That's Not Cool




Tackles digital dating abuse with videos appealing to teens.

What parents need to know

Positive messages

The site gives kids an excellent vocabulary for discussing boundary issues.

Not applicable

The site discusses the problems associated with sharing sexual or revealing photos.


No bad language on the site, but comments link to users' YouTube profiles, where anything goes.

Not applicable
Drinking, drugs, & smoking
Not applicable

Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that this ad-free site helps teens recognize when digital dating behavior becomes dangerous or abusive (stalking, violating privacy, pressure to send nude pictures) and how to deal with it. That's Not Cool's content is right on target, but there are a few iffy comments that link to users' YouTube profiles, where anything goes.

What kids can learn


Emotional Development

  • identifying emotions
  • self-awareness


  • conveying messages effectively
  • listening

Responsibility & Ethics

  • making wise decisions
  • respect for others

Engagement, Approach, Support


Videos are creative and well-produced, and the site engages teens by presenting information in several different interactive formats (videos, games, Q&As).

Learning Approach

Teens can learn how to cope with real-life situations by practicing good decision-making in virtual dating dilemmas. They can also share video content and post comments.


The site is easy to navigate, and a robust "Need Help?" section provides additional resources for teens in crisis.

What kids can learn


Emotional Development

  • identifying emotions
  • self-awareness


  • conveying messages effectively
  • listening

Responsibility & Ethics

  • making wise decisions
  • respect for others

Kids can learn skills for developing healthy relationships in the digital age. That's Not Cool tackles common teen dating issues, like a partner who pressures you to send racy photos or demands that you share social media passwords. The site stresses the importance of respecting others, setting boundaries, and communicating clearly. With clever and creative content, That's Not Cool helps teens learn to identify unhealthy behavior and develop strategies to deal with it.

This Learning Rating review was written by Susan Yudt

What's it about?

A project of the Family Violence Prevention Fund, the Office on Violence Against Women, and the Ad Council, THAT'S NOT COOL aims to educate teenagers about digital dating abuse. The site features videos that deal with issues like excessive texting and pressure to send risqué photos, and there are lots of "callout cards" to email or post to social networking sites ("Thank you for your thoughtful text every 10 seconds"). Teens who have a YouTube account can post responses about common dating dilemmas, and Need Help? includes guidelines for determining when relationships cross the line.

Is it any good?


With digital violations on the rise -- from nude photos leaked to blogs to a murder sparked by a "single" Facebook status -- That's Not Cool is a much-needed resource for teens and for parents who could use a little help understanding this very 21st-century issue. The videos are cool, clever, and interactive; teens see a scenario from the perspective of both partners and choose the best way to deal with the situation. The guidelines for recognizing abuse are right on target, and the additional resources included are reliable.

Families can talk about...

  • Families can talk about what is and isn't appropriate with online and mobile communication. What does having constant access to another person mean?

  • What do your kids think is the line between caring and controlling? Parents can encourage teens to come talk to them or another trusted adult if they're ever in a dating situation that feels uncomfortable or abusive.

Website details

Pricing structure:Free

This review of That's Not Cool was written by

Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are conducted by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners.


Our star rating assesses the media's overall quality.

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Learning ratings

  • Best: Really engaging; great learning approach.
  • Very Good: Engaging; good learning approach.
  • Good: Pretty engaging; good learning approach.
  • Fair: Somewhat engaging; OK learning approach.
  • Not for Learning: Not recommended for learning.
  • Not for Kids: Not age-appropriate for kids; not recommended for learning.

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About Our Rating System

The age displayed for each title is the minimum one for which it's developmentally appropriate. We recently updated all of our reviews to show only this age, rather than the multi-color "slider." Get more information about our ratings.

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What parents and kids say

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Parent of a 11 year old Written byLola12 February 15, 2010

perfect for tweens and older

I think this website has great infomration for young people who are trying to figure out whats ok and what is not...It speaks directly to them, its both serious content but with some humor.
Kid, 11 years old August 11, 2011

give it a chance

this is a good thing for teens and other ages to look in to it changed my life just by reading it changed my brothers to,give it a chance and you will see what i mean. thank you.sarah young
What other families should know
Educational value
Great messages
Too much violence
Too much sex
Too much swearing
Too much consumerism
Too much drinking/drugs/smoking
Educator and Parent of a 14 and 17 year old Written bycib258 February 4, 2009

Parents need to get involved

That's great for the kids to help themselves, I have no problem with But, I'm looking forward to seeing their resources for parents. That would have been my first step. Many of the reviews have focused on sexting and the posting of inappropriate photos. But, to their credit, that's not what Thatsnotcool is really concerned about. It's about every day kids hassling kids. It's nothing really new and it is why parents need to "be there,," to help them focus on what is real. So, in the 21st Century parents need to be involved in the electronic message flow, everyday. They are not going to stop it. If parents add their kind, responsible, caring adult words to the stream of ideas their children are seeing on the tiny cellphone screens, it may help offset the hurtful juvenile junk. I stumbled on the issue of text abuse last year in my early research for This is the reason why we installed tight security on our texting-sending web service. And it's also why we have (a non-advertised) "bad word" filter on WuduPlz. We did not want bad actors using our service. (It is next to impossible to send an anonymous message via WuduPlz, but it's still handy for members.) In talking about with teachers and others who work with older kids, we found they were eager to have responsible adult voices joining the youthful chatter on the cellphones screen of students, especially for middle school children. "Wuduplz can help inject a reality check," we were told. And we made "add a reality check" a part of our pitch to parents. Here's the link: Here's our YouTube video:


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