would still be an odd thing to teach children. If a child has above average intelligence, do we teach them to score lower on exams so as not to appear immodest? Do we teach children with above average athletic abilities to only exercise these abilities in the privacy of their own bedrooms so that no one can see them acting immodestly? We don't like people to BRAG about themselves, but since when is simply being natural a form of bragging???

Parents have a right to censor what their children see, but my goal is to get parents to think more deeply about their real motivations for the censorship, and consider the empirically verifiable fact that the anti-nudity attitude does not teach children "modesty" or morality – it teaches them to feel shame and embarrassment whenever they are naked or when they see nudity.

After being a mother for the past 30 years, I have to tell you....It is the right of the parent to decide when and if their child is allowed to watch a movie beyond a "G" rating. There is enough "in your face" garbage pushed on our kids by the media, schools, and especially their peers. As a parent, to condone this kind of thing is not only ignorant, it is immoral. Who do you want to teach YOUR kids about morality and sex? Even commercials on TV are getting to the point where you have to be careful what young ones see.

I totally disagree with the people who are saying that we just have to make it "not a big deal." Modesty is a virtue that is no longer even considered anymore. "Sex sells" has been the excuse that Hollywood, advertising execs, etc. have used to innundate all of us with filth. I miss the days of the Playtex commercials with the lovely young ladies wearing the bras OVER their body suits to advertise. Silly? Maybe, but it made watching TV safer in my mind.

Yes, I do sound like a prude and I am not ashamed of that. My almost 30-year-old daughter used to resent me for not letting her watch PG 13 movies before her Dad and I saw and approved them. Now that she has three children, she thanks us for it. She gets it. We need to protect our children from the smut...if we don't, who will? Give them a chance to be innocent. Purity is a good thing!

With that said, I will get off of my soapbox for a moment to tell about my experience as an 8 or 9-year-old child. My family loved to go to the drive-in on Saturday nights. I remember sitting in the backseat, watching a movie where some guy was watching a woman in the shower, through the shower nozzle. (Just one example) It took me until I was almost 20 years old to get over the fear of taking a shower. I took baths and even then I was always looking at the shower nozzle, wondering....

I often come across as a prude, but I just don't let a kid(or me for that matter) see a movie without knowing what is in it. There is no excuse for a kid to be in an R rated movie, and again, very little reason for an adult either. For those in the movie review business, I must say it needs to be a Christian calling, and you need to be incredibly strong and have a large amount of prayer support and accountability. Otherwise stay way.

Arriving late with a friend, the theatre was entirely dark and almost full -no available seats we could see. We tried to be quiet and stay out of people's view of the screen. Decided we'd head to the top of the theatre and stand against the wall, out of the way, until a daylight scene could aid our seat search. Once at the top of the stairs, my friend realized there were chairs along that wall and thinking they were empty, started feeling around to pull the seat down and sit. HOWEVER, much to our dismay, those seats were already taken and my friend was feeling around some guy's crotch!

This story really just serves to illustrate how riduculous the mindset of this reviewer, this website, and many parents in general is regarding sex in movies. First of all, R reated movies are not substitutes for babysitters, there were many more valid reasons that a 12 year old should not have seen that movie and someone whos job it is to review movies should have been smart enough to look at the little letter on the poster. Second, that kid has definitly seen worse, and it is not the mom's fault in the slightest. It is a parent's job to prepare their kid for independence, not shelter them from anything offensive. If anything this will just make them less prepared for the future (believe me, I know a 14 year old who doesn't know what the F-word means. Guess how many friends he has.) Third, by 12, that girl definitly knows what a penis does, which is perfectly healthy for her age. It exists for a reason, and that reason is not to be funny, so if people weren't so worried about showing it than it might not of been shown like that at all. Lastly, this woman should not have made such a big deal about it, and definitly should not have told Sally's mother. All this does is create an arkward situation for Sally, make her feel like she did something wrong, and utterly destroy any chance of Sally ever trusting this woman again. A penis by itself is not any different than an arm or a leg, and over-protective helicopter moms like this should not make such a huge deal about it and remember what it was like to be 12.

Once again a claim is made without any rational argument. The previous poster says: "Do the men out there with children truly walk around nude in front of their children at all, let alone on a regular basis? If so, I don't really know what to say except that it could be considered sexual abuse. . . ."

