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Cellphone Parenting

Am I depriving my kid if I don't get him an iPhone?

Parents: you are not depriving your kid if you don't buy him an iPhone. Smartphones -- especially the latest, fanciest ones -- have become status symbols for kids and are the source of a lot of peer pressure. (Get tips on how to manage high-tech hand-me-downs.)

Be prepared for lots of impassioned speeches from your kid about why he needs an iPhone, but, if you don't want or can't afford to get one, know that plenty of kids don't have them and do just fine. He should have some exposure to digital tools and the chance to develop technology skills at home or at school, though.

One argument your kid may use is that he needs a specific iPhone app for homework. While it's true that some teachers ask kids to use certain programs -- for example, Khan Academy, they will typically make sure that the same features and functionality are available on the company's website (for example,

But, if you decide that your teen is responsible enough to follow your cell phone rules and you want to go for it, here are three ways to establish some control over the situation:

Discuss appropriate smartphone use. Make sure you and your kids are on the same page about when and how the phone can be used. Make this a discussion, not a lecture, so teens feel their voices are heard.

Manage smartphone features. The power that smartphones provide may make you uncomfortable. Know that you can start with limits on access (to the Internet, for example) and expand as kids demonstrate responsibility.

Have your kids pay their way. Have them contribute to the cost of the iPhone or the data plan -- or both. They'll probably take better care of the phone if they understand the costs.

Does your kid have an iPhone?

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Teen, 14 years old written by Vaibhavi Ambasta

Well, according to me, the most appropriate age to get a phone is when you are 15 years old. It is not necessary for children to get an iPhone but any Android phone with good features is sufficient. Many of my friends do have phones since a lot younger age but it but most of them barely manage to get a C. It also depends on the maturity of the person. If you have the awareness and responsibility to use a phone, then you can ask your parents to get you one but I would recommend to wait until you are 15.Until then you can use for your parents' phone for whatever work you want to do. Talking about a me, I too am very impatient to get myself a phone and my parents just don't agree with this idea. If your situation somewhat is like mine and you want to get a phone, my advice would be to start working. You can either find yourself a job and in case if no job is available, you consider working for your parents that means doing basic household chores such as washing the dishes, washing cars, mowing your own lawn, ironing clothes,watering plants etc. You can ask your parents to pay you daily for your work. This way you will learn about responsibility and discipline and within one year you can get yourself a good phone
Teen, 13 years old written by Sheilabentley

Hello, Im almost 14 in a couple of days, like in 10 days, and I have to be honest and say I did beg for a phone since 6th grade and I'm going to 8th grade. My friends have had a phone since 5th grade and and yes, I was jealous of them. But now I realize what would I have done with a phone that early? No one cared if you had a phone because I was pretty popular then and I did not need one. Moving on to middle school, sure, every popular girl/boy has one, I get it. But you have to look at the big picture, most of them, not all, are pretty bad people. They vape or are abused, or poor in a way and this is how they hide themselves by talking to fake friends and texting to fake people. Not everyone is like that but don't put ur standards to them. They aren't perfect either and I'm not being bullied for not having a phone. I would love to have one for my birthday but I don't NEED ONE. Understand?
Adult written by Daniel K

Its all image. Iphone, wireless beats, Lebrons. Some parents spoil their kids and will pay for those $400 beats. We didn't. And we bought our teenager a refurbished iphone that came from a reputable vendor in an authentic box with all accessories. It was older. His friends made fun of it. That's life. Later we blocked snapchat and instagram. Instagram feed was full of butts and boobs. Snapchat was full of kids showing off vape or sending lewd photos. His life was dedicated to "streaks" and that's truly stupid. Kids will -always- find ways to make fun of each other. When I was little, we obviously didn't have all these cool toys. They made fun of my hair, nose, braces, clothes, last name, mistakes, where I lived and how much money we had. They made fun of me for things my brothers and sisters did. A lot of the kids here think parents are so disconnected from what life is like now. It hasn't changed just because technology is better. That doesn't mean that technology is bad, and if you have access to it that's great. If you have an iphone, you should be thankful. Outside of the developed nations, most of the world lives in poverty. Be thankful for what you do have, and know that none of this will matter once you're older. Being popular in grade school won't mean anything once your in high school. Being popular in high school largely won't mean anything once you're an adult. Once you have a job and some money coming in, you can buy your own phone and the things you like.
Teen, 14 years old written by KiwiGirl4

Im 11, turning 12 in Sep, and I really want a phone. My mom is really against it, saying that I don't need one, and I have internet access and all, but I'm going into middle school this year. I can't really live off an iPad and desktop all my life. Im planning to join multiple clubs and extra curricular activities, and I need one to be able to inform my parents about my schedule. I can't take an iPad to school and text there, as our middle school won't give their wifi password out, and I don't have cellular data on my iPad, which means I can't call or text anywhere out of home. My cousins both got a phone early, one of my cousins got it at 12, and the other at 8. I think i'm pretty mature, I have all A grades, and I have NEVER lost an expensive thing, and my mom says I have to wait until 7 grade or even 8 grade. I'm trying to even get rid of my stuff, but when I was trying to do it in installments, my mom yelled at me because of the big pile of stuff on my floor. You might say im just mad, or spoiled but I am not. Im the only kid IN MY GRADE without a phone and im always made fun of. Anyway, thank you for listening to my life.
Teen, 14 years old written by KiwiGirl4

Im 11, turning 12 in Sep, and I really want a phone. My mom is really against it, saying that I don't need one, and I have internet access and all, but I'm going into middle school this year. I can't really live off an iPad and desktop all my life. Im planning to join multiple clubs and extra curricular activities, and I need one to be able to inform my parents about my schedule. I can't take an iPad to school and text there, as our middle school won't give their wifi password out, and I don't have cellular data on my iPad, which means I can't call or text anywhere out of home. My cousins both got a phone early, one of my cousins got it at 12, and the other at 8. I think i'm pretty mature, I have all A grades, and I have NEVER lost an expensive thing, and my mom says I have to wait until 7 grade or even 8 grade. I'm trying to even get rid of my stuff, but when I was trying to do it in installments, my mom yelled at me because of the big pile of stuff on my floor. You might say im just mad, or spoiled but I am not. Im the only kid IN MY GRADE without a phone and im always made fun of. Anyway, thank you for listening to my life.
Teen, 13 years old written by James63212

I am 14 Years old. Get your kid a phone android or Apple when they turn 14 Apple iPhones are supported 5years while Android are only 2 Android phones are around 300$ while Apple is 600$ to 700$ a iPhone will last five years where you will be switching a android out every two years so iPhones appear to be more expensive but in the long run they are cheaper and better then android plus if you get your child a iPhone at 14 In five years they will be in college or out of school and they can pay for a new one for themselves. I will get a new iPhone in two years I have the iPhone 11Pro just because I like having the newest model but My iPhone will be cleaned and traded in. I go to a all boys Private school and most have iPhones but most of them are pretty well off. I am not rich more like upper class so that is the only reason I have the latest iPhone. Also the iPhone se2 just came out for only 399$ so maybe this could be a option for your kid.
Kid, 12 years old

My friend got an iPhone 8 (I think) or an iPhone 7 on her tenth birthday. I’m just turning 12 and I have an iPad and an iPhone 5c. Neither of them work very well at all. The iPhone 5c barely works, so I don’t use it at all. I’m using my iPad right now, but it makes me feel like a 2 year old because all of my friends (except for one, but she’s a year younger than me) have a phone. I have tiktok, but not snap or insta. When I’m on tiktok (originally, I had it when I was 8 years old lol) all the videos are like (take your phone, do this, it’s so cool!!!) okay, amazing, but there’s a little problem about that. I don’t use my phone. It doesn’t work. My parents are like “you do have a phone! Why are you asking for one??? HERES WHY!!! We did some speed test thing, and my parents’ devices had like 200-300. My phone had 3. I’m not joking. My iPad had like 50 or something, but how do you expect my phone to work well. There’s evidence. I kind of sound spoiled right now, but I’m not. I get good grades, I’m nice, i think I deserve a phone. That’s just my opinion. So I shared my thoughts with my parents, and they agreed that if I helped sell stuff on eBay, I could buy a phone with the money that I earned from it (I got half of the money). So now I’m saving up for the new iPhone SE, and I’m SO HAPPY! I can finally get social media (I already have tiktok, but I’m talking about snap and insta), and I can finally be included with all of the people that have phones!!!!! Parents, of your reading this, please consider giving your child a phone, if you think they deserve one for their behavior. Thanks for reading this giant paragraph :)
Teen, 13 years old written by James63212

I am 14 and I just got a new iPhone 11 Pro and AirPods that I helped pay for myself. I have never had a Android but they seem OK. I go to a private school and most people have iPhones but some have Androids. I have noticed some people say stuff about not having a iPhone but no one really cares it’s more of just a “joke”. If your kid really wants a iPhone I would recommend giving them a older phone at first to prove they will be careful with your expensive purchase.
Teen, 13 years old written by blinmachine

Im 12, and Im using my dads old phone, a galaxy s7. I got this phone recently when I turned 12. Really the only thing your kid will probably use their phone for is to play games or watch videos or whatever idk. The point of a PHONE is to CALL people, that's why its called a PHONE. You use it for COMMUNICATION. Plus your kid will probably never take care of it and it will probably break in the future. Plus you have to focus on what you actually need and what you don't need. You don't really need the lastest tech like an Iphonne 11 or anything like that anyway.
Teen, 14 years old written by Grace2512

Ive read alot of these nd honestly im in the middle of this as i am a 14year old girl that goes to a sective all girls grammar school in the UK. Nobody 'bullies me' per say but i do get down about it. At my school everyones parents payed for tuition to study for a test to get in so most of the people that go to this school are kind of well off. I had no revision and just got in on skills. However, none of my friends bully me but its annoying when they go on about the latest updates and all this that my huawei y6 cant do. They have iphone chats that i cant be apart of. To top it off nearly all my teachers have i phones and base there lessons around them when we do use our phones. Nobody will ever 'Need' and iphone but mentally it effects me as ik im missing out on so much at school and with my friends . I dont know a single person apart from me without and iphone in my year group but it depends on how everyone feels bc i didnt care up to this year at school when everyone was getting amazing phones and i could barly get mine to stop spazzing. Honestly it depends on wether you are the only kid with an android or not because at another school in my area that is not selective WAY more people have androids and i think i would mentally feel better there
Teen, 14 years old written by RedVelvetCake

Ok,so I am 14 years old,I used to have an iphone but my parents took it away from me when I was like 12 beacuse my grades were not good enough etc.Loads of kids in my class get into trouble with their phones and it causes them alot of stress.However,having a phone can be really good,you can take photos and do homework on the go(I normally have to ask my parents and I feel really embarresed).I sometimes feel self-conscious that everyone has a smartphone and I have a nokia brick,but after GCSE(an exam you take at 16),my parents will allow me to buy one.I think its a fair point,my parents have,beacuse phones are good and all but they can cause trouble and you need to know how to use it wisely.
Teen, 13 years old written by justakidfromatown

To be honest, I go to a magnet school with some 600+ students so we actually use our phones, especially to get info from our teachers. So I would consider a phone a necessity to that extent. An iPhone is highly debatable. If you can afford to pay for one, go for it, and if you can’t, stick with an Android. I personally have an iPhone but I’ve had android before and it’s far from terrible! Hope this helps!
Kid, 11 years old

I am in middle school, and there's a lot of kids who have newer iPhone models, Airpods, etc., but most of them don't deserve to have them. They don't work hard at school and don't care about their grades. I disagree with the way they are being parented and believe they should have to earn these things instead of just getting whatever they want, regardless of how much money their families have. They should either complete a series of tasks, such as have all their grades above 95 or save up for what they want themselves, by doing chores, and not with money they haven't earned. These kids might have it harder later in life when they realize their parents won't give them everything. Therefore, it would be better for kids to work hard to get what they want, and not get what they don't deserve without working for it.
Teen, 13 years old written by Geez_Dude

Let me tell you my system- I'm 13 (almost 14) and I don't have a phone. However, my mom (who is usually REALLY overprotective) says that if I save up $200 by doing various chores, then I could get an iPhone on her line. (probably not the latest iPhone, but I don't care, as long as its newer than my old iPhone 5s :]) And my mom's method is what other parents should be doing. Once a phone is a necessity for a child, or you feel that they are ready for one, make them choose a phone they want and make them save for half of it (mostly because kids who get paid allowance and don't necessarily have a steady income like adults aren't mentally ready to save 1000+ dollars)
Teen, 14 years old written by Frogface_

