While this film was undeniably violent, it was not distastefully so in my opinion. War on the Colonial American frontier was a gentlemen's war in the European tradition, but it was a war for men and women of true character, strength, and grit. The morality of the good men and the treachery of the evil were clearly contrasted. The theme is plain: the right wins in the long run, but at a great cost. The frequent, but only occasionally graphic scenes of fighting and death of men and women on both sides serves to drive this message unforgettably. I personally found the suicide scene beautiful, but it may be grounds for a bit of discussion on the topic. Finally, there are in other reviews references to a man being burned at the stake. This is a terrible scene, but it is one of redemption, when one man sacrifices himself for another whom he has previously wronged. Again, the portrayal of the violence of the act lends the message immeasurably more force.
The one kissing scene is rather long and highly-charged, but it, too, serves to advance the development of the characters without anything I thought gratuitous. It is about as intense as such a scene can get while the characters keep their eighteenth-century frontier clothing on, and might be a little passionate for a few viewers (I don't know your kid.), but, as I said, it's tasteful.
Otherwise, the cinematography is generally excellent, Day-Lewis's character in particular stands out for his flawless acting (this is not to say the rest of the actors were lacking), and the plot is generally fairly believable. The thing as a whole is glorious, sad, and triumphant in a restrained and real way.