As a matter of fact, many families are nudists at home, and I don't know of any scientific studies linking casual nudism to child abuse. Throughout history and throughout many different cultures, casual nudity is considered perfectly normal, and I don't know of anyone who seriously claims it counts as "sexual abuse." Modern Americans seem not to realize that in the big picture of human history and cultural diversity, our current American puritanical obsession with the immorality of nudity is the exception, not the general rule. By most human standards across time, and across the globe, puritanical anti-nudists are the "cult-like weirdos" who are putting their children into awkward, embarrassing situations for no apparent reason. And although it may not be their intension (I understand the "gift-wrapped package" idea), what the anti-nudists really end up teaching their children is, in fact, to be ashamed and embarrassed about their bodies. This, it seems to me, is by any rational standard closer to counting as "abuse" than mere nudity in the family, or on the movie screen.

I frankly don't understand those who feel no concern over blatant, apparently 'in your face', nudity and yet are "concerned with the total lack of morality, drug addiction, and responsibility in this film" or about the fact that "the main character sleeps with 411 women, marries three times, has 22 kids and 14 step kids and is addicted to drugs . . . "!

Do the men out there with children truly walk around nude in front of their children at all, let alone on a regular basis? If so, I don't really know what to say except that it could be considered sexual abuse. . . . And for those of you who don't wander around your home naked why would you not expose your child to this in your home yet feel it is not a problem to expose children to blatant nudity of OF A SEXUAL NATURE. This and other scenes of nudity of this type are not put in for the audience to "enjoy the human body", they are put in with heavy sexual overtones and for that purpose only! If you are concerned about exposing your child to a lack of morality, then sexually charged, provocative and gratuitous nudity sure fits the bill!

If the situation being enacted on the screen isn't one that you would want your child to be personally involved with at that very moment in "real time" in the same room/place, under the same circumstances, with the same characters -- real life -- then, nudity or no nudity, WHY would you ever want to expose them to it on film?

I absolutely agree that our bodies are not something to be ashamed of -- they are beautiful and special --this is what I teach my children. And for just that reason, I also teach them that their special personal package should be kept gift-wrapped until the right time. . . .

And, I don't feel that our bodies need to be flaunted through gratuitous, sexual nudity put into a film. I would assume that a talented director could have made his point in a different way.

I think that everyone has those terrible moments when they've had a lapse in judgement and taken their kids to see something that they're not sure they should've seen and then handled it badly. Please, it happens to everyone. If it hasn't I'm sure it will, it might not be a movie, but it will happen in some other context. No one is perfect.

That aside, I want to share my most embarrasing movie moment which took place when I was in Middle School (okay, I'm going to give my age away).

My mother decided to take me to a movie (it was a rare occasion that she and I went to a movie alone). Talk about not researching a movie, we went to see Coming Home. I'm pretty sure that my mother must've heard it was nominated for Academy Awards and thought it would be a good movie. It was, but the problem was that the themes in that movie were definitely for adults.

It was embarrassing pretty much from the beginning. When Bruce Dern learns that he will be sent to Vietnam, he makes love to his wife. I didn't really see anything abecause all they showed was his back and Jane Fonda's face. I was surprised at how bored Jane looked. It was the first time I had ever seen anything like that in a movie and I was somewhat embarrassed. If that was all that was in the movie then I think I wouldn't have remembered it so well.

However, Jane Fonda has an affair with paraplegic Jon Voight. Since he is a paraplegic he cannot make love to her in the traditional sense, so he pleasures her in different ways that I knew nothing about at that time in my and needless to say, Jane Fonda was NOT bored.

I wanted to die!!! I could not look at my mother, I was SO mortified. Of course, my mother was probably wondering if we should leave or not, but I guess she decided to act as though nothing had happened. We never talked about that scene in the movie. I however, always have a tale to tell whenever the topic of your most embarrassing moment comes up. It ranks almost as high up as my husband walking in on his parents, but that is another story.

Now imagine the complications arising from this situation if Sandie were a father taking Sally to the movies! Imagine having to talk with Sally, and later Sally's mom about THE PENIS! Imagine all the attitude and skepticism resulting from that scenario!

As a single father who has raised a, now 15 year old, daughter from birth, I have a unique perspective on parenting. I've also watched how mothers and fathers parent differently. I have watched how a mother's unresolved issues, and lack of self-awareness socialize girls to be overly sensitized and uncomfortable with their own sexuality. I believe that if a parent is uncomfortable with their own sexuality, exhibiting low self-esteem, self-worth issues, that parent will often times socialize their child to be equally uncomfortable with sexuality. Unfortunately society has, for too long, harmed women's sense of self-worth; making them feel dirty, or sub-human for expressing her sexuality. Sadly, unresolved issues witnessed through unhealthy female attitudes about sex in society contribute to an already unhealthy cultural attitude.

