It's a culture of sharing

Why privacy matters

Digital life is both public and permanent. Everything our kids do online creates digital footprints that wander and persist. Something that happens on the spur of the moment -- a funny picture, a certain post -- can resurface years later. And if kids aren't careful, their reputations can get away from them.

Your child may think they just sent something to a friend -- but that friend can send it to a friend’s friend, who can send it to their friends’ friends, and so on. That’s how secrets become headlines and how false information spreads fast and furiously. The stakes only rise when we remember that everything takes place in front of huge invisible audiences. Kids’ deepest secrets can be shared with thousands of people they’ve never even met.

New technologies make controlling privacy more challenging. With GPS-enable cell phones and location-sharing programs, kids can post their whereabouts. This information can go out to friends, strangers, and companies who will show them ads targeted to their location. 

Common Sense advice

Explain that nothing is really private. No matter what kids think. Privacy settings aren’t infallible. It’s up to kids to protect themselves by thinking twice before they post something that could damage their reputation or that someone else could use to embarrass or hurt them.

Teach kids to keep personal information private. Help kids define what information is important for them to keep private when they're online. We recommend that kids not share their addresses, phone numbers, or birth dates.

Make sure your kids use privacy settings on their social network pages. Encourage kids to really think about the nature of their relationships (close friends, family, acquaintances, strangers) and adjust their privacy settings accordingly.

Remind kids to protect their friends' privacy. Passing along a rumor or identifying someone in a picture (called "tagging") affects their privacy. If your kids are tagged in friends’ photos, they can ask to have the photos or the tags removed. But there’s not too much they can do beyond that.

Establish a few hard-and-fast rules about posting. No nude or semi-nude photos or videos -- ever. Not online, not via mobile phone (known as "sexting"). No pictures of doing drugs, drinking, or having sex.

Remind kids that the Golden Rule applies. What goes around comes around. If kids spread a rumor or talk trash about a teacher, they can't assume that what they post will stay private. Whatever they say can come back to haunt them in more ways than they can imagine.

Help kids think long term. Everything leaves a digital footprint. Whatever gets created may never go away. If they don’t want to see it tomorrow, they'd better not post it today.

10 Ways You May Be Leaking Privacy

1. Allowing yourself to be publicly searchable on Facebook. Have you ever wondered if people can search for you on the Internet and find your Facebook profile? Unless you opt out of Public Search Results, they can. This goes for other social networking sites, too. Help your kids set their Facebook privacy controls.

2. Broadcasting your location. Kids can use Twitter, Foursquare, Loopt, Google Buzz, and soon, Facebook to "check in" and tell people exactly where they are. When kids broadcast their whereabouts using these location-sharing programs, it not only makes them vulnerable to unwelcome personal contact, it gives away a ton of personal information to advertisers.

3. Ignoring your YouTube Activity Sharing settings. YouTube's Activity Sharing settings let you restrict all of your YouTube activities, including the videos you upload, to a closed circle of chosen friends. Review your kid's Activity Sharing settings -- and while you're at it, make sure their privacy controls are set to "only friends." And remember, regardless of your settings, anything kids upload could potentially become public, so they should never post anything they wouldn't be comfortable showing to say, grandma.

4. Using Chatroulette. This video chatting site randomly connects you to other users anywhere around the world. Chatroulette requires no registration, so anyone with a webcam can use it and do anything they want -- including tempt your kids to give away private information, take your picture, and record your conversation. Beyond that, these types of programs reduce the time between thought and action and that can be risky for kids.

5. Not talking to your kids about online privacy. Kids create lasting records of their lives whenever they post something. Nothing is private online. Once they post something, it can travel far and wide and be viewed by who knows who. Talk to them about their responsibility in guarding their own privacy.

6. Giving your baby a Facebook page. Really?

7. Neglecting to read a company's privacy policy. When you register for a site or download an app, you are accepting the company's usage of your private information. Many companies say "we won't sell your information," but there are other ways they collect and use information about you. Some children's websites retain the right to send kids as young as 13 email ads and other promotions. Treat the site registration process as you would a store's return policy -- read it, and if you don't like it, don't buy it.

8. Using your real name as your user name in virtual worlds and other online games. Most kids' websites remind kids not to give away personal information, and employ filters and moderators to prevent kids from posting it. But kids who are active in cyberspace may have avatars, game tags, and other identifiers. They need lots of reminders about keeping personal information to themselves. Visit your kid's favorite online world or game and you'll find other users creatively trying to get around the site's filters.

9. Revealing your status. Instant messaging is the easiest way to give yourself up, but every social network allows you to reveal your current status. AIM, for example, makes anyone visible to all their buddies when they sign in unless they mark "invisible." MySpace uses an "Online Now" icon. Why does everyone need to know when your kid is online? They don't. The only people who need to know where your kid is at all times are mom and dad.

10. Letting your kid sign up for anything before you know the facts. Whether it's a new app, a new program feature, or even a ringtone, new things are coming out all the time -- and your kid may hear about them before you do. Do your homework on whatever it is and who's doing the selling. In this 24/7 world where information is constantly being bought and sold, you can never be too careful.