My parents gave my brother a flip phone when he was in 6th grade because he was going to school on his own. I got his flip phone when I started going to school on my own. When he was 11, he got a samsung galaxy young because it could fit in his pocket. He bought himself a samsung galaxy s5 when he was 12, and used it for 5 years until it broke, and he used the phone my parents had gotten me and then taken back because it was too big. He bought himself a samsung galaxy 9 when he was 16 and is still using it to this day. I got a phone when I was 11 and then switched to my brother's old phone because it was smaller and had a better camera. I personally prefer older phones because they're simpler and harder to get addicted to. I think you should get your child a flip phone, and they can save up to buy themselves an Iphone. Apple constantly updates their phones and computers so that you have to get a new one every year or two. You should tell your child that samsungs are better. If you're worried about the cost, you can always get a refurbished phone.
Adult written by S.Mod.A20

 doesn’t force you to upgrade your phone or computer every year or two, what the heck are you on about? And Samsung’s aren’t objectively better, nor are iPhones.
Teen, 16 years old written by Blueface23

Honestly I’m 16 turning 17 growing up I never was bullied about not having a nice enough phone, I had Samsung’s and iPods and tablet, when I hit grade 8 I got a iPhone 5s and it broke and I had get another and kept getting one till I went on my moms plan and didn’t break it for 2 years and after that grade 10 upgraded to iPhone 8 And 2 year plan wasn’t up from that but I had my phone stolen at a party and my mom needed a way to contact me so she payed the 200 and something dollars off the contract and upgraded my phone I now have the iPhone 11 and honestly I think every kid deserves a phone to be able to contact friends and family even tho I don’t contact family because my dad if around ouch
Kid, 11 years old

Androids and other brands are fine! Your kid doesn´t need a iPhone! If your kid REALLY wants a iPhone for some reason, and you dislike iPhones, make them pay for it themselves! Kids: If you think you wont save up say, 600 dollars for a iPhone Xr, do the 25 dollars a month for 24 months thing. I suggested that idea to my parents, and their response is still pending, but maybe by May I´ll have one.
Kid, 11 years old

Androids and other brands are fine! Your kid doesn´t need a iPhone! If your kid REALLY wants a iPhone for some reason, and you dislike iPhones, make them pay for it themselves! Kids: If you think you wont save up say, 600 dollars for a iPhone Xr, do the 25 dollars a month for 24 months thing. I suggested that idea to my parents, and their response is still pending, but maybe by May I´ll have one.
Adult written by Tm2015

I have 4 children and I'm a single mother. My children range in ages 4 to 16. What I've learned is each child is different and remembering that will save all parties a lot of grief. My oldest(16 yr old girl) loves her phone and has had one for years. However, she is perfectly content with a phone a couple generations back. Let me add she has straight a's, is in honor classes, and she takes care of her 3 little brothers while I'm at work. Absolutely no reason to have an "old" phone. My 14 yr old son cares a lot more about name brands and his "rep" and "drip" etc. Having an iPhone (especially newest) is a huge deal to him. However, my 12 yr old son doesn't care what kind of phone he has as long as he has Netflix, his games, and texting. Then my 4yr old son wants to be like his "bubbas" and "sissy' and wants a phone to play his games and listen to his music. Our system is fairly simple, we get new phones and cases every 2 years, to get phones (and keep them) you MUST maintain at LEAST a B average in school(all honor classes), attendance is required and THEIR responsibility, they MUST do their chores to my liking, and ALL must help with the 4yr old(they take shifts by days). Now, because my oldest has the most responsibility and is also driving she gets to pick her phone 1st even though she cares less then my 14 yr old.(I give their options based on what I can afford, a total amount for all 4 of them, and then they choose based on the order that follows. Only way to get a different one is if they are paying for a portion of it). Typically my 16 yr old will choose a less expensive version so that my 14 yr old can get a newer version. My 12 yr old chooses 3rd and we replace the 4 yr old's tablet screen and case. So this past year(2019) at 16, 14, 12 and 4 we bought devices as follows: 16 got a Samsung Galaxy S8 pre owned, 14 got an iPhone x preowned, 12 got a Samsung J3 new, and 4 got the gizmo tablet. Because I do work hard and scrape to save the phones come with their choice of case, required screen protector, their choice of headphones/earbuds(chosen very similarly to the way we choose phones) and a charger(wireless, portable or whatever). Not saying this is a great plan or right or wrong but it works for us. I want to reward them for their hard work and the fact they have to do extra bc I'm a single mom. However, not every family or every child is going to get what they want. Its ultimately up to the individual parent to decide. And kids, try to remember, just because it looks like your parents can afford those phones etc doesn't mean they actually can. Try to remember everything else they pay for too, like sports, movies, your new shoes etc. Maybe look for ways to help them save a little by doing something they pay someone else for, like cutting the grass or washing the car. JS.
Adult written by lucasterry235

I appreciate your blog. This is a great blog. Thanks for sharing this blog about Cellphone Parenting. Your blog gave us great inspiration.
Teen, 13 years old written by pb_ j

No, it is not depriving your kid, but I do go through this. While I can get bullied for not having one, you should only get your child a cell if they are responsible enough for one, but I am a teen and still do not own a phone. but for your kid, it really depends on how they act and what they do. If you child is just begging for one and is whining, then they shouldn't get one. They are just being bratty or spoiled. But for me,I score excellent grades, am in student council, I am Secretary in student council, I earned my way into GT. (I was doing way better than other kids and turned down offers to join but I was just thrown into there because , according to a teacher, 'I needed to get the hell out of a normal class.') I am very responsible and I will always help others, but why don't I have one? It's hard not having one because I get bullied. And with the grade in entering next year, it will be hard to get through it I don't get a phone this year. I hope I get one for my birthday. And I've always been a great kid! My family agrees! But why do I have to wait. They say I'm too smart for one. Really? I promise I will do anything for a phone. I get told I'm a very social person and don't need one because I already know plenty of people, while it is true I am social, I would love to see what is in the internet that can teach me things for school and meet other good people. It hard to go through 'electronic day' and be the only kid who has to use a school computer while everyone else is on theirs . I even told my teacher as a joke I didn't have one and they actually felt bad for me because they know how hard it is for kids who don't have one. Even the one kid in my many classes, only one didn't have a phone! It was just me and him so I felt like I wasn't alone, but then, he got one for Christmas and I still didn't have one. I live in a more than middle-class family, but trust me, I know my manners. People will say "What! You're family is like this and you don't have a phone?!" An actual quote from a friend . I know that I am capable of owning one and following all rules set in place, and I don't care what phone it is, and iPhone or Android. But please, if your child is 5th-6th grade and is a very good kid, and you know that they will take care of it and follow your rules, then get them one. I really don't see why people won't get their 14+ kids a phone and yet most of the 6 year olds at my local elementary school have one. I was told once that I won't get one until I'm a junior in high school. Hopefully he was joking. I really am seriously thinking about writing a six page reasoning for why I should get one. Front and back. 12 pages pretty much. But please don't hurt your kid and not get them a phone. Kids are mean and not what parents think they are. But also keep in mind that if they are just asking for one and 'need' it for their social life then they're pretty much begging. Most of the kids info to school with don't even deserve a cell. And when I went to an 11 year olds birthday, I WITNESSED her get a phone. I honestly felt like crying because there I was, filming in on my 40 dollar tablet. And that is another person who doesn't deserve one yet got one anyways. Just get your child one.
Teen, 13 years old written by Geez_Dude

YES YOU ARE. I am 13 years old and the only phones I have are: a broken iphone 5s with NO plan or phone number, and a broken ipod touch. my parents say that I should save up for a new phone but this is coming from someone who gives me a "big allowance" of $3/week. were not poor. My parents just still think its 1987 when kids dont have phones. Like seriously the phone they have is one they share and its a cracked iphone 6 plus even though they can EASILY afford iphones. UGHH
Teen, 13 years old written by jjvargas6

@geez_dude that's an insensitive thing to say. maybe your parents want you to earn your phone. Phones are expensive, if you can show to your parents that you deserve a phone, maybe they will buy you one. Phones are not needed to live, so you just want a phone. Most kids don't even have a phone, you should be grateful. I have an iPhone 11 because I get really good grades, I've sold some of my stuff, and racked up money just so I could buy. You have to prove you can own such an expensive piece of equipment, don't just expect to have one because all of the other kids can. If you have the ability to write this comment with your broken iphone 5s, then you have a prefectly working phone. If you really need a cell phone plan, tell your parents why, and don't just say because you want one or other people have one. Give good details. If it doesn't work, just remember that someday you will have the money and the permission to buy yourself a new phone and everyday gets closer to you being able to get that phone. I think that if you want a phone earn it, buy it, or try to convince your parents to get you one. In a modern age it is a good idea to get your kids a phone that can at least call and text, but if not, your kids will be okay, you don't need a $600 phone to live.
Teen, 15 years old written by girl_got_brains123

Phones...Phones... I really think they’re important. I’m 15 and I still don’t have a phone. I have no friends nor... a man. I’m always all alone with my study books. I get straight A’s, I’m in the gifted program, and I used to be in third grade, then moved up to sixth, but back to fourth grade the next year because I was WAY too young for sixth grade. My parents say an iPhone will mess with my brain and health. They have big plans for me. They’re hoping I could go to Harvard, become a pediatrician, become rich, and live a happy life. So far it’s not happy. Phones are the only thing I want right now. I would do anything for one, even get all Fs on my report card. In fifth grade I used to have a friend named Vanessa. She was a true friend. She ended up getting a phone in sixth grade. After that she completely ditched me. After that she was known as the most CCP girl in school. She’s still in my class now. She makes fun of me for basically EVERYTHING I do! Every time I laugh, she’s like, “What was that?!” Then copy’s my laugh, then goes on social media. She always catches me doing weird things with my face on her camera, then she posts them and her my her CCP friends chat away... with their fingers. The point is, phones may not be healthy, but they can improve your social life. Kids should get a phone during fourth to sixth grade. Listen to their hearts, and trust them to make their own choices.
Teen, 14 years old written by GiveYouKidAPhone

I got my first phone when I was in 3rd grade which was the iPhone 5c... My parents made a really bad choice of getting a 4rd graded a phone. When I was in 5th Grade I upgraded to a IPhone Se which I loved at first but after dropping it once the battery life was terrible. When I got into 7th Grade I got the iPhone 8 Plus.... 1 year later they gave me a Apple Watch. Overall I think your kid should get a phone and let them experience with a phone.
Teen, 14 years old written by iPhone Guinness

I’m 14, and didn’t get a phone until I was 13. It really isn’t fair that we have to wait a long lifetime, while some kids are getting phones as early as 6. Right now I have the iPhone 11, and the reason I had to wait super long is because my parents thought a phone was just as good as my old iPod touch, 6th generation, but it isn’t the same, and I think every parent should read these articles that these kids, who actually suffered through this, shared with confused parents who are mixed up between getting their kids a phone, and seeing how kids feel. I don’t want every kid here to suffer the way I did. I hope this message helps the parents and kids get through this depressing time. But, my whole story is simple... I got a tablet once I was four, got an iPod touch when I turned eight, and had to wait until I was 13 to afforded my dream phone, since I actually started believing my parents were serious. When I had the money, I showed them the phone I wanted, and let them count my money, to show I had enough from babysitting, chores, and every basket I make in a basketball game I get $5. My parents talked a lot after they counted my money, on weather or not I was ready for a real phone, and they agreed, since I have straight A’s, I’m in the gifted program, I’m the best player on my basketball team, I make my own money and spend it responsibly, and that I was willing to pay for it entirely, which meant that I would know how important and expensive my device was, so I could treat it better. Actually, when I was 10, my grandma was willing to pay to get me a phone for Christmas, but she asked my parents, and they said that was unnecessary. Every parent reading this, I consider getting your child a phone at the age of 10-12, but over 13 is out of the question.
Teen, 13 years old written by James63212

I would completely agree I got a iPhone 11pro for my 8th grade graduation this year and it was a little late but I have a iPad and laptop so I was OK I would say 12 is the right age.
Teen, 13 years old written by icecream21

