Conan the Barbarian (1982)

  • Review Date: August 12, 2008
  • R
  • Genre: Fantasy
  • 1982
 Review

Common Sense Media says

Raunchier and bloodier than you remember.
greenON: Content is age-appropriate for kids this age.
yellowPAUSE: Know your child; some content
may not be right for some kids.
redOFF: Not age-appropriate for kids this age.
not for kidsNOT FOR KIDS: Not appropriate for kids any age.

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Quality
 
Sometimes media can be age appropriate but a real waste of time. Our star rating assesses the media's overall quality.

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Parents say

Not yet rated

Kids say

Not yet rated

What parents need to know

Parents need to know that -- even though Conan is a star in his own long-running series of Marvel Comics books -- there's R-level sex and bloodshed in the form of sword impalings, torture, dog attacks, bloody axings, and gladiatorial beat-downs (even of animals). There's female nudity, too, as a young, enslaved Conan is "bred" with unwilling females like cattle and enjoys a very physical relationship with his love interest, a beautiful thief. Not that most viewers will notice amidst the hard-R content, but the movie also contains some anti-religious themes.

  • Conan is more "heroic" than just about every character on view in that he isn't wantonly cruel. Still, he's revenge-driven and merciless in battle. His companions and friends are thieves and outcast wizards. The barbaric time-period is multicultural, with most colors, races, and genders in the fighting (though women tend to be gorgeous, thin, and half-naked, as a rule).
  • Bloody sword impalings, a crucifixion, a dog attack, body parts in a cannibalistic stew, and bloody beheadings, including one of the child Conan's mother. Conan punches out a camel, not a great moment for animal rights onscreen, and dismembers a monster snake.
  • Sex and partial nudity. Topless and nearly naked slave girls and tavern wenches, entwined in palace orgies, sacrificed to cults and tossed to Conan to procreate (and he cooperates). Conan has softcore sex with his lover Valeria, and there are strong overtures of homosexuality in a character of a cult priest.
  • Not applicable.
  • A line of Conan comic books and paperback novelizations, before and after this feature, hacked their savage trail through the marketplace.
  • Conan and his lover get notably drunk.

What's the story?

CONAN THE BARBARIAN adapts for the screen the virile adventure stories of American pulp writer Robert E. Howard, set in a mythical prehistoric age before the sinking of Atlantis. Conan is son of a village sword-maker in a northern tribe. His village/family are massacred for no good reason by bandit-mystic Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones). Sold into slavery, Conan bulks up thanks to years of hard labor (and is now played by Mr. Universe bodybuilder-actor Arnold Schwarzenegger). He proves a champion in the gladiatorial ring. Unexpectedly freed by his master, Conan goes on a vengeful quest to find Thulsa Doom, whom he finds is recruiting masses of suicide-crazed religious pilgrims via his powerful snake cult.


Is it any good?

 

With a script co-written by Oliver Stone, this sword-and-sorcery hit aspires to be more serious in intent than a lot of films with longstanding comic-book tie-ins. But it's pretty ponderous, by Crom! Compared to Robert E. Howard's agile prose, this plot dutifully stomps its way from point A to point B without too many surprises or detours. The villainous Thulsa Doom (whose messianic-suicide cult may be some sort of knock against organized religion) doesn't do very much at all, even with lackluster magical powers, and the sword-battle scenes are shot in flat, no-frills fashion.

While Schwarzenegger strikes artful poses and has the required physicality, he really isn't given much of a character to play. Conan just reacts rather than acts. No wonder movie critics of the savage era of 1982 (who failed to appreciate the future California governor in the documentary Pumping Iron or some of his non-action roles) initially wrote off the star as a talentless slab of imported Austrian meat. In later roles -- and in the 1984 sequel Conan the Destroyer -- Arnold flexed his humor and charisma muscles just as much as his biceps and pecs.


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What families can talk about

Families can talk about the character of Conan, and what makes him ostensibly a good guy in this violent, brutish landscape. Also, why do you think that this incarnation of Conan is clearly made for adults and not for the ages who enjoyed the comic book series? Do you think this would be a compelling story without the hard-R content? Were you aware of some of the anti-religious themes (specifically a quote from Nietzsche), and why do you think they were included in a movie like this one?


This review was written by Charles Cassady Jr.
Teen, 15 years old
August 13, 2011
 
ok
first of all this not for kid the one that is pg is conan the destroyer but not that movie

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Adult
May 9, 2009
 
Violent.

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Adult
August 17, 2009
 
Conan the Bad/Boring.
This is a horrible, horrible film. It is absolutely terrible. I do not reccommend it at all. I am a Schwarzenegger fan, but this was just horrid.

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Teen, 17 years old
February 19, 2012
 
Campy and still a lot of fun, but definitely not for kids
John Milius's 1982 hit fantasy film Conan the Barbarian, which is based on the long line of comic books and novels from Robert E. Howard, is a movie that embraces it's nearly impenetrable goofiness and sleazy camp with a willing attitude to showcase some ridiculously macho action sequences, a disgustingly buffed-up Arnold Schwarzenegger and some extremely dated but still awesome special effects, and in the end, this is arguably one of the most entertaining and underrated action movies to ever come out of the 1980's. Even with the than young and inexperienced Arnold Schwarzenegger's unfamiliarity with acting in this movie, you can tell that he actually was trying, and than in his later movies, just built off of the fact that he was a campy sight to behold, and make money off of that. So, even though this movie is nearly 30-years-old, the R Rating is actually still very much deserved for a few big reasons: There is frequent and very strong brutal bloody violence, with many, many brutal sword fights which feature dismemberment, decapitation and other various gruesome inflected wounds and injures, with much spurting and spraying blood. Also, there is strong sexual content, with one scene early on in the movie which features a woman's bare breasts, a later sex scene which is very graphic and loud, and features the mans bare back, buttocks and legs and the woman's bare back, buttocks and breasts. And even later, there is another sex scene with abundant nudity, and even later, there is a scene of a mass orgy with lot's of sensual moaning, groaning and visible full-frontal nudity. So, that may be a lot to take in, even for a R Rated movie, but this is 80's campy fantasy-action at it's best and most entertaining. Honestly, it was great to re-watch this gem again, all these years later.

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This review was written by Charles Cassady Jr.
Studio:Universal Studios Home Entertainment
Director:John Milius
Cast:Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Earl Jones, Max von Sydow, Sandahl Bergman
Genre:Fantasy
Run time:115 minutes
Theatrical release date:May 11, 1982
DVD release date:May 30, 2000
MPAA rating:R

This review was written by Charles Cassady Jr.
 

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ON: Content is age-appropriate for kids this age.
PAUSE: Know your child; some content may not be right for some kids.
OFF: Not age-appropriate for kids this age.
Learning ratings
BEST: Really engaging, great learning approach.
GOOD: Pretty engaging, good learning approach.
FAIR: Somewhat engaging, OK learning approach.
NOT FOR LEARNING: Not recommended for learning.

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