Cradle 2 the Grave (PG-13, 2003)

After stealing a cache of valuable black diamonds, Tony Fait (DMX) learns that his daughter has been kidnapped by a former lawman, Ling (Mark Dacascos), who demands those black diamonds as ransom. But Tony's fence (Tom Arnold) was robbed, and the diamonds are gone. In order to get them, and his daughter back, Tony ends up teaming up with Ling's former partner, Su (Jet Li).

This slapdash mess of an explosion movie wastes the talents of its cast and can't even slow down to let us enjoy the fight scenes. I don't care if the plot doesn't make sense to me, but I like to have it make sense to the people who are in the movie. No such luck. DMX showed some charisma and promise in Exit Wounds, the last film by this director, but he does not have enough to do here in CRADLE 2 THE GRAVE. His character -- high-tech superstar thief who preys on bad guys by day/loving daddy who prays with his adorable and spunky daughter by night -- just does not work. The delicious Gabrielle Union (Deliver us from Eva) is wasted as kick-boxing arm candy who is even forced to do a strip tease to provide a distraction while her boyfriend is tossing the room next store. Jet Li looks like he'd rather be someplace else. Tom Arnold and Anthony Andersen provide some flashes of humor.

The plot is not just murky, which is forgiveable; it is manipulative, which is not. It is shameless to have the little girl kidnapped by the bad guys to make us see how truly evil they are and make us feel some commitment to the outcome. It is even more shameless to have the black diamonds turn out to be a power source for super-destructive weapons. But what is really unforgiveable here is the waste of the movie's primary asset, Jet Li's ability to fight, by filming the scenes so poorly that we don't really get a good look at what he can do.