I'm 13 too and i don't get bullied but i get left out and i am pretty much slowly fading from my friends and everyone else because of these new trends on apps i have all A's and B's i haven't not listened to my parent's since 6th grade even all the really good kid's in my school have phones people will sometimes ask me for my snap or my phone number and after i tell them i don't have one they either shrug and walk of or they tell me their sorry for me and no mater what i say or do my parents come up with a reason for why i can't have one yet one time my mom told me if i saved up enough money to buy a iphone 6s she would get it for me but after i saved up enough money she told me she didn't think that i would actually do it. i guess you technically wouldn't be depriving your child but please at least get them one when they get into 8th grade because that's when it really starts to matter to other kids if you have a phone or not and before you know it you get left out on everything sorry but i just really had to say something one last thing though saying that a lot of kids don't have one that is the total opposite
Teen, 13 years old written by BazBurnside10

All I have is an iPad Air 2 and an iPod 5. It’s a very real thing that if you don’t have a phone, you are essentially just a walking stiff in school because, if anyone asks for your number (especially if it’s a girl or guy) it’s pretty sad when you say “I don’t have a phone” and they typically say something along the lines of “I feel bad for you” or “Why won’t your parents let you get a phone?” My parents are kind of old-school in a sense because it’s the kind of deal that if I want something, I have to pay it by myself. I don’t think it’s depriving per se but it definitely affects your kids social status. I think that kids should get phones at ages 10 - 12 but 13 - 14 years old is over the line STUPIDITY
Teen, 13 years old written by Pandora1334

I'm 13 and get bullied and teased because I don't have a phone. I get straight A's at school and they won't even bye me one! I had a Samsung 5 and it wasn't even new it was my sister's and then my other sister's. All my other classmates have a phone except me! I completely disagree that it doesn't deprive your kid. I don't know what's happening on Instagram and all the trends and get bullied! It's so unfair that my sisters have phones but not me.
Teen, 13 years old written by Geez_Dude

Are you depriving your kid if you don't get him/her an iphone? No. Kids claim they get bullied for not having an iphone, and while it is happening in some schools/environments, the bullies should know that judging someone based on what clothes they wear/what phone they use is the most shallow thing anyone can do to someone. If your child HAS to get that iphone and they won't take no for an answer, make them save for one. If they have money for one and you don't want to buy one because of the monthly plan, get an unlocked one that will work with any plan but isn't attached to one right out of the box.
Teen, 15 years old written by nathaniel112

I’m not gonna say it’s depriving your child. But in a way your child can feel that way. I’m almost 15 and my friends all have iPhone XS and 11 s and I have a 6s. Christmas just passed... it upset me I didn’t get one. I’ve had the same hand me down for 3 years. My parents had it for 2 and were over it. 5 years old, we are a wealthy family and I’m sure they can afford it. They just don’t want to. I’m in high school. I don’t think it’s fair. And I’m not saying get these 8-11 yr olds phone but when your kid is off and you trust them alone with their friends you should trust them with an object. But what I mainly want to advise you parents not to do.. don’t tell your kid they might be getting a phone for an event. My parents have done that ever since I was 12. I always got so excited I was finally getting a new phone but I always got the same things. Never a phone. but it hurts you tell all your friends you might be getting a new phone that doesn’t die every 10 minutes just to find out the next week your stuck with the same phone for another year. I’d rather not get a phone than get all that excitement and then just be let down again. I go everywhere with my friends and I have to bring my dads work phone because mine doesn’t work. Now I’d like all parents to keep in mind this is a different time we live in, kids are A LOT meaner and things have changed since whenever you were our age. So I’m not saying get your kid a phone. Understand them, empathise. And if you then realise how bad they may possibly need a phone. Please don’t let them down.
Teen, 13 years old written by loliedoom

I used to be one of the kids who make fun of people without iPhones. I was very wrong. It really doesn't matter what phone you have. However, often most Android users still get shamed at for not having an Apple. Now I have a Galaxy S9. Just buy your kid whatever device you find suitable or if they dont particularly need a phone yet, wait a little while, or have them buy it.
Kid, 10 years old

I’m ten and all my friends besides me and one other have phones. I have 15 friends and out of those 13 have phones while me and another friend don’t. That friend isn’t close. Out of the 13 who have phones 7 have 11s and 11pros. Most got them for Christmas 2019 even though a principals email clearly stated not to get a phone for you child for Christmas but, of course parents don’t listen. The email also stated that you shouldn’t buy a phone for your child until 8th grade minimum. I am very depressed because all my “friends” are kind of bragging about their new 11s. Someone please help
Kid, 10 years old

You don't need an iPhone. Bullying is happening a lot less then adults think it is. I have NO iPhone in a school full of 6 yr olds w/ phones, and bullying is nonexistent. I have a laptop, which I say is better than a phone.
Teen, 16 years old written by 1776American

This is ridiculous! If you don't have an iPhone, or no phone at all, and people bully / tease you, throw these two words at them: So what? You can add on to that if you wish. If that doesn't work, tell a teacher or trusted adult about the situation.
Teen, 13 years old written by yesudoneedaphone

OK bro you sound like some parent saying that you dont need a phone its not ridiculous a ton of kids have phones and use them to text there parents when there out with friends and other usefull things so yes we do need phones you dont no what your talking about so pls dont leve comments like that
Adult written by Tm2015

I disagree. You do not NEED a phone. Yes lots of children have phones and yes they are useful for a lot of things. However, NEEDING a phone is ridiculous. Perhaps your parents should not allow you to go out with your friends, thus making the need to text them nonexistent. Or, borrow a friends phone to shoot a quick text. But I'll bet coming at your parents saying you NEED a phone won't get you far. I'd start with please and what chores can I do?
Teen, 16 years old written by samveece

ATTENTION: If you are getting bullied, honestly do what I do. I act like I like the Samsung Galaxy, and try to bring up reasons why you dont want a iPhone. You could say they dont have a good screen definition (Samsung S8 has better screen then iPhone XR) you could say you dont feel like getting your phone slowed down just because a new phone came out (apple slows down older phones), you could say you like having access to apps, where as Apple only limits apps the make and approve. Reply if you need help!
Teen, 13 years old written by pb_ j

Do you have any more reasons? I really just want to start acting like I have one :\
Teen, 14 years old written by teen musician

I don't have the same situation- my parents have told me I can't get a phone until I submit my college apps. I'm responsible and get straight A's. They won't listen to anything I say. What should I do? People tease me about it and I actually need it for school.
Kid, 11 years old

No. Buy your child a flip phone if they only need to make texts and calls. If they will be doing school projects and such on their phone, buy them a cheap but working Android. iPhones are great to have, but you wouldn't be depriving your kid by not getting him/her one.
Teen, 14 years old written by i really want a...

I have been reading a lot of these comments, and I agree with most of them. My parents both have Samsung notes, and they gave me a galaxy s9 plus almost a year ago. Last year, I didn't really care that everyone else had an iPhone and that I had a Samsung, but entering high school changed that. The first day of school, I didn't go on my phone at all because I didn't want people to think that I was weird because of my phone and then not talk to me. I know this sounds very exaggerated, but that is the way kids are. If you have a phone that isn't an iPhone, people judge you and that's just the way it is. Now, it is almost been a full semester, and I still don't go on my phone at school very much. The most I go on my phone is when it is hidden under a table and I am just checking my grades or replying to my friends. Even my friends tease me about my phone, and sometimes it doesn't even feel like teasing... it's almost like they are making fun of me. One of my friends always seems to bring my android into the conversation. On our way to class a while ago, we were talking about our grades, and she asked me what I had in Geometry. Of course, I didn't want to take my phone out in the middle of the hallway, so I told her I didn't know. Then, this is what she said, "Why don't you pull out your little android and tell me?" I got really uncomfortable and honestly, my eyes started to tear up. It really sucks when people make fun of my phone because my parents hate iPhones and told me they weren't going to get me one. I tell this to my friend every time she makes fun of me, but she just doesn't care. I still have an android and she likes to make fun of it. For black Friday or cyber Monday, I am really hoping to get an iPhone. I am writing a speech for my parents and making a slideshow. If you are in a similar situation as me, I suggest that you try to make them remember what it was like when they were in high school. I am bringing up some of the things that all of "the cool kids" had when they were in school. Some examples are a Sony Walkman, leg warmers, multiple swatch watches, ghetto blasters, Atari gaming stations, and big hair. Hopefully my parents will finally be able to see my side of our never-ending debate over iPhones and will agree to let me get one so I can fit it. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that most of the kids at my school have iPhones. In most of my classes, I am the only one with an android and I am the only one in my friend group with an android. After doing some research as well, I found out that 82 percent of teens in America have iPhones, and my parents make me feel like an outsider and an outcast when they forbid me from having an iPhone. Hopefully my comment helped you and I hope your parents will let you get an iPhone, even if mine won't.
Adult written by Tm2015

I'm curious why it makes such a difference to have an iPhone? Maybe it is the area you live in? My 2 oldest are in high school and one has android and one has apple. The most common form of harassment they get is the same as my friends and I. "Apple is garbage, or android sucks". Perhaps you could comeback with something witty about how mature and responsible teens use android because it's much too complicated for the average kid. JMO. Either way though, kids shouldn't be bullying about something so ridiculous as a phone. Smh
Teen, 13 years old written by James63212

Basically people think it is a Status symbol and it really isn’t I can afford to have a iPhone so I have one but basically I just like the iOS operating system better.
Teen, 13 years old written by pb_ j

You know, this actually sort of helped. I still feel like an outsider for not having one, but I live with my grandfather. I do think that bringing this up and talking about 'cool kid's and what people actually do and say to people who don't have phones of the ' right ' kind. But I do think that even if I don't get an iPhone I will still be happy to get a phone. But that you
Teen, 13 years old written by HockeyBoy72

Im 13 turning 14 in two weeks. I got my first phone 4 months ago and it was a Nokia 2v(around $40), with 8 gb of storage. I am the smartest person in my class even though I skipped a grade. I am doing Algebra 2 honors(a junior level class) as an 8th grader age. My social life was horrible without a phone. I still have a lot of friends at school, hockey, and xc but it was so embarrassing not having a phone. My parents can easily afford a phone and I offered to pay for one but they didn't budge for 4 years. If you are considering getting your yound child a phone (10 and under) DONT. They dont need one. Buy them a smart watch able to call on because having a phone too early will also destroy their childhood. Once your child is in 6th grade you should definetely get them a n iphone 6 or better. I broke my crappy phone and went a month before my parents finally got me the 6 last night. Android phones are mortifying to kids. The extra 100 dollars is worth it unless you want your kid to get made fun of. Android phones are fine but if your kid wants a lot of friends, get them an iphone.
Teen, 13 years old written by

I know I'm late here, but I think I can make you change your mind about iPhones. Most kids say that they get bullied or teased by another children for not having an iPhone. It's true. It happens. Having an off-brand phone in a middle-class school or more isn't a problem, the real problem is that children nowadays socialize in a more complicated way, we don't just see you have a good personality and become your friends with you afterwards, we judge. A thing that takes part of the judging is your phone. In the US, Canada, Europe, or in specific private schools in Latin America, etc, people have money. By the way, I'm not generalizing here, 'cause I know that poverty exists, and I'm well aware of that, but even in middle-class schools, people have money, they're not rich, they're not poor, but they can manage themselves, sometimes, a little too much. What do I mean by a little too much? They afford to buy themselves a treat, a holiday, or an expensive phone. As you can see, in the paragraph I said I was generalizing, and the wrong thing about this is that, in fact, most people afford to live an iPhone-based lifestyle, but others don't, and is what kids are led to believe, that you aren't like most people, you own a cheap android, you're poor, and of course, that's definetly not true, but it's how parents raise their children, so yes, buy your kid an iPhone, but teach them that this is a treat, because they deserved it, they did well in school, they did choirs, and they earned it, don't make them think that an iPhone makes them feel superior, tell them that it's something that will help them continue with the process. Raise your child to be different, 'cause most of us kids are led to believe that having an iPhone is the automatic way of showing that you have money, you're rich, but make them see that it's not because of the money that they earn things, but for effort. In conclusion, if your child deserves an iPhone and you can afford it, give it to them, but explain to them why you're doing it.
Adult written by Tm2015

