The Whole Ten Yards

What’s the Story?

Scaredy-cat dentist Oz (Matthew Perry), retired hit man Jimmy (Bruce Willis), former dental receptionist/current wife of Jimmy/wannabe hit person Jill (Amanda Peet), and former wife of Jimmy Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge) -- who's now married to Oz -- are all back for this sequel to The Whole Nine Yards. The story gets rolling when Cynthia is kidnapped by Lazlo Gogolak (Kevin Pollak), who wants Oz to reveal where Jimmy's hiding. Turns out that back when he was a hit man, Jimmy killed someone very close to Gogolak, who's out for revenge.

Is It Any Good?

Could it BE any more atrocious? This appalling mess of a movie takes the definition of "not funny" to a new low. The gravitational pull of its massive lack of humor is so strong that if you listen carefully you may be able to hear it sucking comedy out of funny movies right this minute. There is no story. There are no jokes. All we get is Oz slamming into walls and a lot of failed attempts at hitman humor and a lot of anticipation with no pay-off whatsoever.

Kevin Pollack provides a couple of bright moments as bad-guy Lazlo, brother of the bad guy killed off in the last movie (also played by Pollack). But the rest of THE WHOLE TEN YARDS is nothing but the sound of one failed joke after another. The dialogue is terrible. The physical humor is almost painfully bad. The plot is muddled and incoherent. Perhaps the most painful is the movie's timing, which in overly optimistic fashion leaves moments for audience laughter that never comes, so there are excruciating sags in momentum after every quip and pratfall.