Two Lovers (R, 2009)

Although several critics have praised the film's cinematography and Phoenix's vulnerability, there's little redeeming the drama from its infuriating, often ridiculous flaws. Whether it's the fact the actors are all clearly a decade older than their characters (and with the exception of lesser-known Shaw, unable to pull off early-20-somethings) or that neither of Leonard's relationships is at all compelling, this self-indulgent character study is just plain boring -- not to mention frustrating to watch.

Phoenix plays mopey well but Paltrow is unconvincingly flaky and poor Shaw's character is just uninteresting. The film features a stand-out supporting cast (Isabella Rossellini, Moni Moshonov, Elias Koteas and Bob Ari), but the central love triangle is such a bust it crushes every other aspect of the film under its dead weight. By the time Paltrow calls her laughable two-minute quickie (two weeks post-D&C!) with Phoenix "beautiful" and bares her breast to him across a courtyard, you'll wish you'd stayed home and prepared your taxes rather than finish this boring treatise on unrequited love and urban loserdom.