Well said kid. I get what you were trying to say about and iPhone lifestyle. I teach my children that no matter what kind of thing they have or how much it cost that it's a reward or luxury. Children should be taught more about their families lifestyle and others. Teaching the value of a dollar and wages and taxes and inflation etc has been outdated, thus leading to the "iPhone" lifestyle as you put it. Pass your knowledge around kid, you're definitely on the right track!
Kid, 9 years old

My parents didn't buy me a phone for a long time. I actually understand why, I was a bit too young, I would probably do stupid things on my phone, so Instead of a phone they bought me a tablet, my mom gave me her old Nokia phone when I was 6 to call her, as I was starting school at that age. When I got 7, my parents bought me a smartphone. I've never had an iPhone, and probably never will. I feel like I'm so used to android that switching to ios would probably be a really bad idea. If your kid is 5 or older, you should probably at least buy the old Nokia phone, when he's about 7, you should buy him a smartphone, maybe set a budget but let the kid choose. He might want an iPhone because iPhones have some more things than Androids, but I think you should buy him a phone.
Teen, 13 years old written by Just_NO

If you decide to get your child a new iphone not your old one yet they are going to a public school, you are depriving them. There education is better than the 'NEWEST IPHONE'. If you do get your child one you are depriving them because they think they are better than there friends (me!) with an iphone 6 and ditch you for the people with Iphone x's. But all of a sudden a newer iphone comes out but their parents can't afford it and all of their new friends can. They get left behind and come running back to you. Luckily I let her come under my wing again so we are once again besties even though I have a 6 I think it makes your kid a better person and understand not everything comes from a credit card. It must be earnt. THX
Teen, 15 years old written by Fhkj

I'm going into 9th grade and I'm the only person my age that doesn't have a phone or any personal technological device. I was the only kid in my middle school without a phone and I'll probably be the only person in high school too. My friends both in and out of school have phones. As a result, I feel left out. I've resorted to social media behind my parents back (not cool​, I know, but there's only so much being on the outside I can take) but you can't​ do a lot on a computer that's not even yours. When my friends make plans, they can't contact me or ask when I'm available. My parents say that I should just use email, but let's be honest, who even uses an email. Having my friends text my mom is absolutely mortifying. Additionally, been a lot of cases where I've been lost or alone and had no way to contact my parents. Group projects are also frustrating. I'm going to have a 20 minute walk to school this year as hopefully my parents will let me get a phone. Many people have asked why I don't have a phone and many of them imply that were too poor to get one (absolutely not true, but we live in a well off community). It's frustrating and embarrassing to explain that I can't just ask for one because my mom. Just. Won't. Let. Me. Have. One. If you are a parent and your kid is in 7th grade or up please consider getting them a phone. It not only helps their social lives (everybody has them, it's not even an exaggeration at this point) it's also crucial for school and safety.
Teen, 13 years old written by Kebab_

I have an iPhone 6. That may not sound bad, but it's hell. My mom first Got an iPhone 6 in 2014 for herself. She had it for 3 years and gave it to my sister who had it for 2 and a half years, and then to me, the youngest sibling. The iPhone 6 being 5 years old is not good performance wise. Through the years the phone has gone through cracks, shatters, repairs, replacements, damages, dints and more so it was kind of a disaster from the start. I have a history with old, broken phones. My first phone was an iPhone 4 in 2016, then a 5s last year and a 6 in February this year. All 3 of these phones had performance issues as well as a bad battery. THE DAY I upgraded to the 6 it booted up and shut off. Great. So since February to now it has not been the greatest experience. The 6 stops getting updated in September so I have asked and asked for a new phone. My birthday was last week so I was going to get my money from that. Luckily I have a big family and on average receive around $500 each year. You may be saying "when I was a kid I got $20 and a lego set". I'm not spoilt. I know my manners and know how to avoid typical teen situations like peer pressure and "trying to fit in" I know all that's bs so I ignore it. Anyways, the family comes around tomorrow so after some discussion with my parents they have agreed to an upgrade. Nothing like an xs or even an xr, but like a 7 or an 8 which I am happy with. My point is, to any parents having their child begging for an upgrade, do it when it either - Starts showing its age (iPhone 5 and under) - Has / will stop getting updates. ( an iPhone stops getting updated after around 5 years after its first release. This year (2019) 4 iPhones will stop getting updated. These are the iPhone 5s, iPhone 6, iPhone SE and the iPhone 6s, so if your child is over 12, and has a phone below a 6s, I do recommend getting an upgrade) - If it stops working ( This usually happens when a phone has either had I big fall or has fallen into water) This can be a serious issue, especially when trying to keep in contact. Say you need to call them for something important, but their phone won't turn on. What are you going to do? They can tell you where they are! Now peer pressure is a whole different story. If your kid has an old phone and gets made fun of at school, maybe come to some kind of deal with homework, chores, ect. and their prize is an upgrade, or something like that. No one likes getting bullied, so please parents do not brush it off like its nothing. Lastly if you do not exactly have the money for a new one, you can always buy one from websites like eBay and other websites. They can be a little risky, but you can find a good deal out there. This is advice. If your kid NEEDS and upgrade I do recommend upgrading. OH I FORGOT! If you have old iPhones laying around, you can trade them into apple. an iPhone 6 is worth maximum $155, 5s is max $105, 4s is max $75, 4 is max $45, and so on...
Teen, 14 years old written by general_ken_obi

Kid you're lucky. I own a phone worse than yours and I'm fourteen years old. My sister, who is 16, has an iPhone 6 and is thankful for it. The best thing I have is a iPhone 4 without a sim card. I'm even in one of the gifted programs at my school. I'm not in Africa, I get what you mean by all the other kids have good phones. But you don't really need it. I would love to be in your situation. Oh and I turn 15 in 2 months.
Teen, 13 years old written by Yo Fam

YES! I do think you are depriving your kid if you dint get them an iPhone. I have a Samsung Galaxy S5 and it's terrible. The Messaging app has a ghetto set-up and the phone itself just looks ugly. All of my friends make fun of me for not having an iPhone, and this isnt just me. IF YOU KID DOES NOT HAVE AN iPHONE, THEY COULD GET BULLIED. i have lost some of my friends because i dont have an iPhone and now im getting lead into depression because my everybody has an iPhone. iPhones look better, have better security, have a better built in messaging app (iMessage), better EVERYTHING. I would never imagine in a million years someone would think android is better than apple. PLEASE LISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I AM DESPERATE, if your child asks for an iPhone, please get them one...this is insane to say but to be honest i feel like an iPhone is my last hope, cuz i got nothin :/
Kid, 11 years old

lucky im not aloud to get any smart phone until im 21 and my mom said she will get me a flip phone when im 16
Teen, 15 years old written by Cherry_2004

Before I get into this I just wanna point out that most of the "high status" students in my school own Motorolas and the brand is more common among the school aswell.(although the new Galaxy model might take over soon) Anyways, no, I don't understand why everyone wants an iPhone. There are nicer phones out there and apple products usually seem overpriced anyway. In my opinion, most of your money is paying for the apple logo on the device. If your kid really wants an iPhone then he should work for it.
Teen, 13 years old written by Gamer88

I think it depends on how responsible you are, I am 12, almost 13, and in 6th grade, and I have the iPhone X, Most of my friends also have an x, Xr, xs, or something along those lines. We mostly use our phones for texting, and playing games, Also social media, In my school if you don’t have a phone you feel very left out. So i do think you are depriving your kid by not getting them a phone.
Teen, 15 years old written by Andy C

I say no, because usually it’s when the kid gets to the right age then the parents decide they can have a phone. I of rum first phone when I was 13 which was an iPhone 5. I asked my parents for a new phone a year later and they said I had to buy it, which I thought was fair. Eventually the got enough money and bought the iPhone 6 when I was 14. So I think that you should at least get your kid a phone when they are mature enough.
Teen, 16 years old written by itz_el

Of course not, i got my mom's old $50 phone at age 14 (first year of high school), and I'm not complaining because I know that an iphone is expensive. Before that I had a tablet that my mom had a password on, so I couldn't use it unless she approved.
Teen, 14 years old written by ellemiller

I'm 14 now. When I was 10, I got an iPod for Christmas (my birthday is in January, I was almost 11). Then, before my 12th birthday, (at 7th grade) my parents said i could get an iphone if I buy it myself. Well, my birthday is really close to Christmas so I used all my birthday and Christmas money and bought myself an iPhone 6s. By the time I was 12, I had a friend (age 14) who had an Xs (Christmas present from parents), a friend (14) who had an 8, my crush (13) had an iPhone 8 (however he got that for his 13th birthday and previously had an Android),a friend (12) who went through an 6s and 7 in a year, another friend (13) who had a 4, and a friend (12) who had an Android tablet. So you aren't depriving your kids by being iphone less but keep in mind they will feel freaking left out cuz most of their friends have iPhones. I'm 14 now and have an 8...
Teen, 13 years old written by Halle Sutter

i have an iphone 6 now, and ive had it for awhile. it really doesnt work well. dropped it in the toliet, and the battery is horrible. i honestly think if your kid is asking for a new phone and that they are responsible enough to buy it for them. kids are constantly bullied for not having a good phone, or other things. its a status symbol, but i think it would make kids way happier if they were given a chance with a new phone, and you can always sell it somewhere else if needed! iphone XR,X,XS max have longer lasting batteries as well. most of my friends have the newest phone,and i feel left out alot
Teen, 13 years old written by insanethinker

Phones are needed for class. For example, the teacher will "pull out your phone". As one of the only people in my class who do not have a phone, it feels kind of embarrassing and humiliating to not be able to take out a phone and do whatever activity the teacher has planned for that day. Also, there are some students who only have a flip phone that they can't really do things on. Not everything we do on out phones is playing games and whatnot. There are multiple homework group chats in my school that actually help students learn the course material. Although not everyone needs a very fancy iPhone x, we need a phone in order to be a functioning member of the class. Also, stop underestimating our self-control abilities. Just because our frontal lobe hasn't completely formed yet doesn't mean we can't make smart decisions. It is true that we can't make certain decisions at this age, but a decision that we can make is when to use a phone and when to put the phone away.
Teen, 15 years old written by mylife573

Most likely. Not just because they will feel left out but because they may actually be bullied because they don't have a phone. It happened to me. Also, despite what people think, we use technology for almost everything in school. All of our essays, projects, and assignments are done online and we have a lot of online tests too. I think your child needs a phone in 6 or 7th grade but before you get it, make you talk to your kid about the agreement. For example: No bringing it to the dining table, no watching TV for more than an hour on weekdays, etc. Don't abuse your power and don't try to control them. Let them make their own choices and they will learn.
Kid, 11 years old

Yes, I do believe that not getting your kid a phone is depriving them. I'm a Year Seven (I'm English), and right now the social side of school is hell. I have amazing friends who appreciate that I can't contact them outside of school (I have no phone) and it's literally killing me. I have issues with my mental health, part of which come from this topic. I think it's outrageous that people already have iPhone X and XR. It's friggin' crazy. I understand if the person had worked very, very hard, and their parents are monitoring their history browsing and all that, but that isn't happening. I get teased for not having a phone. I have an iPod so I can listen to music, but I get made fun of for that. I can't join in with my friends at school, but they are still considerate (Love you Mel, Kat, Jack, Anne) towards me. I try to convince my parents that I can handle the responsibilities of having a phone, but they're not convinced. They read all these sad article where a kid has a phone, they chat to strangers, meet them, get raped, killed, kidnapped, all that, what has you. I understand that my parents only have 1 son and 1 daughter (me), but sometimes being overprotective isn't good. My parents a few months ago caught me out on self-harming. I was taken to the GP, I have therapy sessions, I talk to the Mental Health Advisor at school. They all think it's strange how my parents refuse to give me a phone. They offered me a flipohone, which I kindly turned down as I would get bullied for it. They tell me I'll get a phone in Year 10. I don't want anything expensive. Just my Mum's old 5s. Anything's nice for me. But, hey. Everybody's entitled to their own opinions. I respect that.
Teen, 13 years old written by A male teen

I didn’t have a phone til I was 12 no I have an iPod with can’t go without WiFi and I get mad fun of for it thats the part parents don’t believe but it’s true I can say something and said child says Shut up you don’t even have a phone
Teen, 13 years old written by Jacob Engen

