Piranha 3D

This film is bathed in gore, sex, drugs, you name it. Graphic images of people being torn to shreds by piranhas, heavy sex, etc. Do not take your kids unless you think they can handle it.

I was going to see it, but after i read this review, I changed my mind. I mean, this review talks about a penis floating in the water. Give me a break. Should be NC-17.

At first glance, Piranha 3D looks just like another by-the-book horror film about killer fish run amok. But it's much more than that. While it does have every genre convention known to man (gratuitous nudity, gratuitous gore, gratuitously bad dialogue), it does it all so well that it comes off as both a bit of a parody and a rollicking good time. If you don't think this is anything other than a "so bad it's good" flick, keep in mind that the original Piranha was done by the notorious Joe Dante. The thin plot involves a police team who discovers that a large group of piranhas has bred in their county's lake, and their preferred food is human flesh. Problem is, it's spring break, and the lake is a hot destination for high schoolers and college students. Wow. Totally didn't expect that, right? Then the sheriff's son betrays his job babysitting his kid siblings and, along with his childhood friend, gets suckered into the world of Girls Gone Wild-type filmmaking. Not to mention, there's also lots of partying going on in the lake, including a wet t-shirt contest. But once the killer piranhas find some new food, they'll never let go, now, will they? So, expect lots of cheesy B-movie goodness in what might be this summer's final hit. Provided you're 16 or over, that is. Violence is extremely rampant and relentless, as the piranhas bite every unsuspecting tourist in sight in an extended sequence. Red water? It's in there. Shots of piranhas biting flesh? You got it. Shots of piranhas biting detailed depictions of severed organs (one of which I definitely shouldn't mention)? Uh-huh. An aftermath sequence featuring all sorts of mangled bodies? That, too. It's all in there, all done in pretty bad CGI. The 3D is by no means Avatar-level, but it's good enough that the little ones might be scared by all the gore. But there are some other scenes in 3D that will no doubt be of concern to parents, namely the nudity...of which there is a L-O-T. When famous actors of "a certain nature" such as Ashlynn Brooke and Riley Steele appear as guests, you know clothes will rarely be on. And the second fourth of the movie is pretty much a bunch of moving Playboy centerfolds. College-aged girls take off their tops. One topless woman skydives. A wet T-shirt contest occurs (and is led by Eli Roth, of Inglourious Basterds and Hostel fame). Lots of strong sex references are exchanged. But the strongest moment of nudity involves Riley Steele and British actress Kelly Brook embracing each other, fully nude, while swimming underwater. This lasts for about a minute as the director films this from their glass-bottomed boat. Language is raw, with many f-bombs and uses of "sh*t", but almost all of the obscenities are uttered during stress. Drug use includes a brief shot of the director snorting some cocaine, as well as a crude game sequence involving tequila. There's also quite a bit of underage drinking and subsequent vomiting. Overall, this is one film that should be reserved for older teens, but if you're looking for some cheesy and genuinely scary horror, look no further. Oh, and get out of the water when the cops tell you to. Seriously, why doesn't anyone do that?

Wow. I don't think I have seen a gorier movie this year than Piranha 3-D. This is seriously one demented film. Yet, at the same time, it is so gory and over-the-top that you are either eventually enjoying it, or on your way home by now. Honestly, I thought about leaving, but some parts of the movie were fun, like the suspense scenes. The gore was, in fact, stomach-turning, and I could not believe my friend ate pizza during this movie. I had trouble just looking at that pizza. Parents: This is, without a doubt, one the goriest, most disturbing movies ever made. Some images in this movie will never leave your child's (or teen's) mind. Flesh is ravaged to the bone, there are frequent, horrific chunks of flesh missing off bodies, and thousands of gallons of blood, plus scalps are torn off, children are in extreme peril, and even genitals are bitten off and the deofrmed organs shown up-close. It is highly upsetting. plus, there's very storng sexual content, many breasts being flashed, a close-up on a penis, and strong, frequent language. What I would have rated this: NC-17 for Sequences of Extreme Grisly Bloody Horror Violence and Gore, Terror, Graphic Nudity, Strong Sexual Content, Language, and some Drug Use. Bottom Line: Although, at times, fun, this movie is way too gory and disturbing to have a "total blast." If some scenes had been left to the imagination, then I believe this could have been the summer's most fun frightfest. But, I'm afraid nothing is left to the imagination. Thanks for reading! - Movie Man