Stephen Sommer's 2004 summer blockbuster, Van Helsing, is a lot like another film that I just previously reviewed, and that it even came out in the same year, or rather, the summer of 2004, which is, The Chronicles of Riddick. How are both of these films rather alike, well, please allow me to elaborate: Both films received a huge budget, lot's and lot's of computer animation technicians working on it, excessive amounts of green-screen effects, both films had overlong time limits and both films also had absolutely no substance at all. Now, as much as I have thoroughly enjoyed Stephen Sommer's work in the past, including The Mummy, and his later directed G.I.Joe: The Rise of Cobra; which is a film that absolutely everyone hated, but I just couldn't get enough of, and honestly, it may actually be my ultimate guilty pleasure action film. But, as much as I really, really waned to enjoy Van Helsing, it just couldn't help but brutally underwhelm my expectations. It has so much going for it: It has lavish art direction work, lot's of well-animated special effects, a very good cast including Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale, and some very detailed visual work in terms for the classic 1930's monster movie look that they were going for it. Yes, visually, it does very well, indeed, but in pretty much every other category, it is just a mess. the performances by Jackman, Beckinsale and crew are uninspired and dull to say the least, with Jackman and even Beckinsale deserving better. Also, there story is basically just one long mishmash of computer animated monster attacks, some mid-evil style visuals and laughably bad dialog. So disappointing, indeed. So, despite the fact that the film is Rated PG-13, it is actually relativity tame for the Rating, though: There is frequent fantasy violence and action, with many, many high-tech gunfights, shootouts, killings and battles, often involving very intense and frightening-looking supernatural characters. Also, there is brief sensuality, including a very brief and comical sex scene that is does completely for laughs. And, that really is all there it to the film, and with that, I really just wish that the movie was not so much of a big missed opportunity, but oh well. I just hope the recently mentioned remake slated for sometimes in the next few years will be so much better than this one was...