5 Ways to Talk to Your Kids About Swearing -- and Why

kids learn swearing from parents 90% of the time

I agree with some things here and disagree with some. This is a lot more intelligent than the typical parental reaction. Kids will learn, whether or not swearing has a place in society, at an early age. When used properly, it can add value to what you're saying. If not, it can just seem downright silly. Time and place is very important. I also believe though in making it more acceptable and an understood practice. People who are offended by swearing are petty, trivial people in my honest opinion, but it's important to know how to identify these people and in what situations they may exist, so you don't create trouble for yourself. What I disagree with here is substitute words and euphemisms. It's just one way to say the exact same thing. Sure, maybe "crap" would be better if the feeling you're stating is not strong enough to justify the word "s--t," but removing it altogether dismisses an entire part of our English language. Now what we should NOT do is try to censor anything that contains swearing. This is the pinnacle of idiotic parenting. You might as well lock them in their room and never let them go outside, never go to school. If you think that just because your child or teenager hears something they will just automatically and blindly repeat it like they're a goddamn tape recorder, you are underestimating them and their brain capability. I wish parents would stop trying to avoid everything that contains swearing. They've all heard it! More exposure will lead to more comfortability and understanding of the terms, which is a good thing, as long as time and place is understood.

i dont see a problem with any words unless its intent is to hurt another person eg. 'you're a bitch' if you dont swear then great! if you do swear then great! but if you swear every 3 seconds you will look like an idiot, focus on something more important than vocabulary,

Kids choices of who they hang out with might make them hear words you don't want them to be exposed to. I once hung out with someone who cursed a lot and never got in trouble for it. I found out that she was not a good friend because those curse words made me and my other friends feel bad about ourselves.

"How to Teach Your Kids to Swear," by Kim Lunansky. Psychologist approved! http://youtu.be/-g_CLUPs-w8?list=UUfNT-I0R7Vh3uuUdaJUMe5g (www.donnaink.com).

I would never use that sort of foul language again and again in my life not in years.

I honestly don't think that words such as "jerk" or "stupid" are swear words. I wouldn't say them to a 3 year old, but they are not swears.

