Common Sense Note
Parents need to know that this documentary is about the filmmaker Doug's parents. His mother dies suddenly and Doug and his two sisters -- adults over 40 -- talk frankly about how they're handling the loss and what they think of their father remarrying three months after her death. Doug reads his mother's diaries and learns about her near-constant unhappiness in the marriage and obsession with her therapist. The possibility of infidelity on both sides is discussed at length. Doug's mother admits to smoking pot while visiting one child at college. There's also a mention of the sexual revolution and what some suburban couples were doing at the time (exchanges, etc.).
Families can talk about quite a bit in this movie. Parents can talk with teens about how this documentary looks at marriage and commitment -- in a way you never see portrayed in films and on TV. (It may serve as an antidote to some shows like MTV's Engaged and Underage.) They can also talk about how Doug's relationship with his father developed through the course of the documentary -- how is it stronger now? If your parents had diaries, would you read them if you could? Do you think Doug made the right decision?
Common Sense Review
Reviewed By: Carrie R. Wheadon
Filmmaker Doug Block earns part of his income filming weddings. And just for fun he'd been filming his parents for years -- at their 50th wedding anniversary party, sitting on the couch chatting about his childhood. His camera was always pointed at preserving happy memories that only touch the surface of people's lives. But when his mother dies suddenly, his 83-year-old father remarries three months later, and 30 years of his mother's daily diaries are left to him, he makes the decision to go where he'd never allowed his camera to go before. It's a very difficult and rewarding personal journey thoughtful viewers will relish.
In a case of the perfect metaphor, the house Doug and his two sisters grew up in -- they moved into 51 Birch Street in 1951 -- is being packed up for their father's move to Florida. He's ready for his new life with Kitty, his secretary from 35 years ago he reconnected with after his wife's death. The adult siblings watch as a half-century of memories come spilling out of drawers, cupboards, and boxes hidden in the backs of deep, skeleton-filled closets. When Doug is offered 30 years of his mother's daily diaries he debates about whether or not to read them, and finally does.
He was closer to his mother than anyone else in the family, but still amazed at what he finds -- even though he realizes that much was right in front of him the whole time; His mother even said in an old home movie that the marriage had some rough years. The entries reveal that she feels overwhelmed and unhappy as a '50s housewife to the typical strong-and-silent type husband. She eventually goes to psychotherapy and falls hard for her therapist. She obsesses both about her therapist and her self-discovery process. She writes intense, introspective poetry.
Interspersed with these revelatory diary entries are interviews with Doug's siblings, recalling how "she wasn't a warm mother" and that poetry they read in the past was their only clue about her richer inner life. They also discuss never spending alone time with their stoic father growing up, and wonder over the "new improved dad" they're seeing now. Doug also talks to his mother's best friend, his mother's brother, and a rabbi. In the process he pieces together a portrait of a difficult marriage of two people who meant well. He also cautiously tries to forge a better relationship with his father before he packs up and moves to Florida.
This slow, thoughtful documentary is rich with discussion points. Adult children will probably gain the most from it, but it's also a wonderful opportunity for parents to discuss some life lessons with mature teens, none of whom will walk away thinking the same way about marriage or their own parents.
Families that enjoy this documentary may also enjoy The Namesake and the TV series This American Life.
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Sexual ContentInfidelity is discussed at length, as well as Doug's mother's obsession with her therapist -- many highlighted journal entries discuss longing and unfulfillment. A mention of partner swapping and "handsies" at a drive-in. |
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Drug/Alcohol/TobaccoDoug's mother discusses smoking pot while visiting her child at college. |
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