Sharenting Slip-Ups

Everything posted online about your child, whether by them, friends, or family, becomes a part of their digital footprint: a record of what they do and post online. As kids get older, they are more aware of how they appear online, and may be uncomfortable with content that others post about them.

With this activity, you and your child can learn why asking for permission matters, and then you will give them the tools to speak up if a photo or post makes them feel uncomfortable.

Directions

1. Ask your kid: Have you ever seen a photo or video or yourself online that you didn't know was there? How did that make you feel?
2. Let them know that any feelings that they have are normal and valid. Say something like: It's okay to feel weird or upset if you see a photo of yourself online that you didn't know was there. It happens more than you think! There's even a word for when parents do it – sharenting. I want you to know that you have the right to speak up and tell me or anyone else if a post makes you uncomfortable.
3. Explain that their digital identity is the story the internet tells about them – how they appear online through posts, photos, and other information shared about them.
4. Talk about consent, which means asking for and getting permission before posting a photo or video of someone else. Let them know to ask before posting about someone else, and that they can ask others not to share certain things about themselves.
5. Talk through one (or all) of the following scenarios with your child and ask them for their perspective. Ask your kid: How did this situation make you feel? If this happened to you, would you want me to delete the post or would it not bother you?
   1. Your mom is so proud of your report card that she posts a picture of it online for everyone to see. Now, people you barely know are commenting on your grades and how smart you are.
      • Question to ask: Should grades be kept private, or is it okay for parents to brag about them?
   2. Your dad posts a #ThrowbackThursday photo of you in the bathtub from when you were a toddler. You think it's embarrassing, but he thinks it's just a sweet memory.
      • Question to ask: When does a "baby photo" become something you would rather not have online?
   3. Your parents filmed you having a tantrum because they thought it was a funny story about parenting, but you feel like they're making fun of you and turning your bad mood into a joke.
      • Question to ask: When is it okay to share real-life moments on the internet
   4. A few months ago, you told your aunt it was fine to post a silly photo of you. But now, you feel embarrassed about it. You want your aunt to delete it, but she says, "You already gave me permission!"
      • Question to ask: If you say yes to a post once, should you be allowed to change your mind later?
6. Next, talk about what your child can do if a post about them makes them feel uncomfortable. Talk through what your child can say, like: "I'm not comfortable with that being online. Could you please take it down?" Remind them that they don't need to say much—even a simple, "I'd like that to stay offline" is firm enough.
   

Modeling consent and asking permission is the best way to teach it. When you ask your child, "Is it okay if I post this photo of your soccer goal?" you are showing them how to respect other people's privacy and to become thoughtful digital citizens.

This activity is adapted from the lesson in our Digital Literacy & Well-Being Curriculum.