How ‘The Edge of Seventeen’ Captures the Essence of Youth
Plenty of movies attempt to capture the essence of what it's like to be a teenager today, but few come close to succeeding. The Edge of Seventeen is one of the rare few that just gets it and doesn't feel like a team of adults behind the scenes making a teen movie with no knowledge of how teenagers actually move through the world.
The film doesn't romanticize being young or sugarcoat the pain and confusion of loneliness when you're trying to figure out the world and your place in it. Instead, it dives into the quiet, gut-wrenching feeling that you have absolutely no idea who you are or what you want to do with your life. It conjures that dreamlike state of watching yourself become someone you don't even recognize. By the end of the movie, you're practically drowning in your own tears because it feels like someone just defined your own adolescence to you in 90 minutes.
Nadine, the main character, represents so many of the things that I—and I think a lot of teens—feel but don't know how to put into words. She holds on tightly to her one friend whom she's known all her life, because that's all she really has. When that friendship becomes threatened, it's not just upsetting or an inconvenience to her life, but a genuine feeling that her whole world is ending. You can actually feel Nadine's loneliness through the screen, a feeling that not so many actors can nail, but Hailee Steinfeld just absolutely encompasses it perfectly. It's not loud or dramatic or writing in a diary and screaming that she's lonely. Instead, it's quiet. It's her standing at a party quietly behind a group, awkwardly laughing as she tries to fit into their circle and conversation, trying to pretend she belongs. It's her scanning the cafeteria searching for someone, anyone to sit with, and then shutting everyone out before they can reject her. It's being mad at her friend and being scared to process it because she knows that if she loses her friend then she has no one. It's feeling like you're a burden to your mom, so you stop trying.
What I love most about this movie is how real it is. Nadine is flawed. She lashes out. She's desperate for attention and connection but also wants to be left alone. She's a people pleaser who also pushes everyone away. She doesn't always see how her actions hurt other people, and even when she does, she still prioritizes her own pain, even when she recognizes the impact of her actions. One of my favorite lines is when she says: "I had the worst thought: I've got to spend the rest of my life with myself." I feel like this line is just so raw and real. It's the feeling that's hard to describe but is probably the most honest. Not liking yourself is the worst kind of loneliness, and Nadine captures that. That kind of emotional contradiction is what being a teenager actually feels like, and it doesn't necessarily end with a happily ever after, unlike so many teen movies. The movie ends with things starting to improve, naturally and not immediately.
The film also touches on family in a raw and truthful way. Nadine's relationship with her mom is tense and distant, and it doesn't get better when she loses her friend, either. It's a situation that I think filmmakers often fail to address: that not everyone is best friends with their mom or is destined to be when their life goes downhill. Her brother seems like he has it all together, but he's also just trying to survive and hold and support their grieving mom. Nadine and her brother aren't necessarily close, either—they kind of just coexist. The death of Nadine's dad is not just sad, it's like she lost the only person who truly saw her. That kind of grief is shown in small yet powerful ways. It's not talked about constantly, but it lingers under everything she does. There's this one scene where her mom won't even acknowledge how much Nadine is struggling, and it hits so hard because it's like she's invisible in her own home.
One of the most powerful parts of this movie is Nadine's relationship with her English teacher, Mr. Bruner. He's one of the only adults in her life who talks to her without judgment or forced optimism. He's sarcastic and a little emotionally distant, but he listens, and more importantly, he sees through her defenses. There's a moment where Nadine is at her absolute lowest, she's just begging someone to want her, but is still a shy and scared girl. She calls Mr. Bruner to pick her up and he brings her to his house so she can be safe while he calls her mom to come get her. In this short and impactful scene, Mr. Bruner's wife says in passing to Nadine something along the lines of how she went through something similar in high school, a rough patch but "everything will work out and be OK." That simple line—coming from someone who's not her mom, not a therapist, but just a kind, calm adult—feels like a lifeline.
It's a small moment in the movie, but it made me tear up, because when I was Nadine's age, going through the struggles of figuring myself out and dealing with friendship issues and drama, that kind of validation and hope would've been monumental. It shows us that sometimes all we need is for someone to quietly remind us that we are not always going to feel this way. That moment felt so real, and it was one of the first signs in the movie that Nadine is going to be OK, even if she's not there yet.
If it isn't clear yet, I absolutely loved this movie. Even more so, I appreciated the ending so much. Things aren't magically fixed. Her friendship isn't perfectly patched up. Her relationship with her mom is still awkward. But there's a sense of movement—of baby steps. It's real. It's going to obviously be awkward seeing your ex-best friend again after not talking for weeks. And no, you won't wake up and suddenly love yourself. But these feelings, these times of uncertainties, they will, and at least for me, they did pass. The Edge of Seventeen doesn't offer perfect solutions, but that's what makes it honest. It understands that being a teenager is messy and painful and sometimes unbearably lonely—but also that things do, eventually, get better.