Sierra can't go online!- Mierra Mierra Cilucci! Don't do it!- Sierra Most kids my age have the mouth of a sailor, but I'm different. I never tend to use bad words, not even little swears, like "cr*p" or "freakin''. reply Flag as inappropriate wht about hell (or is tht even a bad word)Although I hate it when children swear, I think 13 is around the age where it's OK in some situations. My teacher said to us, I don't care if you swear, just don't do it in the classroom. She was right. There is a time and place for swearing. The classroom, the workplace, church (obviously), and the dinner table are not the time or the place. It also depends on who you are with. Some people don't care how many f-bombs you drop and some people don't like the use of the phrase "holy crap". My friend and I call each other a dumb b**ch, but neither of us MEAN IT and both of us KNOW that. If you were in a verbal fight with someone, calling them a bad name would only make it worse. Also, when I'm in a bad mood, I hate my friend jokingly calling me a b**ch. One of my friends gets really offended if I say "god d*mit", so I NEVER say it around her, but if it slips out, I make sure to deliver a sincere apology. In some cases, swearing is OK. It can make a joke a lot funnier and it can defuse the anger of stubbing your toe. In conclusion, you just have to be careful with what you say and try not to offend people. reply Flag as inappropriate 5 Ways to Talk to Your Kids About Swearing -- and Why Sierra FilucciFebruary 28, 2011Categories: Cell phone parenting, Digital media and school, Healthy media habits, Social networking for kids Senior Editor, TV and DVD | Mom of two Recently, my 5-year-old and I walked into a room full of kids playing video games at a birthday party. "You suck!" shouted one kid to another. "I'm going to kick your ass!" the kid yelled back. My son looked up at me with wide eyes -- he was shocked, and I think, a bit thrilled to see bigger kids using words that he still considers taboo. For my part, I was glad he was shocked. It hasn't been easy keeping swearing out of my kids' lives. For one thing, my husband and I can let a few strong words fly when we're frustrated or forget we're in the company of kids. And some of the TV shows my kids watch on Saturday mornings tend to pepper the action with words like "stupid" and "jerk." As kids get older, they come across strong language in everything from YouTube videos to online comments. And lately, the amount of swearing on some of tweens' and teens' favorite TV shows seems to have bumped up a few notches. Preschool-age character Lily dropped the F-bomb (it was bleeped) on an episode of Modern Family, and The Daily Show is chock full of easily identified censored words. Parents can take advantage of these moments by explaining how shows (and other media) get attention for profanity -- a strategy that's part of selling a product. Kids' fascination with taboo words isn't new, of course. Around the age of 5 or 6, most kids get a big thrill out of potty language (hello, Captain Underpants!) or any word that gets a rise out of parents. This age is a great time to help kids understand that there are places where certain language is OK (like in silly books) but not in others (like at the dinner table). What kids intuitively understand is that words are powerful, and certain words make a big impact. My son certainly felt the impact of the language that the birthday party gamers were using. Explaining to him why the kids were using those words -- to shock, to feel older, to get attention -- took a bit more time. 5 Ways to Talk to Kids About Swearing -- and Why Think time and place. What might be no big deal at your house could be offensive at your best friend's place. Remind kids to keep their audience in mind when they're speaking. The language you use when texting your best buddy can be a bit looser than the words you use in a classroom or when speaking to Grandma on Skype. Expand your own vocab. You can almost always find a substitute for a curse word. Encourage kids to check out a thesaurus and find some creative alternatives to common curses or different ways to describe the feeling that's making them want to curse. (My son is saying "peanut butter" instead of "dummy." I tend to use "fig" a lot when I'm frustrated.) Words can hurt. Being called a name like "bitch" or "jerk" can sting. And just like it's not OK to hit someone or bully them, it's not OK to curse at someone to hurt them. Point out when TV characters call each other names, and ask kids how they could have handled the situation differently. Language reflects on you. Maybe some of your kids' friends think cursing makes you cool, but the reality is that someone who curses a lot tends to look immature and not at all classy. Remind kids to keep that in mind, especially when they're sending their language out into the world on social networks, online communities, etc. Limit exposure. Check out the "language" sections of our media reviews to help select TV shows, movies, games, etc. that keep the language within your comfort level. Find out how to turn off comments or access to chat rooms if kids are seeing inappropriate language on the web. (Learn more about handling swearing.) Related posts When Good Role Models Go Bad Standing Up to Cyberbullying How Video Games Helped My Kids Get Along Related tags movies, music lyrics, teachable moments, TV About Sierra Filucci Sierra has been writing and editing professionally for more than a decade, with a special interest in women's and family subjects. She has a master’s degree in journalism from the University of California at Berkeley... Read more Add comment

Although I hate it when children swear, I think 13 is around the age where it's OK in some situations. My teacher said to us, I don't care if you swear, just don't do it in the classroom. She was right. There is a time and place for swearing. The classroom, the workplace, church (obviously), and the dinner table are not the time or the place. It also depends on who you are with. Some people don't care how many f-bombs you drop and some people don't like the use of the phrase "holy crap". My friend and I call each other a dumb b**ch, but neither of us MEAN IT and both of us KNOW that. If you were in a verbal fight with someone, calling them a bad name would only make it worse. Also, when I'm in a bad mood, I hate my friend jokingly calling me a b**ch. One of my friends gets really offended if I say "god d*mit", so I NEVER say it around her, but if it slips out, I make sure to deliver a sincere apology. In some cases, swearing is OK. It can make a joke a lot funnier and it can defuse the anger of stubbing your toe. In conclusion, you just have to be careful with what you say and try not to offend people.

There is a song in South Park:Bigger, Longer, and Uncut-I know the song has swearing but it gives you a couple of ideas for substitute words. The song is called, "It's Easy, MMMKay'

If you think words like stupid and jerk are cuss words then maybe you ought to go back to kindergarten

It's time to realize that swearing is part of most tweens' and teens' vocabulary. Swearing starts in 4th grade. It increases a lot in middle school. By high school, swearing is a huge part of out vocabulary. Honestly, kids don't care if swearing isn't classy. Just realize parents, we are not angels.

