Just Married (PG-13, 2003)

Sarah (Brittany Murphy), the daughter of a wealthy family, wants a relationship where she won't always know what is going to happen next. Tom (Ashton Kutcher) is a community college graduate who wants to be a sportscaster but is currently the substitute late-night traffic announcer on a radio station. They met when he beans her with a football pass as she is walking her dog on the beach. A month later, they are living together, and nine months after that, they get married. Their honeymoon is one disaster after another and they argue about sex, money, and the in-laws. They hurt each other's feelings and they each worry about a past lie. Sarah never told Tom that she had sex with the guy her parents wanted her to marry. And Tom never told Sarah that he was indirectly responsible for her dog's death. Tom and Sarah have to learn to trust each other and to trust themselves.

There's a reason that they call comedies like this one "sophomoric." It is because they are designed to appeal to high school sophomores who are just beginning to go out on dates. For the girls, there is a happy-ever-after love story with a wedding and it is even emphasized throughout the movie that the couple is very young, which makes it even more romantic -- if you are very young yourself. For the guys, there is that hit-on-the-head-style comedy of excruciation, with jokes on such always-reliable topics as a rich lady named Pussy, huge, electrical marital aids, body cavity searches, getting hit on the nose, getting hit on the head, and getting hit on the head again.

Murphy and Kutcher are cute together. They became a real-life couple while making this movie and their chemistry comes across on the screen. But JUST MARRIED relies too much on Murphy's twinkly laugh and Kutcher's goofy grin to cover up the tired jokes. Tom and Sarah are immature and annoying. At one point, in a crowded plane, they announce that they aren't talking to each other any more and the other passengers applaud. The audience felt the same way.