Gaylenwoof has it right, ". . . it is not really the nudity itself that does the harm - it is the cultural attitude that primes the child to be made uncomfortable that causes the supposed harm. . . the best way of treating an incident like this is NOT to make it a cause for deep embarrassment and apologies"

That said, I agree it is important to notify Sally's parents of the mishap, and apologize for not doing my homework prior to exposing their child to content they were unprepared for their child to experience. I would NOT however, be mortified that I had harmed Sally in some way. We do more harm hiding our children away from the world, than we do by using each "mishap" as an opportunity to coach children to have a healthy awarness. I believe we have a duty to protect children from content they are not psychologically ready to handle, but we have an equal obligation to raise children to not feel embarrassed about their bodies, and feel victimized if they see a penis or vagina. We all have a penis or vagina. So what?! Frankly, Sandie should be less fixated on PENIS and more concerned with the total lack of morality, drug addiction, and responsibility in this film.

As a male in this situation, I would have no other choice but to remove Sally from the situation and see an alternative movie. Mothers and society can be extremely judgmental and harsh on fathers in these predicaments. I would have absolutely no problem discussing the sexuality issues with my daughter, and generally avoid those type of movies anyway. Sadly, discussing anything "PENIS" or making a joke of it to lighten the mood with Sally is socially taboo and could easily be taken the wrong way.

Lastly, what's with all the "shame?" Isn't life difficult enough without passing out puritanical condemnation and guilt?

The response by mrs595 reminds me of something. I don't think I've ever heard anyone give any rational argument in defense of the idea that simple nudity is bad. People just say its "inappropriate" or whatever, but they never say why or how it does any actual harm to children. Of course we can say it's just opinion, and leave it at that, but the point I tried to make in my earlier post is that the anti-nudity attitude is what can actually do harm in many cases. This attitude can turn what would otherwise be a harmless experience into a feeling of "something bad just happened to me". If we are truly concerned about children, and not just totally focused on our personal knee-jerk reactions, we should at least try to find rational arguments to support our positions. So how about it: can anyone give logical reasons why it would be better to act disgusted and pull a child out of a movie when a nude scene appears, or better to make light of the nudity and send the message that there is nothing to feel bad about here? (And BTW, I'm not defending the whole movie - I agree it is not a good one for kids. I'm just claiming that it not the nudity that is the problem.)

agree or disagree about the nudity (I personally feel it is very inappopriate which is one of the reasons I use this site); and yes i remember jr. high -- but that doesn't mean that children need to be deliberately exposed to these things

I'm beyond surprised and shocked and disappointed that a reviewer for Common Sense Media would stay in the theater and continue to watch the movie (and continued to expose a 12 yr. old to rated R material such as "the main character sleeps with 411 women, marries three times, has 22 kids and 14 step kids and is addicted to drugs.") even beyond the moment when you realized that it was rated R, but most especially after the "full-frontal" incident!?!

Did it not occur to you to do the responsible thing and remove and protect her from the situation? Even if you were reviewing it for your job, some things are more important and something else could have been worked out.

You don't remember junior high do you?

Ditto.Nudity is so taboo, I don't get it either.

I really don't understand why nudity is so taboo in our society. WHAT is the big deal, folks? Maybe the context in which the nudity is involved in may be inappropriate, but it's not like it isn't a part of everyday life. As other people have said, I'd be more concerned about the other messages the 12-year-old got from the movie (although, at 12-years-old, people can usually think for themselves and aren't as impressionable as many of you are making them out to be).

And then, when the girl said: "I've seen worse," and the woman said: "Really?" I couldn't help but laughing.

Honestly, she's in middle school, right? Doesn't anyone remember being in middle school? When you aren't hearing swear words and seeing people get flipped off and people kissing, you're being bombarded by penises and vaginas in the science classroom.

How old did you say that kid was? 12? And you think that is the first penis they have seen? You obviously don't know your kid very well. They are not 4 years old. They know what sex is. And what the opposite sex looks like when... umm.. "revealed". Don't feel bad. It's not like you took them to a strip club.

Adventures In Baby-sitting

I'd seen this on TV years ago and remember thinking it was funny so I thought I'd watch it with my 8 year-old daughter. OOps, I didn't realize I'd watched an edited version.