I’m 13 and don’t have a phone, I get bullied and made fun of. Get your kid a phone, nobody should have to be bullied cause of this. Im high-middle class and I can afford one myself (without my parents paying) but they say I’m not old enough. I tell them I get bullied and that I feel left out, but they don’t understand cause they didn’t have them when they were younger. I don’t know what to do, everyday I’m super depressed and I cry all the time cause of this
Teen, 13 years old written by Silas47

I have a tablet and a computer and I am 13. I feel that I should have a phone but nothing crazy. My mom might get a new phone and she would give me her iPhone 6. To me the is a big deal. Their are kids that are asking for iPhone As Xs that are 1000+ dollars. What's the point? Anyway I expect them to have a contract but, if I could have a Instagram, Snapchat and tiktok that would be awesome but, would they let me? I installed tiktok but I didn't create an account and some 13ish girls showed them selves vaping. I consider my self to be mature but, if a 10 year old saw this they might look up those people and soner or later they will probably be vaping. Anyways if your going to get your kid an iPhone probably 13 or 14 for 6 or7 but if their asking for an eight or a Xwait till 16 and make them pay for part of it.
Adult written by Daisychain

I'm writing to share what feels like an amazing success story for out family on the iPhone issue. It began last night when I spent several hours reading through the comments that have been posted here. I was facing a difficult decision whether to buy my daughter an iPhone, and the sincere thoughts, opinions, emotions, and detailed stories posted here by parents and especially the kids, was just what I needed to help me decide. I sincerely appreciate the time and effort you gave to post and help others understand this complicated issue, and thought the best way I could thank you was to share my story too. Here was my situation: My 16 year old daughter's phone died three days ago. Since we long ago decided she needs a phone for safety reasons, a replacement had to happen quickly, but what kind of phone? She instantly began lobbying for an iPhone es Max (of course) my position was there was absolutely No Way were we going to spend almost $1200.00 on a phone!! Ridiculous! Why did it have to be an iPhone? Why does it have to be the newest one? We're not rich. Think of all the other things we could spend the money on.. you can imagine most of the other things I said and that she said too, a totally classic parent teen iPhone conflict. My starting position in round one of the battle was " A nice $200.00 to $400.00 Android would be just fine and even that was more than she needed." Her position was " All my friends have iPhones, half of them have already upgraded to the Max, she absolutely NEEDED it, and nothing else would make her happy. She "knew" we could afford it, she worked hard at school and sports, never got into trouble, and if she didn't get one , her life would be ruined. After 20 minutes of this we both retreated to regroup. She went to her room to cry, and I came here looking for answers :) I need to give you some quick background here: In grade school we decided we wanted her to have some way to contact us in an emergency and got her a cheap flip phone. She was very responsible with it and made all A's that year, so she was able to talk us into adding an Ipod for Christmas. In our town parents started to buy their kids iPhones in middle school. I thought spending that much money on a child's phone was nuts! I remember going to a birthday party at one of her 7th grade friends houses. The parents had just given the birthday girl the newest top of the line iPhone. We found her down in the basement using the brand new $800.00 phone as a ping pong paddle! It really disturbed me. Obviously she had no respect, appreciation or understanding of what her parents had just done for her. More than that, she was showing off with it in front of the other kids in a pretty disgusting way, and something in her grin as she pounded the ball with the screen of her newest "toy" seemed to be saying **** you Mom and Dad. I decided then and there that buying a middle school age child a phone like that was not necessarily a good thing, and actually had the potential to teach them some pretty bad values. I've watched this girl grow up and I'm sorry to say she's not turning out too well. Hope it changes. Anyway, we bought our daughter a low priced Android smart phone in 8th grade. It wasn't what she wanted, but she dealt with it. She's a good kid and I want her to be happy. I feel deeply that this means teaching her good values like: work hard, spend your money wisely, focus on what's truly important in life, don't be influenced by what everyone else is doing, do what you know is right, be a good person, do your best in school, go to college, get a job doing something you love= have a happy life. Then her Grandfather, out of the blue, without asking or any warning, gave her a new iPhone 6 for her 14th birthday! What could I say? No you can't have it, give it back? This time I was the one who had to just deal with it. I wasn't happy about it, but didn't say much. She knew how I felt, but of course was ecstatic with the phone. OK, this is the one that died 3 days ago. Last night reading all these posts, trying to decide what replacement phone she would get, I realized I had missed something important. I hadn't fully understood the social aspects of having not just a decent smartphone, but what owning an iPhone means for a teen in 2019. Some of the posts accused parents of not understanding what it was like to be a kid. The first one I read made me think "Yeah, sure, wrong! I was a teen too, I remember. But as I read more and more posts from kids, it really started to come back to me the pain I felt at times in middle and high school. The one that really got through was from the 13 year old boy who wrote about being teased and used the word "brutal". It was weird, but suddenly I felt a physical pain in my chest like an echo coming back out of my past. I HAD forgotten. It really does HURT. Thanks for helping me remember and understand the situation better kid, you're a really good writer. OK, I had all your posts read, and had a much better feeling for where my daughter was coming from and also the different ways other teens and parents were handling this. I realized there was no one "right" answer, and it was my job to figure out the best solution for my particular teen and family - I was ready for round 2 of the great iPhone battle. We had a snow day today, so while my daughter was sleeping late I got one more opinion, I called my Dad. He used to be a High School principal and worked in Education all his life and is very understanding and wise. After I explained everything and asked for his opinion, he shocked me. Without hesitation he said "Get her the absolute best, newest iPhone and use it to bargain with to get everything out of it you possibly can". Holy Cow Dad! So not what I expected!! So, here's what happened... As soon as she got up we started bargaining. She had no idea I'd ever even consider the es Max. She was totally sure her fate was going to be Android with a very slim glimmer of hope for maybe an iPhone 6. I wasn't sure about anything at this point either. She talked, I listened. I used quotes from you guys to help me field her arguments, show that I respected her point view, and to keep things positive. I told her about the post from the brave high school boy who defended his choice of a non-iPhone when his friends criticized him by saying he'd paid for the phone himself, he stood by his decision, and he didn't care what they thought. That really impressed her. Together we explored all the pros and cons of getting an iPhone vs Android, peer pressure, the value of money, i message, face time, our family budget, cell phone addiction and a 100 other things we'd needed to talk about for a while, not just phones. We both got a little heated at times, but nothing serious. We started writing a contract. We started joking that it was like Trump bargaining with the Democrats for the wall. We started to have fun! I couldn't believe how positive the whole thing turned out. The contract ended up being two pages long! She wrote the whole thing and started adding things on her own... I made out like a bandit. I can't share everything, some of it's too personal and would embarrass her, but some highlights - She is going to give the dogs baths and brush them every other weekend. Instead of vacuuming the stairs which she hates, she'd much rather clean the bathrooms! Sweet! Reasonable phone-free family times were agreed on. Evening phone-off times firmly set at 8 pm school nights, 11 pm Saturdays (those had always been kind of vague) She actually demanded we install the 360 app so we can keep track of her at all times! She decided to radically cut down phone contacts to reduce volume of texts/ social media obligations. Officially decided phone care and anti-theft strategies. About 10 private family things that we've been squabbling about for years were settled. And ...saving the best for last is... she is going to get her first job, has it lined up already, and WANTS to pay me back in installments for the entire phone! Never expected that one :) !! We are both really happy, which I didn't think was possible yesterday. Good luck finding your own personal best solution.
Adult written by Tm2015

I LOVE THIS POST!!!! Still curious after reading so many posts if there really is something to location being a factor in this debate.... My children and I have a similar tactic as far as using the phone to get everything I can lol. They get new devices every other year. I give them the amount I can spend on all 4 of them total and the bargaining begins. No matter what though, school attendance is required and is their responsibility, honor classes only with an average of B PERIOD! Chores done to my satisfaction and everyone helps with the baby while I'm at work. Bargaining begins with chores(they choose their chores and are responsible for checking behind one another.) They also have different styles so they bargain amongst themselves too, my 16yr old may get a cheaper phone so the 14 yr old can get a more expensive one. BUT they do extra chores or swap chores or babysitting. Also, the higher the GPA the more I try to save. If they have kept old phone in good condition where it can be traded or sold the value of new phone goes up. I have found phones to be amazing threats, promises, rewards and punishments. I do completely understand how these kids feel about what type of phone, so we try to upgrade with that in mind too. But my 12 yr old and 16 yr old care not so they typically stay a couple versions behind and allow my 14yr old to get the newest iphone. Until my 14yr old hit middle school i didn't know what a deal it was!! My oldest, a girl, didn't care at all. She was usually one or 2 version behind(it was iPhone though) but she preferred apple software and was more comfortable with it. My 14yr old lmk it HAD to be iPhone or nothing. These kids will leave their phones at HOME so no one sees them if it isnt "the" right iphone. Only a few select kids knew what my 14yr old had until we upgraded him. It's a shame it's such a deal but I try to use it to teach, value of money, saving, hard work, reward, software, research etc. I love the approach u took with ur daughter and I hope everyone gets a plan that suits their family and family budget.
Teen, 14 years old written by Americanhorror

Hey I’m a freshman in highschool and don’t have a iPhone. One thing I don’t think your not depriving your child but you should at least spend some money on a phone for them when they are of your choice of maturity and age. My mom hasn’t let me have a phone yet but till now she gave me a flip phone to see how I do then she will get me an iPhone. I don’t belive in giving your child a iPhone X or any thing more than 1000 dollars. Even if you can afford it just don’t ,not instantly. First of all if they want one maybe make them work for like good grades, do all chores,get homework done ect; Or maybe get them a handy down phone and see how they do. iPhones are a privilege to have not a right. Remember that your children has to deal with struggles of not having a iPhone. Mostly everyone of my friends has a smartphone or IPhone’s. This is a good way for your kid to keep in contact with friends and family . With iPhones you have better restricted systems so you can moneter what your child is doing. iPhones also are a good way for your kid to express themselves and become who they were meant to be. Sure it’s tough not having a phone have everyone stare at you when you say you don’t have a phone. Been there done that and it’s ok. What I said is I don’t need a phone and left it at that. They left me alone about because I told them it was my choice and show them it doesn’t matter if you have a IPhone. I know it hurts people make fun of you for not having one and that is wrong. Don’t decide to get a phone just because everyone else wants you to you decide and definitely your parents. All the parents out there need to know that it’s ok not to give your child an IPhone just yet but you should get them in the near future or any other smart phone. Also comfort your child when he or she is feeling sad for not having a IPhone and maybe tell them when they do get they will be happier and more great full for what they have. Love y’all hope this helped you :3
Teen, 13 years old written by Ghordon

To all these whiny children, stop saying it deprives kids not getting an iPhone. It’s up to the parents what you get not you. an iPhone X, Xs, Xs Max are all over a thousand dollars. You can’t blame your parents because they are poor or low on money or maybe your just being bad. If your child asked you for 1000 dollars would you give it to him/ her
Teen, 14 years old written by Lucential

This very question has been a sore point between me and my parents up until about 8 days ago. I am considered gifted (music, math, reading, latin, writing, science, problem-solving, coding, etc.) by many, and have recieved many honors (spelling bee, school honors committee) to the point where it has just become embarrassing. I also didn’t have a phone until christmas of 2018. So no, you are not depriving your children by not giving them a phone. However, like g11 (the reviewer below me), I did have an iPod with restrictions that I could text on. As kids grow older and enter high school, it’s better for them to have a phone, given the pressure to stay in touch with friends and the added responsibility of being able to go places on their own. However, if a child is just given a phone, without doing anything to earn it or having to wait for it, they don’t appreciate its value and don’t take as good care of it as they would it they had earned it. That being said, in this day and age, not having access to the internet or to friends through a device would be depriving kids of the necessary social development that now occurs through text and email. Restrictions on these devices are also important, so that your kid doesn’t waste thier life playing games or staring at their screen.
Teen, 13 years old written by TheRealNT

