Unaccompanied Minors (PG, 2006)

Before they're stranded in a Chicago airport by a blizzard, the core group of "minors" are introduced, establishing his or her essential character. With his parents divorced, Spencer (Dyllan Christopher) feels responsible for his little sister Katy (Dominique Saldana). Harvard-bound Charlie (Tyler James Williams) worries about proper behavior and looking smart all the time. Tomboy Donna (Quinn Shephard) hates to be touched but likes to hurt others. Wealthy Grace (Gina Mantegna) acts older than she is. And lonely Beef (Brett Kelly) clings to his Aquaman action figure. Horrified by the chaos of the airport's "unaccompanied minors room," these kids start to bond, mainly over Spencer's problem. See, he left Katy in the terrible room, so he embarks on a mission to bring her a gift so she won't lose faith in Santa. His efforts are paralleled by those of his father, Sam (Rob Corddry), who's driving dangerous conditions to get them. Their mother, Valerie (Paget Brewster), is less effective, watching TV and worrying back home, as Aunt Judy (Teri Garr, in a cameo) drink herself into a stupor while wearing ornaments and a Santa hat. As annoying as such silly displays may be, the children's more immediate concern is with their primary adversary, Scroogey airport manager Oliver Porter (Lewis Black), who calls the kids names and makes it his personal mission to make them feel bad.

Both tedious and hyperactive, UNACCOMPANIED MINORS is also a strangely careless movie. Given that it ends up preaching the value of adults and kids sharing Christmas together, it spends an awful lot of time showing the extreme incompatibility of the two species by following a group of kids who, understandably frustrated at their seeming abandonment on Christmas Eve, outsmart and abuse any and all adults they meet.

While Unaccompanied Minors might seem to fall into the kids-running-amok holiday subgenre most famously exemplified by Home Alone, Paul Fieg's movie is a disappointment in several ways. Crass and unimaginative, it's more an assembly of disconnected scenes than a movie with a plot. After they're befriended by Porter's disgruntled employee, Zach (Wilmer Valderrama), the kids eventually triumph, of course, but you're left wondering just what they've won. And, more importantly, what better use you might have found for your time.

Studio: Warner Bros.
Director: Paul Feig
Cast: Dyllan Christopher, Tyler James Williams, Wilmer Valderrama
Genre: Family and Kids
Run time: 89 minutes
Theatrical release: December 7, 2006
DVD release: August 7, 2007
MPAA Rating: PG
MPAA explanation: or mild rude humor and language.