Responsible Text Messaging Tips
Kids communicate through texts
- Texting is the #2 use of cellphones -- after checking the time
- Kids send billions of texts every year -- and it's increasing
- Text messages connect kids instantly -- and privately
- Text messages and images can be spread virally or uploaded
- Texting has a language of its own
- "Sexting" happens: kids send inappropriate images or sexual messages
- The incidence of cheating through texting is on the rise
Advice and Answers
Texting is becoming the #1 form of communication
Billions of text messages are sent every year from our kids' mobile phones. These SMS (simple message service) messages can be up to 160 characters and can contain images and video. Kids routinely use abbreviated language to communicate (ttyl means talk to you later, OMG stands for Oh, my God!, etc.). While most kids use messaging responsibly, it's still a powerful and extremely private communication tool that needs to be used responsibly. (For tips on how to text message, click here.)Why understanding texting is important
Texting is totally portable, private, and immediate. Kids can send messages to anyone from anywhere at anytime. In other words, they have no boundaries unless we help them to establish some. Almost no research has been done on the impact of immediate communication on our kids' social development. But the instant gratification factor of getting instantaneous responses from friends has to have some affect. Any parent who has been at the dinner table or on a hike with a child only to have their pockets buzz with an incoming message knows that texts take your kids out of the moment they are in and connect them to distant friends. Texts can be used to keep friends close, help parents figure out family logistics, and offer a wonderful way to share experiences. But as with any powerful tool, texting can also be used to bully or humiliate people. An embarrassing or upsetting image or video can quickly be transmitted or uploaded to on online video sharing site like YouTube. Sexting is a form of texting where kids Kids have to know that the abusing the privilege of texting will have consequences. And sadly, the use of texting in school cheating is on the rise as answers can be swiftly passed from student to student.Parent Tips
- Carefully evaluate whether or not your kids need texting on their cellphones. Just because other kids in their class have it doesn't mean your child needs it.
- If your kids do text, get an unlimited texting plan. Otherwise the charges mount up swiftly.
- Make rules around when and where. No texting during meals, during class, on family outings. Oh, and turn the phone OFF at night!
- Establish consequences for misuse. Cheating, inappropriate messages, sexual communication. These are all no-go's. Want to make your point? Take a kid's phone away for a week.
- Watch your own behavior. Parents are still kids' playbooks for right and wrong. If you text your kid during class and then turn around and tell that child that he or she can't do that, we send mixed messages.
- If you suspect your kids aren't texting appropriately, you can always look at their messages. Yes, it feels like snooping, but our first job as parents is to ensure our kids use powerful technologies safely and responsibly.
my son texted his friend recently about his party
Both dustyroth and sfally make good points about how fast and loose some people are with their text messages.
That's why we selected the name WuduPlz carefully. Teenagers should not feel victimized or punished, says Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, adolescent medicine specialist at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. “You want them to understand that the freedoms they get are directly related to how they demonstrate responsibility.” WuduPlz is designed to help parents teach this lesson.
WuduPlz (Would You Please) is a new, free web service built to help parents teach teens and preteen cooperation, responsibility & commitment. OK...and to get them to what they are suppose to do. (Never easy because, well, they're kids…) It uses text messaging--a proven 21st Century way to connect with kids.
Here's the link:
http://www.wuduPlz.com
Here's our YouTube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rd-8UcdNalU
Sure, as our web site says, it's easier and faster texting if you're at your computer.
But, to make it more useful, WuduPlz can also deliver messages LATER to provide useful reminders. As one reviewer noted, with WuduPlz, "each family member with a cellphone is carrying around a little alarm clock that Mom or Dad can set to go off with a little note. Very handy."
We haven't seen anything like this, anywhere.
Security is super-tight on this. WuduPlz is safe. And it’s free.
Sure, it's for parents and managing a household--but, it works for anyone who is managing teenagers and pre-teens on a regular basis. And, yes, you can send messages to your spouse or roommate, too.
It only takes a minute to sign up. You'll need to have your cellphone handy. Check it out and let me know what you think.
Charles Batchelor
cbatchelor@microcontent.us
We've written a ton about texting protocol and teens/tweens on Shaping Youth.org, including some sample 'cellphone contracts' for media management with kids...(click on 'mobile media' as the category) There are so many levels of info to know, from media mgmt. to cyberbullying and anonymity issues to productive uses that can get kid out of tough situations speaking under the radar! Oh! And let's not forget the price gouging via mobile carriers...Just did a big expose on that this week here:
http://www.shapingyouth.org/blog/?p=4259
p.s. I'll be posting my own personal media contract w/my daughter as part of our NYResolution this weekend! Best, Amy
Amy Jussel
Founder/Exec. Dir.
www.ShapingYouth.org
I am finding that the biggest threat with ANY texting is the de-humanization of the receiver by the sender. That the receiver actually has feelings and deserves respect and consideration is often not recognized by the sender.
It is up to the parents to teach texting in the same way that letter writing was taught prior to the advent of e-communications. Parents must text their kids and talk about what impact the written word has. Countries, cultures, and ideologies are formed and destroyed based on the written word – that is the power of the written word. Examples are the Koran, the Bible, and the US Declaration of Independence.
Also, if talking to senders of offensive or inappropriate messages doesn’t work, the police are more than happy to assist.
Our primary rule about texting is don't type what you're not willing to say in person. We have this same rule for instant messaging. Texting gives kids a false sense of comfort - and more courage - that they can say whatever they want, sometimes using inappropriate language and/or tone. So, it's important to try to maintain the same values in communication as if you were face to face.
Before given a cell phone, kids need to be told about texting etiquette. There's a new form of exclusion that seems to be happening frequently among the older girls in our school. Particularly the ones who have cell phones.
It seems that they are brought to parties and then those with the hot cool phones text each other leaving the other girl(s) out. Sometimes girls without phones are ridiculed and I’ve heard one story of a girl being brought to tears.
Most of the texting goes on with the receiver sitting in the same room. I know they are usually not allowed in school, but exclusion is a form of bullying and this is just a different form of it.
Parties and other social gatherings (as well as lectures and meetings) are for face-to-face interactions and not texting.