I'm 13 years old. Growing up I did not have an iPhone or any device for a long time. When I was 12 I was giving an iPhone 4 with no cellar which was great. My dad got it from a co-worker for free. My parents decided to give it to me because I got straight A's on my report card. I was very happy. The only catch was that my parents did not trust me so they put plenty of restrictions. Which was not good because any time I tried to talk to a tutor, I lost contact at 9. Eventually, my phone broke and I got rid of it. By the time I went into 8th grade my parents still refused to get me a phone, even though I had very high grades. I was sad because I could not keep in contact with friends and I kinda was different from the crowd. During the summer before I decided to make some money from a gardening business I had. Most things I have I buy with my own money, anyways I was phoneless for a while. One day though I was left at school till exactly 6:54 Pst which sucked. I was sick of it. After that, my dad gave me his old iPhone 6 that had a lot of issues. I was still happy because a phone is a iphone. Only thing though was during school it would die very fast, so I could not call to check when I was getting picked up. I brought it to a store which said that the phone was trash. Apparently, the phone had an issue with the board so nothing could be fixed. I was sick of having no phone for a while. So I gathered the money I had which in total was about $2300 I made over the summer. Went to at&t and bought me a phone, XS Max. I traded in the old iPhone for $90 and went back home. When I arrived home and my parents say the phone they were amazed. I also gave them the $90 because it was there iPhone. They were super proud of me and said that they will pay for a cell plane. Of course, I was super i happy because this was the first time I had a real phone. Anyways they also said that the next phone, I get was gonna be on them. Anyways you should get your son or daughter a phone so they can talk to there teacher, you, 911, listen to an EAS warning and talk to there friends. Now you don't need to get them an unlimited plan, you could get them a simple 5gb plan. Just make sure before you buy them the phone look at there grades. My friend even though he goes f's mainly with some d's he still got a phone XR, and his grades dropped back to f's, and he got held back. But its good to get your child a phone for multiple purposes. You could also do what I did and save money and buy a phone cash. But parents at least get your kids an iPhone 7 or 7+ or higher so they can talk to you. Also, trust them and only put some restrictions. Note I used a grammar checker sorry if there are some broken parts I did my best...
Teen, 15 years old written by g11

I am 15 years old. My parents never gave me a phone until I earned it. At the end of 5th grade, I received an award from the president for academics. My parents didn't want me to have a phone at that age so they bought me an iPod touch. I was very grateful. There was no monthly bill, I could text other Apple devices while connected to wifi, games could be downloaded, and I could easily access the internet. I didn't have full control over my iPod, my mom had restrictions from the app store and safari. I had my iPod until the end of my 8th-grade year when I then received my second president's award for my academics. I was given the iPhone 8. I still had restrictions but at this point, my parents trusted me more so they were less strict. I do understand a phone is not something a child absolutely has to have but if you don't give your child an iPhone, from experience, it will be pretty rough on them. In middle school and high school that's the way kids stay in contact, we call each other for homework and make group plans. This day in age it would be very hard to have a lot of friends without a phone. In school kids can't talk to each other in class and when they get home they have no way of talking to their friends without a phone. Having a phone is also very useful for staying in contact with parents. Personally, I wish my parents weren't so strict about the restrictions on my phone, I think parents should be able to trust their kids. I get straight A's and stay out of trouble and if your kid is like that they should be rewarded for that behavior. I do think ALL kids should have a phone by 6th grade and depending on the kid you could set up stricter settings. At that age I think kids need to be able to contact their parents at that age.
Teen, 14 years old written by Cooper_James

Not giving your kid an iPhone is depriving them!! I am 14 years old and I just got an iPhone XS Max this summer before my first day of my last year of middle school! Most kids in my elementary school already had iPhones in like fourth grade!! I had to wait like a million stupid years for one!!! I only had my dumb iPad Air 2 and if I brought it to class for work everyone else were using there iPhones!! I had to wait so long for a phone!! Parents are not kids! They don’t know about our life!!
Kid, 12 years old

Cooper James, I really don’t see why you’re complaining, I have a iPad mini 2 and I don’t have a phone to use so I don’t see why using an iPad was even a problem, I love this iPad and is very useful, it may not fit in my pocket but it’s less expensive than a iPhone XS Max. I think I could even do without my iPad.
Teen, 16 years old written by strafe09

I worked for every phone I had. I always ended up with a budget android phone because I didn't want to waste the money I made in one summer for a phone. This time that I have a better job on holidays I might buy an iPhone.
Adult written by JEastham

Parents are not depriving their kids by not buying them an iPhone. If your kids think they are deprived then they should look at kids living in poverty in places like Africa or refugees coming from Afghanistan. They should consider themselves lucky to even have a phone in the first place. On the subject of owning an iPhone they are indeed expensive products that as a result should require a lot of care. Care that kids or young teenagers don’t provide because they likely don’t appreciate the value of the iPhone. I say this as an 18 year old teenager who has just dropped £700 for an iPhone 8 Plus. However that is £700 that I worked for and as a result I appreciate the value. I also speak from experience when I’ve gone through about 4 or 5 phones since I got my first phone at 12. Why because I was careless as it wasn’t my money being spent on the phones so I didn’t care. It’s only now as I’ve got older that I understand. There was another comment on here by a 13 year old that just came across as spoilt (no offence to this person but that’s just how it seemed). This person stated that their life was so hard as they had to use a low end budget Samsung Android Phone as punishment for loosing an iPhone 7. Well I’m sorry but serves them right. The iPhone 7 was and still is an expensive premium phone that would have burnt a massive hole in their parents wallet and they just go and loose it! I’m not surprised this person was punished in that way. Android phones run all the same apps as iPhones even low end models are often still quite capable phones it’s just they don’t have the same spec or hardware software integration that iPhones do meaning they might not be as fast, have as good a camera or be able to play the most graphically demanding games. Some higher end Android phones can sometimes be better then iPhones and come with many features that iPhones don’t have. Of course with Apple products you are paying for the label and the brand name. It’s like choosing to buy designer clothes rather then regular non designer brands. If your kid is being judged/teased at school by his peers for not having an iPhone then perhaps they should be re evaluating some of their friendships which if you ask me are more important then what phone they carry in their pocket. You can never substitute the value of human interaction with an electronic device something which I wish more people of my generation would understand. Bare in mind this is coming from a tech enthusiast. If your kid needs a phone and your not comfortable with spending stupid amounts on an iPhone then buy them an Android phone. I have used a Samsung Galaxy J5 2016 for 2 years before recently going iPhone. It is a budget Android device and I loved it. Sure it didn’t have the latest and greatest features that I would have liked but it was an absolute trooper of a phone! In some cases it could do things my iPhone can’t due to the flexibility and openness of the Android OS. Though bare in mind that as a result of this openness Android is less secure so make sure you install some kind of Malware protection software and of course monitor your kids online safety. Most kids want iPhones for the status symbol that owning one seems to have. As a result of this however your kids peers may use social features to interact with each other that are only available on iPhone such as iMessage group chat and FaceTime. If your kid doesn’t have one then they could find themselves excluded from this. This may be one of the main reasons as to why they want one. It is a small factor of why I bought one. Despite being a natural born tinkerer and Tech enthusiast that would more fit the profile of an Android user I bought an iPhone as I was curious to see what the other side was like and I can definitely see the appeal. They are faster and more intuitive then Android phones. (Make sure to install a cache cleaning app on Android phones to keep it running fast. If you don’t know what that is then google it) It boils down to what your final decision is as a parent. I just hope I’ve provided some useful information and tips for people that are looking to buy their kid a phone and are unsure what to buy them since their kid feels “deprived” for not having one and feels pressured into having one by their peers. Being a teenager I can completely understand why a kid would want an iPhone and how they would be feeling social pressure to get one. However no kid is “deprived” for not having one and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Poverty stricken people are deprived but not kids that have the privilege and the luck to own a phone in the first place. It comes down to the parents needing to make an informed decision on what is best for their child as well as for them financially. Do your research and watch Phone reviews on YouTube before you buy. Good luck and happy phone shopping!
Teen, 13 years old written by haileighxgresham

Yes you are!! I'm thirteen and I only just got the iPhone xs max. Before that, I had to use a Samsung galaxy J5 prime for over a year as punishment for loosing my first phone, the iPhone 7. Because I didn't have a iPhone, it made my life a lot harder because all my devices are apple, and I couldn't connect my phone to my Macs to upload notes and sync, and my iPad couldn't connect, and worst of all my beats wouldn't connect so I had to use the cable and plug it in. I really wish that my parents had gotten me a cheap iPhone instead of a Samsung because it just made my life so hard.
Teen, 14 years old written by evibear_11

Ok so, I’ve been reading all these comments and all I can say is it’s up to you. Think about it this way, it does not matter the maturity of your kid or even the age. For me, it matters on what you do. If your kid doesn’t go out a lot, doesn’t go places, no you shouldn’t get them a phone. If your kid goes everywhere, then maybe yes that’s a good idea. If you get your child a phone, don’t start off with a flip phone, that’s ridiculous. Get them an iPhone 5 maybe *do not spoil them with an iPhone X.* Personally, I got an iPhone 5S for Christmas at age 13. Yes I realize that all my friends had a phone before me, but that was because they had extra-curricular programs that required them to take a bus transit. At age 13, I was starting to go to movies and restaurants with my friends, so that’s why my parents thought getting a phone for me was a good idea. I wouldn’t say your depriving your kid, I would think you are waiting for the right time, and if your kid can’t understand that, then they most certainly shouldn’t get a phone. Hope this helps:)
Teen, 15 years old written by Never ever

This is actually the stupidest thing I’ve seen al day. What the hell parents hav no idea what kids ar like this is not your time this is a different era ok we hav different needs there is generations of new stuff flip phones are not that I hab been bullied for the past 5 years for not having a phone and I’m on,y 15 I don’t understand y parents can’t get it in their head that we are not them. And I bet none of you can truly understand because I know that I’m never ever gonna g t a phone and dep down in my heart that kills me becasu ik know my family can afford it bu they just want to bbe selfish leave me on and I go to this boarding school for people in poverty and everybody has a phone but me if feel left out and people call me names and it’s horrible don’t do this to ur child ... please pleas pleas no one should have to go through this hopefully someone can save me .... also don’t get a new one for your self that just rubs it in their face hopefully this helps for any young person.
Teen, 14 years old written by Lucential

Although I appreciate your thoughts, I would like to make you aware of some of the other points of view. I am currently 14, and haven’t had a phone for my entire life. I am fortunate enough that my family can afford to buy me a phone, but I appreciate their decision to leave it until now. It has made me a better artist and more athletic, because I have more time to do things I really enjoy. If you feel deprived by not having a phone, I have a few suggestions for you that I myself had to go through: A) Save up for a phone, so when you turn 18 (or whenever your parents let you buy a phone), you can have one immeadately B) Find a new hobby, so you have something that you can be proud of while still not having a phone C) Convince your parents to buy you an iPod, or an iPad, or something apple so that you can iMessage D) Make a goal with your parents so that when you achieve that goal (good grades, honors awards, etc.) you can have a phone E) Write a 5-10 page paper on why you should have a phone. This is what worked for me. If you write a properly sourced paper with accounts from experts that is spell checked and edited, you yourself will be made into an expert and it will be incredibly hard for your parents to argue with an expert on the subject. Good luck on getting a phone!
Teen, 15 years old written by Never ever

And the only reason why I can comment right now is becasu y moms iPad is her and she is letting me use it for an hour ad I was trying to find a su final method
Adult written by lolakennet

At my 9 year old's school, all the kids have phones. I got her the iphone X for christmas this year, and even though some people think 9 is too young, or that the iphone X is too expensive for a child, I think she is mature enough. I monitor her phone closely, but I'm not that big on limiting screen time.
Teen, 13 years old written by b-b-bruhmoment

