What is it?

It's not enough anymore for kids to type boring old text messages to each other. They want a visual. Video chatting allows you to see and hear who you're talking to. You need a webcam and a computer with an Internet connection to do it. All you do is log into your IM or social network and enable the video chatting feature -- or use a program like Skype, Windows Live Messenger, or TokBox.

Why it matters?

Unlike regular IM, where kids sometimes talk smack, you can't be anonymous with video chatting. So the fact that your mug is right there for all to see might inhibit kids from the snarkiness that sometimes invades online interactions. But it's not just your kid's mug that's on show. Anything else can be, too. Kids love an audience, and they get bold and they act out. That means that some behavior and some body parts that you don't want your kids exhibiting could end up on display.

Parent tips for all kids

Set age limits. Just because a laptop comes with a camera doesn't mean your kid has to use it. Make sure that any chatting with grandparents or a traveling spouse takes place under your watch. And keep young kids away from any unaccompanied chatting.

Understand the technology. Get an account yourself, and get your whole family connected. If your kid views the program as a way of staying in touch with family, there might be less risk of misuse with friends.

Model good video chat behavior. Show kids how to be polite and respectful, and let them know that's the behavior you expect when they're video chatting with their friends.

Use privacy settings. Just like other communication tools like Facebook and Yahoo Messenger, video chat programs come with privacy settings. TokBox, for example, has three settings -- all of which your kids should enable. You can set it to only allow contacts from your existing friend list. You can also hide yourself from search so that no one can search on your name and contact you. And you can hide your friend list, which protects your friends' identities. That said, nothing keeps your kid perfectly safe, so you need to keep an eye on their video chatting activities, either by only allowing it in public rooms/areas or getting on your kid's buddy list.

No sex. Video chatting is widely used on the Internet for sexual purposes. Once your webcam and account are set up, it's easy to stumble onto these sites. You can restrict them with browser controls, and you can educate your kid about never going there. Internet sex laws are being enacted all over the country; you don't want your kid subject to them.

A lot of kids use video chatting as an innocent way to hang out with friends, but it can be a slippery slope. Kids shouldn't post anything that could get them into trouble. Video programs allow you to record short videos, and once something is captured on video, it can last forever -- and can be broadcast and viewed by vast anonymous audiences.

 

Focus on the positives

Learning together. Kids can use video chat to work with other kids on school projects, puzzle out homework assignments, and, if their classroom is equipped, log in on sick days to learn long distance. (Check out our tips for using Facebook for homework.) These sessions can drag on, though, so set time limits before kids log on.

Hello mudda, hello fadda. Believe it or not, summer camps are beginning to use video chat to stave off homesickness (and maybe to keep parents away). For long-distance travel or the summer-camp blues, video chat can help families stay in touch when they miss each other.

Birds of a feather. Video chat allows clubs to get together to share news without having to leave home. If your kid is in a club, they can share photos and videos and refer others to Web sites that relate to the club. Social networking sites like Ning let you create a circle of friends interested in the same subject.