The definitive comment about RESIDENT EVIL was made by my friend, who walked out of the theater with me and said, "The computer game is more realistic than the movie." At least, I think that's what he said. My ears were still ringing from the highest decibel audio track I can remember. OK, no one was going in expecting insights about the human condition or Oscar-worthy performances in a movie based on a CD-ROM. All we hope for is some cool special effects and fight scenes. But even on that level,
Resident Evil is a disappointment.
For the record, I can accept forgoing insight, characterization, and even dialogue in a movie like this. But it's not OK to forego stunning visuals, clever plot twists, and a sense of humor, and here Resident Evil falls short. What it does have is undead humans who look like rejects from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video, mutant vampire Dobermans who look like they they've been turned inside out, some laser beams that slice into people in a really gross way, and, on the plus side, a literally kick-ass performance by Michelle Rodriguez.