I'm 13, turning 14 as of Dec. 2019, and I have an iPhone 5c with 5gb of storage and a camera in 480p15. I literally have had my mom's phone which she has for 3 years; for about 2 years now. I literally can't install anything, as Instagram takes up a lot of storage. I am a video editor in which case I have to import the video to google drive then download it onto my dad's iPhone 8 as I don't have storage (and I can't even download files from drive anyways). It's super frustrating, as most of the time my dad is working or t.d.y. (Military deployment). I have to use an emulator that emulates an Andriod device on my computer just so I can upload to Instagram and also have a thumbnail. But nope! The video becomes horizontally flipped whenever you upload with the emulator, meaning the only way to upload the video correctly is on a new iPhone. Most of the time I have to wait for my dad to get home for three hours, as I get home from school at 3 and he gets home between 5:30-6:30, or do it on my mom's phone. But it's seemingly obvious that she doesn't trust me with her phone (For literal no reason btw). I have almost all straight A's in 8th grade, only having a high B in social studies. I'm in honors algebra 1 (or 2 I don't remember) and find almost all of my classes boring. I'm on the school's robotics team and was last year as well. I played goalie and middle mid for soccer until we found out I tore my ACL (a ligament) in my left knee, needing to get surgery to fix it. As I mention, I come home from school; which I get up at 6 in the MORNING for, and do homework, any after school activities, chores, eat dinner, and shower just to repeat the cycle after I edit videos trying to earn enough money myself to get a better phone. My mom, keep in mind, has an Apple Watch (actually two, one broke), an IPad Air 2, iPhone 8, and 3 laptops (An old dell, a Surface Pro, and her work computer). She says she works and she has a job and etc, and that's why she is allowed to spend her money. She even says how if I really want it (as in a new phone) that bad, I should go get a job and earn money... But at the same time, I don't. Sorry no, I LEGALLY CAN'T! And I don't have a car, or data, or even a working LEG (Surgery was 3 month prior to this post and I am still in PT and recovering). I legitimately can only get money from anything that I do, such as editing, or anything offered to me. In which case the last 'job' my mom offered me was $5.00 to pick up like 300 spike ball tree seeds out of a rocky human-made mini creek that is in our front yard. And yes, I know our family isn't made out of money, but if she can watch TV then she (or my dad as he is a tech genius according to my mom even though they both have the same college certificate in computers) and I can take an hour a 2:30 AM to write this behemoth of a rant, then they can look at a getting me a new phone for at least little bit. I know you shouldn't keep nagging every day, but it's been two years, just gimme a new and better phone. The darn thing is almost half as old as me. I'm glad you understand my pain and that you got your son an iPhone 11, and hope he is aswell.
Kid, 12 years old

whats the point of an iphone x lmao. buy your kid a 8 or 7 or something not a 1000 dollar phone that performs like a nokia
Teen, 16 years old written by Lolcats

I’m glad I don’t know your kid because I haven’t even met her and I already know she’s spoiled and entitled
Teen, 15 years old written by Greasybacon

It is definately not depriving your kid of anything. They are costly, addictive, and the causes of many pitfalls. Phones of course also can be used for good such as communication with parents and tracking. It is better to give a phone to a younger kid than an older kid. Keep that in mind
Teen, 13 years old written by Itsnottrue

Yes, yes it is. Most people at my school barely talk to me because they only talk over IPhone, and barely anyone is able to talk to me over summer or breaks. And no, a large majority of childrenhave I phones
Teen, 13 years old written by supernova789

unfortunately i can relate to this. my parents wont get me a phone even though literally everyone else in my grade has a phone, and i even have straight a's. i can't talk to anyone else because they all text each other, and people mock me for not having a phone.
Teen, 14 years old written by saanvikk

Well, yes, but you're only considering the whiny reasons given by 10 year old kids. But the real reason people even wanted phones in the first place was safety. It's not easy growing up in a dangerous place like India, where thousands of children are attacked, raped or murdered every day. And it's the same sort of statistics in other countries too. A flip phone isn't enough, because calling for help attracts attention, and it's much safer to text. That, along with all the other reasons in the comments below, is why kids need smartphones.
Teen, 15 years old written by javid

I stumbled upon this post when scouring the internet about whether I should purchase a new phone or not? (more on that later) Anyways, I must first apologize to the parents viewing or that have viewed this comment section with the amount of comments I have seen that refer to a smartphone, especially an iPhone, as a necessity. Hate to tell it to you kids in this generation, but having a phone is a privilege and if you're under 18 you are under your parents jurisdiction and they, not you call the shots, on whether to get you a phone or not. However, I must say this is the 21st century and although I don't believe that parents should buy their kids an iPhone at such a young age especially grade school, I do believe a phone in general would help tweens/teens communicate with their parents in a much easier manner. Rather than, for example, after a sports practice, a parent is late to pick their child up and they are the last person at the park , so they try to find a phone to use to call their parents from a random stranger, that could possibly kidnap the child, if the child had a phone, it would be easy to contact their parents to let them know that maybe practice ended early or some situation like that. In either case, I believe that not only should responsibility and maturity (something that this thread is lacking) be taken into account when buying a teen /tween a phone, but also hard work. I believe if the child really wants a phone, let them have it, but don't buy it for them, let them buy it and pay for the extremities that come with it, such as paying for a cell phone plan. Now, I know this might not be feasible since a child cannot pay bills since they are under 18 years old, but there are many prepaid options that allow the child to purchase a prepaid card to refill their minutes and data. As a tech enthusiast, when I was little, I always wanted a phone, especially after the debut of the original iPhone in 2007. I ended up buying my first phone in 3rd grade after recycling a little bit of money to purchase a Nokia and a T-Mobile Pre-Paid Card. I continued paying for my plan by recycling and asking for people's old phones (as my upgrade). So, it is possible for a child to pay for their own phone and if they are responsible and preservering then they will undoubtedly want to keep up the hard work to have the privilege of owning a phone. I ended up getting an iPhone 4 in 6th grade by saving up all my birthday money and once again recycling to pay $450 for the phone. As a compromise, my dad paid for the data plan as he saw that I was responsible enough to have and own a phone. To this day, (now a sophomore in high school) I have bought all my phones at full price with my money or have been matched some money after saving up most of the money in order to buy a new phone. Not only does this teach me responsibility, but it also teaches me about managing money because currently I have the iPhone 6s and as a tech enthusiast I want to purchase a new iPhone 8 Plus, but I can't justify spending $800 when my phone works mostly fine. Now, regarding fitting in to the cool crowd. If that's what your worried about then you should be spending your own money and buying your own phone, because it isn't cool for your parents to "baby" you correct? Moreover, regarding that not having a smartphone causes bullying. I can say for certain that after being distracted with social media and my smartphone in general, I used a flip phone for a month non stop and yes people made comments and made jokes about it. However, I made it clear to them what the benefits of having it were and how my life was better without a smartphone and was very assertive about my opinion on my phone. After having an educated discussion, like so, my friends understood and didn't say anything about it. I'm now back to my smartphone of course, but I would totally use the flip phone again. Now parents, I plead with you to let your child have a phone, but don't buy it for them.
Adult written by Daniel K

I would not recommend an Android over an iPhone. Android has too many loopholes to parent control and monitoring. Safemode bypasses any apps parents installed. The phone can be factory reset too easily. There is a workaround to anything you monitor it with. The iPhone is pretty bullet proof with its "activation lock" feature. If your child tries to factory reset the phone to bypass filters, they'll hit a brick wall.
Kid, 12 years old

I'd recommend buying your kid an LG phone instead. They are less expensive and really nice
Teen, 13 years old written by goaliepowers

Guys, I am 13 years old. I am a mature kid. I don't need to feel accepted or be part of the "cool group" to be happy. KIDS DO NOT NEED PHONES unless they must have them to contact you. Whenever I need to contact them, I ask an adult that is there to use they're phone. Seriously, kids want phones so they can post stuff on Snapchat and Instagram so they can be part of "the group". Kids are addicted to their phones these days. Every time they have some free time they get on their phone so they can check if someone liked their selfie or play some stupid pointless game that gets you nowhere in life. Smartphones can also cause eye problems. Kids are getting eye problems that usually only old people get because of blue light from devices. People need to learn how to enjoy simple pleasures like talking with friends, playing board games, and reading a book. I have a good friend group and feel satisfied with my life even though I don't have a phone.
Teen, 14 years old written by n8cwhite

I'm not sure about you, but I am feeling left out. I'm not invited to anything because I can't be contacted easily. I can't be notified of plan changes. Because of that, I could look towards games. I don't have a PC, therefore we're talking mobile games. Let me go download one real quick-- oh. I don't have something that can actually download mobile games. That's not an option. Odd. Now I can't really do anything now, can I? Whoops!
Teen, 13 years old written by BookLover497

No, no, no, no, no! You are not in any way depriving your kid if you don't buy him an iPhone. Why? 1. iPhones are expensive and a kid may lose/break it. 2. Too much time spent on electronic devices can harm you, especially younger people. 3. There are obviously loads of kids, teens, and adults who don't have an iPhone or even a phone. You may think that he is ready for an iPhone, in which case, that's great! But you also might not. I personally do not believe that you should go straight in with an iPhone, though. Depending on the age of your kid you could buy him a cheaper phone, if he is older and needs a phone. If he is younger then you could tell him the reasons you don't want him to have a phone. Through either of these ways he will most likely rebel and present you with a long list of reasons that he should have an iPhone. Just tell him why not. I would recommend to get your child a phone with internet access by the beginning of secondary school, because that is usually when it is needed for school.
Teen, 14 years old written by ed21

Yes you are I have an Iphone 5 and never take it out around school because i'm embarrassed of it. 98% of the kids in my year have a better phone than me and my friend recently got an iPhone x she had an iPhone 5 before. My parents don't seem to see the problem of my phone. It glitches all the time i have several problems and i don't know what to do. Ive considered buying a new one but it is way to expensive. My parents can afford a better phone but don't care that i have a shi**y one. I really want a new phone everyone has an Iphone 8 or 7 i'm stuck with an iPhone 5. My birthday is months away and Im not even sure they will give me a new phone. Can someone give me advice?
Teen, 14 years old written by evibear_11

I have an iPhone 5S too. I know it’s outdated but at least I have one. Some people don’t have phones at all, your parents gave you one, so be grateful and grow up. Your parents are absolutely right, there is no problem. If you want a new one, earn money by doing chores in the house and save up! Stop complaining, your parents have better things to spend their money (that they worked hard for, not you) on another phone.
Kid, 12 years old

It doesn't matter what your friends have if I compared myself to my friends I would be poor. Be thankful for what you have try looking up videos or saving money up for a new phone if it's that important to you.
Kid, 10 years old

Yes, You are depriving your kid if you don’t buy them an iPhone. I know adults won’t listen to me because I’m a kid, but just because I’m a kid does not mean I’m stupid. I can watch the Netflix show stranger things and not get to scared, and I enjoy watching Youtubers like Joey Graceffa. Yes, I do have a YouTube account. Please, Please, DO NOT TORTURE YOUR KIDS. I DO NOT KNOW WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE, BUT THEY HAVE NO EMPATHY FOR KIDS WITH NO CELL PHONES! Tweens/Tweens can be mean!! I know, Parents like to pretend they know what its like. BUT PARENTS DO NOT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE! I do have a iPhone, but a few of my best friends don’t have phones, and its really hard for them if their iPad runs out of battery, and they can’t text. I am in a big chat group with all the kids in my class who have Phones/iPads, plus one person who is no longer in my class, and kids might miss out if they don’t have a phone. I have a phone for safety reasons and one time my mom had to go get her car and I didn’t come and my Phone made me feel so better because I could call her on my phone while she was finding her car. I mean, I guess android is okay, I guess, Someone in my class used to have samsung and then they got a iPhone 8 Plus for christmas. Nobody in my class has a flip phone though, but some kids have iPods. Someone in my class used to have an iPod then got iPhone 7 for christmas. Please, Please, get your kid a phone, It will make everything easier for everyone. I know some adults don’t think you should, but they are selfish and they don’t wanna spend money. I know that adults think I’m stupid but I’m not, I’m mature enough and I now have an iPhone 8 Plus, so please get your kid a phone.
Kid, 12 years old

Kids Don't need iPhones I have a Moro e4 and I love it. If you are 10 or younger you're lucky to have any technology besides a TV. I got my first phone last year and it was a flip phone. I got an iPhone 5 and then we switched to sprint and I got a moto e4. If you have any phone higher than an iPhone 5 you are very fortunate and should be thankful. It isn't just about maturity it's about if you need it. Phones aren't for games they are for calling and messaging your parents. I prefer slider and flip phones. So don't complain about not having the newest iPhone because there are less fortunate people than you.
Kid, 11 years old

Exactly! Parents didn't have this stuff when they were our age! They don't understand!!!
Teen, 13 years old written by BookLover497

They should consider themselves lucky that they even have an iPad. Aged 10! I have never had an iPad but to be honest, I don't want one. I am young too, and I get the feeling of wanting the latest technology, but some kids are simply not mature enough. I would definitely recommend to get your kid a phone when you feel (s)he needs one- for safety reasons, school etc- but does it really need to be an iPhone? No. Of course not!
Teen, 13 years old written by Speckledhyena

If they're responsible enough for an iPhone (or other phone), then they can have one. Before I got my phone, I had to be trusted with my first personal device, an iPod Nano. After a while I was trusted enough to get a flip-phone, and later a smartphone and tablet. I now have a Chromebook Laptop as well.
Parent written by Robyn F.

