Date Movie (PG-13, 2006)

Obese and poor-complexioned, Julia (Alyson Hannigan) laments her dating prospects even as her father (Eddie Griffin) urges her to marry a filthy, stringy-haired local guy (Judah Friedlander). But Julia falls for the gorgeous Grant Fonckyerdoder (Adam Campbell), whom she serves at her father's Greek Diner. In order to win Grant's heart, Julia undergoes a makeover in which she's treated like a car on Xzibit's MTV show, Pimp My Ride. This leaves her svelte and gleamy, Hannigan looking perfectly adorable and sultry at the same time. She heads off for advice from date doctor Hitch (Tony Cox). He sends her to pursue her man, whom she wins over.

Alyson Hannigan deserves better. In fact, we all deserve better than DATE MOVIE, a slow-witted assembly of every date movie joke we've already seen. The film's "comic" strategy is to pile on references to other movies, as if the references themselves are jokes. But reminding viewers of iconic moments from Meet the Fockers, Pretty Woman, The Wedding Planner, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Wedding Crashers, Napoleon Dynamite, Hitch, and Star Wars, among many, many others, only reminds you why you might have liked the first version, and doesn't excuse or explain the cheap knockoff.