Back then Directors would stick a few gratuitous scenes in their movies that had nothing to do with the plot that could then be easily edited out for TV.

The Playboy magazine was a little awkward but the scene where the hoodlum uses every curse word in the book was really over the top.

I would hope that this movie would be re-released in a family friendly format. It has some great blues scenes with Albert Collins.

bobsax: I used to love Adventures in Babysitting. It was one of my favorite movies when I was a kid. Elisabeth Shue at her finest ;-)

Tinmy: Yes, definitely. I admitted that I made a mistake and just wasn't thinking. It was a last-minute invitation, and I obviously didn't think it through.

dgostlin: Oh yes, there was way more inappropriate about the comedy than the full-frontal scene, and I conveyed that to both Sally and her mom.

Palmyra: Clearly I *wasn't* thinking, right? I definitely learned my lesson!

PicaroMT: I'm sorry you feel the need to shame me, but I believe you're mistaken about my relationship with Sally. Unless you know her, and me for that matter, I'm not sure how you could make that assessment. My friendship is not "all but done," and I do still take her to the movies occasionally (I never did it "all the time"). Did I take a breather for a while -- yes, but we still talk regularly, and any time she says she wants to see something with me, I do my research and discuss it with her mom. All is well.

What were YOU thinking!?

... as if the title didn't give you enough of a hint?

OMG is right! OMG, how could you!?

I remember watching Mel Gibson's "The Man Without A Face." We couldn't find a review for it, and we just assumed it was okay. Man, were we wrong! By the end, we just skipped any scene that involved the whole family together, as they all had something inappropriate in them.

Glad you put the disclaimer at the end of this piece, ("The opinions in this article [are] not necessarily those of Common Sense Media.")

Cuz I gotta say--pretty horrible parenting story, Sandie. I mean, if you took a 12 year old girl to a museum, and during a guided tour she saw a penis on a statue, would you act in such a flustered, ineffectual way?

And while I haven't seen the movie in question, I'm sure there were lots more inappropriate things on the screen than some guy's doodle.

Geesh!

I'll tell you why I say "shame on you" to Sandie.

1st - Sandie took a 12 year old to a movie that was inappropriate for a child of that age. Sandie is a professional movie reviewer. She should know better. That's her job.

2nd - When the uncomfortable situation arose instead of helping Sally deal with the situation Sandie made her feel so uncomfortable she couldn't even look at her. Parenting (even parenting other peoples kids) is tough and Sandie should have taken that responsibility when she took Sally to see the movie.

3rd - Sandie admits her relationship with Sally is now all but done. What did Sally do to lose Sandie's friendship? Nothing.

DrJPAbq, you even say Sandie missed a teaching opportunity with Sally. I agree. But, I'm not saying shame on Sandie for missing that opportunity. I'm saying shame on Sandie for hurting Sally emotionally when Sally did nothing wrong.

And now, "Sally's" story is plastered on the internet for all to read. Aliases or not I'm sure "Sally" knows who Sandie is talking about.

Sandie, leave "Sally" alone. She didn't do anything wrong.

What is so inappropriate about nudity? I am much more concerned about the other messages Sally got from the movie - the main character sleeps with 411 women, marries three times, has 22 kids and 14 step kids and is addicted to drugs. Seeing a nude man is nothing. The message that Sally probably walked away with is that a nude male is bad, or nudity in general, but all of the other things are okay. Did you talk to the mother about all of the womanizing, infidelity and drug addition that Sally was also exposed to in the movie?

I'm sorry but, "shame on you" doesn't work with me. I believe in the saying, "Life is the stuff that really happens when you're busy making plans". Individual events are often beyond our control, it is how we deal with them that enable a 'teachable moment' or a tragedy. Just the other day my 9yr old daughter & a freind stumbled across a box of condoms in the street. When my daughter told me about it, I asked her if she knew what they were. She responded that her friend (with much older brothers) told her,"Boys put them on their privates". Then asked why. With out goining to great detail I explaind the idea behind the barrier to the 'pollen' & the 'eggs', but also used it as an opportunity to discuss abstinance in a way that a 9 year old can understand. Her only reply was, "oh, thats what they mean by the birds and the bees". Sometimes our children are capable of so much more than we give them credit for.

Shame on you for not knowing it was an "R" rated movie. Especially with that title.

Shame on you for not having the guts to just look at her and deal with the situation like an adult.

Shame on you for violating her trust and telling her mom when she clearly said she wasn't going to.