My answer to this question would be yes, you are depriving your child if you don't get them a Iphone, as innovation and technology in the world is growing fast and as people, of the next generation, our children need to learn how to use technology from a early age. I also feel that if you are ready to give your child a phone, you might as well get the newest or best model you can afford, so this way, they can use it for a longer period of time without it getting too 'uncool' or outdated. I am currently planning to get my twelve-year-old daughter her third phone, and we are finding it extremely hard to choose between the Iphone 8 and 10.
Kid, 12 years old

Kid, 10 years old

Hi Robyn, I have iPhone 8 Plus and I know someone who has iPhone X. The iPhone 8 is pretty cool, but some people think its more like the iPhone 7s, so you could just get a 7, only difference is wireless charging and maybe some more differences. iPhone X is $999, has no home button, has notch which is sometimes annoying, has Face ID (Bassically password with your face, iPhone 8 has Touch ID, iPhone 8 Touch ID is really good, works fast, no effort required.) I was at first on the fence about if I should get iPhone 8 or iPhone X. I chose iPhone 8 Plus. The iPhone 8 comes in Silver, space gray, and gold. The iPhone X comes in Silver and space gray, all the colors look pretty good but space gray might get Smugy with fingerprints. I used to have iPhone 5, before I had my iPhone 8 Plus, and my 5 was getting old and it was time for me to get a new phone, still, I didn’t really get bullied, though I got upset because I really wanted a new phone. The iPhone X battery lasts longer then the iPhone 8 battery, iPhone 8 battery lasts about same as the 7. I totally agree that you might as well get the newest or best model you can afford and that you are, in fact, depriving your kid if you don’t buy them an iPhone.
Teen, 14 years old written by PruLyn

I got my first phone when I was 14 at Christmas. Before, it did make me feel somewhat excluded when everyone could just call and text whenever they pleased. It got more frustrating when we went on class trips and I had to practically puppy-follow a friend (given all my friends had phones) to make sure I didn't get "lost" because I didn't have any way of contacting anyone. A certain trip lasted a full week away from home, and I progressively got more annoyed with having little independence unlike my other classmates. In reality, I did "survive" not having a phone, but it became more problematic when I got older and I had more freedoms and responsibilities. I had always had to lean on other people to make my own calls (pickup times, questions, conflicts, directions), but it has made me feel better that I can contact my own parents without begging for someone else's phone. When it comes to what kind of phone, it is completely up to you. Most teenagers (myself included), like using phones for more than texts and calls, such as the camera, games, and social media. But, if it conflicts with your budget or your not ready to give them access to that, it's ok. They don't need cutting-edge technology the first time around.
Teen, 15 years old written by Common sense LST

No. You can just give your kid a regular old flip phone that can call and just text. They don’t need an IPhone. Flip phones work just as well.
Teen, 13 years old written by Hayley Starr

NO. Please, no one do this to your child, they WILL get laughed at/bullied. I've seen kids get laughed at for just not having iphones, and i go to a decent school. Let alone a flip phone. I honestly, truly, am sorry for your child. Please, educate yourself. Its not 1990 anymore. Not having a smart phone made me feel very left out, uncool, and disconnected from my peers. I've been there. (Also there is way more to a phone than calling and texting.) As for androids, those are ok i guess. Maybe you'll get the occasional snicker, and they definitely won't be very cool, but theyll survive. Having a flip phone can be brutal. I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but teenagers are MEAN. And materialistic, and judgemental. In conclusion, flip phones are TERRIBLE, non-iphones/androids are okay, and iPhones are amazing. (This sounds really mean... But... Parents like you are the part of the reason kids get bullied. I dont know you personally, but judging by this post, I feel bad for your kid)
Adult written by Lance_Taco

No. Your kids don't need phones in grade school. Middle school makes more sense as they'll likely be away for longer periods of time and it will make it easier to coordinate with your children in situations where they need to use public transport.
Kid, 11 years old

You will make your kid sad. I am in middle school. I just got a phone. All the kids in my grade had a I phone by grade 5! I was sad and I still don't have a iPhone. I cry every day about.
Teen, 13 years old written by Reader Girl

You are in no way depriving your kid if you don’t get them a phone, but keep in mind that phones can have serious benefits. There have been 2 or three occasions where my parents and I got separated on accident and a phone saved me.
Teen, 13 years old written by Molly W.

I wouldn't call it depriving, but it's a good idea to get your kid a phone when they're around 13. In my classes, they are using more and more programs that require devices. For example, my school plays a game called Kahoot that requires everybody to have a device such as a phone or a tablet, and sometimes kids who don't have phones are left out because they can't play or have to partner with somebody. Like the official answer mentions, my math class used to use Khan Academy for assignments, and it's easier to use on a phone. In addition, cell phones are a really good way to keep track of your kid. When they're at school, they can reach you- or vice Versa -without them having to go through the hassle of calling home. If you're stressed about exposing them to the worse sides of the internet, don't worry- there are ways to 'check up on them.' Plus, most teens know that they aren't supposed to be doing something and will normally back down. In conclusion, it's a great idea to get your kid a phone- you'll be benefiting them and yourself.
Teen, 13 years old written by evrska9

I got a flip phone when I turned 12. Usually, the best age for kids get their first phone is in their middle school years or, if applicable, they start to get small jobs, like babysitting. My parents said as long as I kept a B average or higher, I could get a smartphone when I turn 16. I have a tablet also but mainly for taking pictures and checking my email. Make sure your child understands how much one costs and whether they have to work for it or not. My parents made it clear I had to keep my grades up and that babysitting my younger siblings would pay for the bill. An iPhone is a privilege, not a right.
Teen, 15 years old written by nog642

Depends what age. By the time they are around 13, if they do not have some sort of smartphone (not necessarily an iPhone), it's a bit of a disadvantage.
Teen, 13 years old written by SGHaggarty

Nobody NEEDS an iPhone. Talk to your kid about why you don't think they should have an iPhone. (I don't have a phone and I understand and agree with why.) I'm getting a phone when I turn 14 because I have shown the responsibility and usually at that age kids are more independent (not necessarily with an adult at all times) and will need contact.
Kid, 10 years old

Adult written by JEastham

Yes but the point is you can do that with any old phone. You don’t need an iPhone with all the latest technology and the price tag that goes with it.
Teen, 14 years old written by landone

This is complicated, for multiple reasons. firstly, it depends on the child's age. if they're under 13, they don't necessarily need an iphone. however, teens and children can be picked on if they don't have one, especially in middle and high school. it almost serves as a status. Once your child is in high school, consider getting them one for sure.
Teen, 15 years old written by brooke.marus

I have seen bullying and harassment of kids without iPhones firsthand. I am in high school and I can say that kids without iPhones were bullied in my middle school and in my high school currently. Without iPhones kids do not have access to apps like snapchat and Instagram (very important social apps for teens) they are alienated out of their friend groups who do use snapchat and Instagram and are less social and more left out than those with iPhones. It is unfair, but boys and girls alike take joy in shaming those without the latest technology. It is best to buy them one to spare them from a lonesome childhood.
Kid, 10 years old

I agree. I have iPhone 8 Plus, my last phone was iPhone 5, I hated my 5 and wanted a new phone sooooo bad.
Teen, 13 years old written by qwertymcqwerts

A Handy Little Pros and Cons List, As Written by a Thirteen-Year-Old With An Old iPod: PROS: - You can track their location (or at least their phone's location, which they will likely take with them wherever they go) - Parental Controls - If they are babysitting younger siblings/doing chores/any other household job, then they might as well get paid in the form of a shiny new iPhone - Great way to keep in touch with friends - You can get fun games, buy movies and songs, and read (age-appropriate) articles (you can set up a shared iTunes account so that you will see what they purchase and set up some rules) - You can find educational/apps such as Khan Academy, Google Docs, and Edmodo which are a huge plus (and if your kid has a busy extracurricular schedule then they can do homework wherever– huge plus!) - Built-in alarm clock, heath monitoring app, reminders, etc. CONS: - Internet trouble (parent controls and a shared iTunes account can help prevent this) - They could get distracted (I'd suggest taking it away until they've done their homework) - $$$ (again, if they help a lot around the house then this is a great form of payment, as iPhones start at $16.63/month) I can't really think of anything else besides those, although I'm sure that I missed some. Overall, it depends on so many factors that a random teenager can't make a choice for you.
Teen, 13 years old written by Sweet kid

this sucks all of you out there who cant get a stupid phone at 13 or older get a job when your 14 and just pay the bill. parents nowadays seem to have lost sight of a kids perspective. TRUST ME when you want to meet with some friends or even a gf and u dont have a phone life is bad
Teen, 13 years old written by qwertymcqwerts

Phones don't define life; I don't have an iPhone (just an old iPod) and I get around just fine. Are there times when I sit at the computer and ogle all the fancy, new iPhones? Yes, but it's important to remember that having an iPhone is a privilege and anyone might not have an iPhone for whatever reason, whether they can't afford it, the child isn't demonstrating responsibility, or anything else. Your parents roof, your parents rules.
Kid, 10 years old

Fun fact: New phones are not “Fancy” in fact, companies are trying to make phones more simply, which for your info, is the opposite of Fancy, your just jealous because you don’t have an iPhone. By the way, I bet you don’t get around just fine, but you wish you did. And what the heck is “ogle” is that you trying to spell google? Tip: try to learn to spell before you comment on stuff.
Kid, 11 years old

How do you know that they're jealous? They're most likely happy with their iPod, seeing as how they don't wish to get an iPhone. Same thing for you thinking that they don't get around well. It's also hypocritical of you to comment on somebody's perfectly fine spelling when you can't even use 'your' correctly. To ogle at something means to stare at it in a desiring way; I thought you would have known this, seeing as how there's only a one year age difference between us.
Teen, 13 years old written by Ndel1201

This article is horrible. I'm 13 and I still can't get a phone. My parents say, ask a friend or teacher, I say I'm not always around them, they said ask the principal. There making excuses to not buy me a phone. Please help and give tips on how I can get a phone. They said I had to get STRAIT A's for THREE YEARS and play a sport for three years then they would buy me one.
Kid, 12 years old

First ask them to list legitimate reasons why you cannot. Make a list of reasons why it is helpful, like communication and being social. Most kids who are thirteen don't really communicate with you if you don't have a device. You are behind and in school most teachers assume you have a phone at that age.
Teen, 13 years old written by JeffJr

I, as a teen, know that without an iPhone, you can be treated badly at school. Lots of kids are always silly and jump to conclusions saying things like you are poor, and along those lines... Also, there are certain apps that are or aren't on androids that can affect social things like WhatsApp, snapchat... Kids find new tricks and that on an iPhone which they share with each other which makes them more popular and have more friends. My final reason is that everybody has an iPhone. It says differently in the facts at the top of the page, but the thing is, it's wrong. In conclusion to my facts, I think, in the long run, you are depriving him if you don't get an iPhone.
Teen, 13 years old written by Snow9012

The problem with smartphone is that your child will join the group, be officially part of the digital age. If your child is the only one without one it might be best to get him something, though that does not mean you have to get him this amazing iphone six that only seven other kids in the class have. Not having a phone is not the end of the world. The only problem is that other kids might pressure the kid about it or even make fun of him for not having one.
Teen, 15 years old written by Katie14633

I wanted a smart phone for a long time, almost every one in my class had one. It was kind of embarrassing for me because I had one of those older phones, where you have to press the number multiple times to type one letter. I begged my mom for a smartphone, and I finally got one for my birthday. You're kid does want a smartphone and he will keep asking for one. I don't really see the problem with getting him one, unless you can't afford it. A pro is that he will carry his phone with him everywhere, so he is safer. His phone will also ALWAYS be charged, trust me. A con is that he will be on his phone all the time and it can be distracting from homework, but as long as he has his priorities straight, it won't be a problem. It really is up to you, but I do advise you to get him one