Who Wants to Be a Superhero? (Syfy)

In WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPERHERO?, a group of otherwise-normal adults leave their day jobs and don tights so they can compete against each other as outrageous superheroes of their own creation. Among the show's 12 superhero wannabes are Chelsea Weld (aka Cell Phone Girl), a leggy interior designer who saves the world one call at a time; Mary Votava (aka Monkey Woman), a tree-climbing financial investor who sounds a lot like Tarzan's sidekick, Cheeta; and Nell Wilson (aka Fat Momma), an overweight single mom with a serious donut habit.

In theory, the show sounds like it could be fun. But in reality, Superhero is just too ridiculous to amount to anything that's actually worth watching. Despite the show's noble aims to find a real-life action figure in the flesh, most of the contenders are so painfully mortal that it makes the competition seem kind of sad. Try as they might, these hopefuls don't reveal themselves to be superheroes, just people in costumes -- and that's all.