Shame on you for not continuing to have a relationship with her and bring her to more movies. I'm sure she feels like she did something wrong.

I agree with the others who say you should have made light of it and not acted like it was such a big deal. When you make it a big deal it becomes a big deal.

I think it's bit odd for 2 mothers, one of whom reviews movies, to think that any movie entitled "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" would be appropriate for a 12 year old...regardless of whether it was rated or not. Regardless of whether it showed a penis or not.

Sometimes...we need to use a little Common Sense.

Personally, I think it's a shame that simple nudity - even the sustained full frontal kind - is considered to be so scandalous in American culture. Simple nudity does no significant harm to anyone (and really should not do any harm at all). It does not promote immoral behavior. If, by some chance, a child is in any way harmed by seeing nudity, then this suggests an even deeper shamefulness of the child's society because by any reasonable argument, it is not really the nudity itself that does the harm - it is the cultural attitude that primes the child to be made uncomfortable that causes the supposed harm. In a different context, that exact same scene in a movie would do no harm at all to that child. The ultimate shame should be on everyone who contributes to a cultural attitude that turns harmless, natural nudity into a scandal, and thus puts children at risk who otherwise would not be. Given that we are already stuck with the culture that we have, the best way of treating an incident like this is NOT to make it a cause for deep embarrassment and apologies, rather, it should be treat as a source of humor, or perhaps with a "wink" and a friendly smile - "that scene was a bit of a surprise, wasn't it?"

I saw Mononoke Hime (Princess Mononoke to you) when I was seven, and looking back, I wonder why I wasn't bothered by all the blood?

I'm really lucky to have a lenient mom. She cares more about violence than sex, so I've seen more "innapropriate" sex scenes than I probably should have, but it also means I'm not embarrassed to talk about it.

I'm so glad I'm raising my son to be comfortable with human bodies!
True, at 6 we haven't talked about what an erection can do (the OP didn't mention it, but I assume the penis close-up was of an erection), but I know we'd be able to handle a picture of a naked grown-up, male or female.

Her mom should thank you -- you provided the perfect intro to the "birds and the bees" conversation. "Remember that time when you went to the movies with Sandie . . ." My funny story is really how my siblings and I took advantage of my mother and repeatedly had her rent us "Zapped" with Scott Baio. She thought he was the sweet kid from "Happy Days" -- little did she know what a sex ed movie that proved to be for an innocent middle schooler!

So funny - and awful at the same time!
We once took our kids to a double feature at a drive in. The first movie was a kiddie flick - can't remember what it was. The kids were asleep before it was finished. The second movie was " Knocked Up".
My husband and I were so happy to be watching a grown up movie without the baby sitter clock ticking in the back of our minds, that we failed to notice our oldest son had woken up. He claims to have seen most of the movie!
Guess we can skip the whole birds and bees chat - Seth Rogan covered it for us!

That's just too funny (although I know it's only in hindsight that you can say that)!! It reminds me of the time when my brother and I were about the same age and my uncle brought us to see one of the Lethal Weapon movies. I think he was more embarrassed than us during a couple of the scenes!

Oh Sandie... that's awful! To tell you the truth, I was a little embarrassed just watching "Walk Hard" with my husband!!

This reminds me of a terribly awkward movie moment from my own childhood. It was my friend Ruvee's birthday and her mom and aunties (big Filipino family) took us out to see "Irreconcilable Differences". Looking back, I bet they saw Drew Barrymore and thought it was appropriate for us (as we were the same age as Drew). Well, there's a scene in the movie where the father, a director, is making a movie with a young starlet who's supposed to be an artist's model. He tells her that it'd be more realistic for her to be modeling nude, and she immediately drops her robe and is standing there in all her glory.

I remember being terribly terribly embarrassed, and then turning around to see all the aunties giggling, which just made me feel worse. I still feel strange when that movie comes on!

you handled that very well and you clearly learned your lesson, lol. but telling her mom was the right thing to do, and the next day was the right time to do it.

She had seen worse? Really? If I were that girl's mom, that's what I'd be worried about.

Great story. :)

OMG, that's hilarious. But only because it didn't happen to me. If it had I would have been mortified.

I don't have any stories like that one, but I do remember being really really uncomfortable during repeated viewings of "Purple Rain." When I was in junior high, it was shown at every party. I mean every single one for about two years. I don't know if maybe the parents just didn't know what it was about, thinking it was some sort of Prince concert movie. But I must have seen it more than a dozen times in two years, and each time it made me squirm.