Metalocalpyse (Cartoon Network)

As the world's most popular (fictional) heavy metal band, Dethklok has cornered the market on the hard-living, hardcore lifestyle and has cultivated a powerful worldwide influence from their perch in Scandinavia. So much so that they've unknowingly attracted the attention of a subversive group of world leaders, who have plans to use the band's clout to their advantage. Throughout most of METALOCALYPSE, the guys of Dethklok have no idea that this deadly subtext is brewing. They're just focused on playing rock music and avoiding the long arm of the law every time one of their publicity stunts goes awry. The guys in the group are lead singer Nathan Explosion (a "lyrical visionary"), lead guitarist Skwisgaar Skwigelf (the "fastest guitar player alive"), guitarist Toki Wartooth (the "second-fastest guitar player alive"), bassist William Murderface (a hate-filled time bomb), and drummer Pickles (a corn-fed Midwesterner and former front man of his own band).

These guys make Metallica look like Sesame Street. In short, they're kind of scary. Despite the promising kitsch of '80s hair band nostalgia and the hilarity of Murderface's squared-off afro, Metalocalypse suffers from a lack of smart humor and a plot that never really takes off. The show tries to make up for it by trucking in excess blood and guts, but that only makes things worse. Even adults who grew up on death metal -- and therefore might get more of the "jokes" -- probably won't find it especially funny. And kids? They shouldn't be watching in the first place.