Blade (R, 1998)

BLADE opens with the violent birth of its star and namesake (Wesley Snipes), whose mother has just been bitten by a vampire. The movie then fast-forwards to Blade's adult life, and viewers discover that he has become the "Daywalker," possessing all the power of vampires but none of their weaknesses. To avenge his mother's death, Blade has made it his mission to hunt and slay vampires. Blade teams up with Abraham Whistler (Kris Kristofferson), an aging human who has his own reasons for revenge. Blade also acquires the aid of Dr. Karen Jenson (N'Bushe Wright) after rescuing her from a vampire attack. Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorff), a human-turned-vampire, unleashes a plan to overthrow the Vampire Council, decode some ancient vampire texts, and use the information to release "la magra" (the blood god), thus enslaving the human race as cattle for blood milking. With his sidekick Quinn (Donal Logue), Deacon must capture Blade in order to meet the ancient texts' requirements before Blade discovers the plot and undermines it.

Sound formulaic? It is. Campy? Absolutely. Sometimes the same old action flick formula is executed with aplomb. And sometimes campy is a hoot, with all its winking and nodding. But Blade, based on a comic book series, accomplishes neither. Sometimes it plods through its formula like a Hollywood sleepwalk; other times, it just falls flat on its face.

Every action movie includes a line delivered by the hero just before the coup de grace dispatch of the bad guy -- you know the one. In Blade the line is, "You people are always trying to ice skate uphill." Watching this movie is kind of like hearing that line: It leaves you bored and puzzled.