Should You Read Your Kids’ Texts?

I'll start by posting some facts. 1. Teenagers and older children do have some legal right to privacy. For example you can not demand to monitor them showering, changing, or other personal hygiene matters without this being an issue if it is reported. 2. Privacy of texts does not fall under the above privacies protected by law, and the matter becomes a personal and moral matter rather then a legal one. 3. Trust is important in a healthy parent/child relationship. 4.You cannot take back a text after it is sent, only prevent similar texts from being sent. I presume everybody can agree on the above facts, Some of the below could be debated 1. Checking text messages will create the impression that the teenager is not trusted. Insinuating that the teenager is doing something wrong or dangerous when they are not will hurt the teenager and the relationship. Most teenagers care about their relationship with their parents. 2. A phone with texting should not be given to a child who has already proven themselves untrustworthy. 3. Teenagers do not only object when they have something to hide, many will object simply on principle or because they find it hurtful that they are not trusted. 4.When danger is present it is better to deal with the harm to the relationship then do nothing. 5. Teenagers are generally able to predict future consequences to their behavior. This is why there are many high school students who study hard even though the rewards(college and a higher paying job) and years away, and why we begin to teach children that poor behavior=negative consequence long before their teenage years. The brain finishes its development in the mid-twenties, however that does not mean younger people are totally unable to use logic or predict future consequences. 6. There are teenagers who do dangerous things and ignore the possible consequences. 7. It is hopefully fairly evident to a parent when something is wrong with their teenager. So my conclusion It is acceptable to check text messages if their is a concern that the teenage owner of the cell phone will cause harm to themselves or others. This should ideally be done with the knowledge of the cell phone's owner unless the concern is immediate or informing the teenager would prove dangerous(in witch case the situation is probably so out of control that professional help should be called in). If the cell phone is not surrendered it is possible to take the cell phone off the plan. Ideally the least intrusive method, such as talking to the teenager or emailing a teacher would be used first. If there is indeed dangerous information on the phone then great, take measures to prevent harm from coming to anybody. If not reevaluate why you felt the teenager was doing something harmful and any abnormal behaviors. If it turns out the search was completely unfounded return the phone and take measures to restore any harm to your relationship with your teenager the search caused. As for diaries and other objects not electronic and meant to be seen only be the writer(whereas a text, letter, or phone call has a recipient), those should be intruded upon in only the direst of circumstances.