We Don't Live Here Anymore

  • Review Date: December 13, 2004
  • R
  • Genre: Drama
  • 2004
 Review

Common Sense Media says

Movie about adultery for adults only.
greenON: Content is age-appropriate for kids this age.
yellowPAUSE: Know your child; some content
may not be right for some kids.
redOFF: Not age-appropriate for kids this age.
not for kidsNOT FOR KIDS: Not appropriate for kids any age.

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Quality
 
Sometimes media can be age appropriate but a real waste of time. Our star rating assesses the media's overall quality.

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Parents say

Not yet rated

Kids say

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What parents need to know

Parents need to know that this movie isn't appropriate for any kids under 17. This movie has extremely mature material, with very explicit sexual references and situations, including adultery, nudity, very strong language, drinking (to excess), and smoking. There are tense emotional confrontations that may be upsetting to some viewers.

  • Characters lie and cheat.
  • Tense emotional confrontations and betrayal.
  • Extremely explicit sexual references and situations, including adultery, nudity.

What's the story?

In WE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE, two couples' lives overlap so completely that the boundaries between them are beginning to dissolve. Jack (Mark Ruffalo) gets angry at Terry (Laura Dern) for being a poor housekeeper and drinking too much. He is having an affair with Edith (Naomi Watts), who is married to his colleague and best friend Hank (Peter Krause). We first see them at a casual, slightly boozy evening together. Jack and Edith go out to get more beer, but the real reason is some passionate kisses and a chance to make plans to meet the next day. It is easy to feel the pull of Edith's appeal. She has neat platinum hair and glowing porcelain skin. Her home is orderly and comfortable and brimming with light. She likes Jack a lot and never nags him. And what they have feels new and fresh to both of them. Maybe, too, there is some appeal is taking something from his close friend Hank, who is more successful. Hank wants everyone to feel loved, even Edith. And if Jack loves her, it takes pressure off of him. Jack wants to feel love, and thinks he may love Edith. Terry loves Jack and wants him to love her in spite of her failings, maybe because of them. And Jack feels so guilty about not loving her the way she wants (and deserves) that he hopes she will stray so that he can feel justified.


Is it any good?

 

Situated somewhere between John Updike and Knott's Landing, this is a story of suburban angst and adultery, with meaningful glances, inexpressible longing, fumbled groping, and a lot of hangovers. Some will find this all hideously self-involved, but many will find it heart-breakingly poignant and insightful in that Tolstoy-esque "every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way" category. The direction is exceptionally thoughtful and rich with detail. The acting is superb. But for me it all became too in love with itself. Color schemes that made Edith look moonbeamy by keeping her in white and close calls with an onrushing train and children standing too close to the edge of a cliff felt heavy and suffocating instead of rich and transcendent.

Yet it draws a lot of power not just from the intense intelligence behind it at every level but from the mirror quality any ambitious story about marriage offers its audience by the simple virtue of locating itself in the core of human hope and doubt. Forget about sharks and aliens. The characters in this movie may not live here anymore, but this is exactly where the rest of us live and where we fight every day to keep living.


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What families can talk about

Families can talk about why the characters find it so difficult to feel love and feel loved.


This review was written by Nell Minow
Adult
April 9, 2008
 
A Warning to Parents
I saw this film several months ago and found it vastly unsettling. A story of such infidelity between two couples that the very borders of marriage are blurred, peppered with harsh language and excessive drinking, I would strongly warn parents against allowing their children from viewing this until their late teens, if at all. However, to its credit, the acting is excellent, especially from the female leads, Laura Dern and Naomi Watts.

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This review was written by Nell Minow
Studio:Warner Independent
Director:John Curran
Cast:Laura Dern, Mark Ruffalo, Naomi Watts
Genre:Drama
Run time:103 minutes
Theatrical release date:July 30, 2004
DVD release date:December 13, 2004
MPAA rating:R
MPAA explanation:sexual content and language

This review was written by Nell Minow
 

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About our rating system
ON: Content is age-appropriate for kids this age.
PAUSE: Know your child; some content may not be right for some kids.
OFF: Not age-appropriate for kids this age.
Learning ratings
BEST: Really engaging, great learning approach.
GOOD: Pretty engaging, good learning approach.
FAIR: Somewhat engaging, OK learning approach.
NOT FOR LEARNING: Not recommended for learning.

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