by Liz Perle, Editor-in-Chief
“Should I be spying on my kid’s text messages? ” I hear this question all the time from parents of teens. My teens let me see their Facebook pages, but their more private text communications are off limits (never mind that we pay the bills...). But I must confess that I've sneaked peeks at their texts in those rare instances when the phone and the child aren't surgically attached.
In fact, there’s no absolute right answer here. It depends on your kids’ ages, personalities, and behaviors. You can always ask to see their messages (we did this at home for the first few years so we could teach proper, safe behavior). If your kids recoil in horror, ask why they don’t want you to see them -- it's probably nothing nefarious; indeed, the likelihood is that you’ll see text equivalents of grunting.
The most important thing is that you tell your kids your family's rules for what is and isn’t acceptable text behavior. Remind them that any text can be forwarded to an unintended audience -- and texts that involve drugs, sex, or other illegal things can get kids into real legal trouble. If you do decide to sneak a peek, be prepared to see things you won’t like -- and to have to choose whether or not to confront your child about what you’ve discovered. Ultimately, it’s more important to teach responsible text behavior than it is to fight every infraction.
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