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Vampires Suck
- Review Date: August 16, 2010
- PG-13
- Genre: Comedy
- 2010
Common Sense Media says
Lowbrow, sex-and-violence-laden vampire spoof really bites.
Parents say
QUALITY
Kids say
QUALITY
What parents need to know
Parents need to know that Vampires Suck is a very lowbrow spoof of the Twilight films from the makers of previous lame parodies like Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans. It's rated PG-13 but pushes the boundaries of that rating with it's frequent (albeit cartoonish) violence, sexual obsession, and language (there's one "f--k" and several "s--t"s). Teen boys who are sick of Twilight might find some perverse pleasure in seeing it skewered, but the satire here isn't very smart or funny, and there's little of value.
What's the story?
Becca (Jenn Proske) moves to the small Washington town of Sporks to live with her sheriff father (Diedrich Bader). There she meets the mysterious, brooding Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter) and becomes fascinated with him. That he's a vampire only increases her obsession. Meanwhile, other vampires are constantly trying to kill her, while friendly werewolves try to help her. All the while, lots of ridiculously silly stuff happens. Will Edward and Becca make it through the prom alive?
Is it any good?
Coming from the writers/directors of Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, and Disaster Movie, VAMPIRES SUCK is an exercise in lowest-common-denominator humor, in which the pop culture reference is king. Merely dropping a name or imitating a scene or a character passes for a joke in these films. (Though newcomer Proske is uncannily good at imitating Kristen Stewart's shy stammer in the Twilight films).
The so-called "filmmakers" have nabbed a PG-13 rating to lure in what they consider to be gullible teens, but they push the limits of that rating to include as much sex, violence, and language as possible, not to mention product placements and pop culture references galore. What's missing is any real humor, characters, or emotions -- as well as any kind of attempt at an actual spoof, parody, or satire. This movie doesn't have the slightest idea what it wants to say about the Twilight saga in particular or vampires in general.
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AGE
Have not seen it, but if it punches Twilight in the face, GO VAMPIRES SUCK! YAY!
Twilight had it coming. No, I'm serious! They really did just have a parody of them coming. In my review of Twilight, I mentioned that it was like a soap opera parody. Well, it has now been out-parodied! Thank you, whoever created this great wonder in film! Thank you!
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AGE
Don't watch with parents
Well as a kid, I thought it was a very entertaining movie and I thought it was really funny. I have very important advice for all children seeing this movie. "DO NOT GO TO SEE THIS MOVIE WITH YOUR MOM OR/AND DAD. THEY WILL TALK TO YOU ABOUT MANY AWKWARD THINGS TO YOU AFTER THE MOVIE. AND, DURING FUNNY PARTS, YOU WILL HAVE TO HOLD BACK LAUGHTER OR ELSE TROUBLE MIGHT OCCUR."
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AGE
God for preteens not any younger though ;)
I loved it! The language isn't any worse then what you hear at school, and the violence is so cheesy that it induces laughs. I watched it with like 3 friends that are 12 and we all got the jokes and just about died laughing at the end.
Team Jacob B****! lol
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AGE
Very inappropritate. Not PG-13 at all. More like PG-16
WAY too much inappropriate language. Very offensive when the father comments on his daughters chest size.
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Kid, 11 years old
January 10, 2011
AGE
So true
The message that it says is that twilight sucks and thats so true
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AGE
We walked out of the theater on this one
I have never written a review before, but always check the site for other movies...except Vampires Suck. I really should have. The previews were very deceiving, and were the only funny parts of the movie. Most of the movie was VERY inappropriate. My family and I ended up walking out of the theater. We tried to look over the inappropriate parts in the beginning, but the scene in the bedroom with Becca revealing herself in a leather bra and panties put the icing on the cake. Also in the same scene, she took Edwards purity ring in her mouth and recycled it as a tounge piercing. I found that highly offensive! I regret now spending the money I did for the tickets. I highly recommend NOT seeing the movie. I also recommend not even renting it when it comes out on video. Hope this helps any other parents.
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AGE
it's improvement from the writers' other films but it still kinda sucks
I knew this was gonna suck because it was from the same people who invented some of the worst movies i've ever seen (date movie, epic movie, meet the spartans, and disaster movie) but I was shocked. It's not a total disaster like their other movies but it's still a bad movie. i thought some of the pop culture references didn't need to be there like Lady Gaga and Jersey Shore. I did laugh (especially the ending). Of course the movie has some inappropriate parts including Becca in a bra and bikini that lights up and Edward nude with a disco ball covering his... you know. 12+
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AGE
Fine for tweens and older,not for those little kids
I saw it with a group of friends it was funny. But for the parents of the little kids who have seen the preview and think it's "funny" it isn't for that age group. It is for teens and Mature 11/12 year olds.
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AGE
""MIGHT"" be ok for 14+ but not for younger kids!
Walked my daughter out after the first 15 minutes. The guy (Edward) grabbing his crotch, with a noticeable bulged was what put me over the edge. Language very inappropriate for kids. WAY too many sexual innuendos.
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AGE
awful movie, dont waste your money
this was by far one of the worst movies i have seen in my life. its not even funny except whats showed in the promos. it was gross, awkward, and just stupid. i was really looking forward to this movie, but it honestly, it was disappointing. dont waste your time or money.
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| Studio: | Twentieth Century Fox |
| Directors: | Aaron Seltzer, Jason Friedberg |
| Cast: | Diedrich Bader, Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter |
| Genre: | Comedy |
| Run time: | 77 minutes |
| Theatrical release date: | August 20, 2010 |
| DVD release date: | November 30, 2010 |
| MPAA rating: | PG-13 |
| MPAA explanation: | crude sexual content, comic violence, language and teen partying |
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