I agree with this. My friends swear a lot when I am not around, but they know to keep it cool when I am around so they wont sound unintelligent. And I called up our cable people, and I found out a way to censor and lock bad shows my sisters or I cant or shouldn't be watching. My parents have set that up. I dont how to do that, but I know there are ways you can through DISH network.

It bothers me that I can't go to school without hearing the f-bomb at least 15 times. There are some times where swearing is acceptable, but the stronger words and swearing around younger children is rediculous. Swearing isn't cool, and it's true that people who do it a lot sound dumb. I don't usually swear. I may if one's in a quote I'm using, but I hate to say things stronger than a--. I'd like to say there's a reason we rate TV shows and movies. You shouldn't let a five-year-old be around a TV with a TV-14-L show playing or a movie rated PG-13 or R for language. You can't stop other people from swearing but you can avoid hearing it in the media.

Mouth+Curse Word=Dollar It is as simple as that in my family.

There is all this ire about "curse" words. They're bleeped on television, they make parents gasp. But in reality curse words mean nothing. Saying "F***" when you hit your thumb with a hammer is totally meaningless. Curse words were artificially created by mankind, and now mankind is artificially offended by them. The offense should never be at the word itself, but rather at the concept. If somebody calls me a "piece of S***", my reaction is identical to that of being called a "piece of crap". In both cases the offensive part is that I'm being compared to a steaming pile, not the use of the word "s***". Instead of teaching kids not to use certain, we should be teaching them not to be rude to other people. I can be incredibly offensive to somebody without using a single "bad" word. Conversely, I can use several such words without being offensive at all. Case in point: George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words. When he rattles off his list of curse words, nobody should be offended. They're just words. However, when somebody tells you that you are an ignoramus (a word that is by no means "dirty") you should be offended, and you should teach your kids to avoid offending people in such a way.

Oh deary common sense. I do believe that swearing isn't classy, but really, trying to avoid it and keeping it out of our kids lives? Do you /want/ it to come across as a complete shock when they do get into school and hear this stuff all the time? Yes, it's not okay for children to be seeing swear words. But there is a certain point in a kids lives when you have to let go and open your eyes to the world around you. It's everywhere! They are GOING to see it! I agree with the article, it was nicely put together and showed some good points. I couldn't help that it went a bit overboard with words like "jerk", and "stupid" though.

My dad was a medic during WWII and was in the Battle of the Bulge. His career was as an officer in the state prison system then as a social worker in the federal prison system. All that to say he has heard some language in his day. However, in my entire life I never heard him use profanity. What comes out of our mouth shows something of what is in our heart more than just a "slip of the tongue".

So, you make an article warning about how detrimental swearing is, yet you use "bitch" in an article. I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THIS LOGIC

Another issue is what to do when our children's friends come to our house or are in the car with us. I don't want my children to become judgmental of those who do "bad" things, and I also don't want them blurting out in public, "It is bad to say that word"! or to have a disdainful attitude toward those who live differently than we do. When my children's friends come over and use language that we don't use, I say in a friendly way, "We don't say that word in our family." I may have to repeat it another time, but this works well to set limits and yet be respectful of the children who probably do things differently at their house. On the rare occasion that they are not able to change their language, I talk with them privately and kindly about how we do things in our family, and that we would like them to be able to continue to come over, but we can't if they need to continue to use those words.

It's like saying every word is a curse

I never swear, and it does reflect on you. Most of the people who drop the f-bomb every other word are very unrefined and mean people. Everyone knows I don't swear, and they respect it. Language on media doesn't really effect me though it makes my parents uncomfortable. Either way, try to stay away from it as much as possible. If your one of the people who only swears when your not around your parents, but you swear constantly around your friends, rember you are using vulgar and disgusting language. Even if you used to cuss all the time, and you deside to stop, it will still be hard to get rid of your reputation.