How to Raise a Good Human in a Digital World

Real tips for teaching character to kids of all ages using media and tech. By Sierra Filucci
How to Raise a Good Human in a Digital World

As parents, we have many hopes for our kids. We want them to grow up to live happy, successful lives. We hope they'll find love, maybe have kids of their own, and pursue their dreams. But at the bottom of all these wishes is the hope that our kid turns into a decent human being -- someone who is kind, respectful, and honest.

How do you bolster these strengths as well as teach key skills such as teamwork, communication, and perseverance? For the most part, kids will learn these things by following your example and through experience gained at school and in their communities. But media is another entry point. Since movies, TV shows, books, video games, and social media are such a huge part of kids' lives, it makes sense that kids can learn important lessons about character through media.

Here are some specific things you can do or say to reinforce character:

Watch sports.
Not only can watching sports with kids be a really fun way to bond over a favorite team or player, it can be a perfect opportunity to point out character strengths from teamwork to perseverance. After cheering over a big touchdown or basket, point out how important the linebackers or passers were to the score: Even though they don't get all the attention, the team wouldn't be successful without the admirable work of supporting players.

Share social media.
From Facebook and Instagram to YouTube, social media is ripe with character lessons. If you notice a post, photo, or video of something especially touching or beautiful, share it with your kid and comment on how much courage it took for the poster to share their story or creative expression. Discuss the risks involved with putting yourself out there and how important it is to take (reasonable) risks to be true to yourself, even though you might face criticism.

Expand your horizons.
Watching documentaries or movies about people who live very different lives can trigger empathy, compassion, and humility. During a family movie night, choose something out of the ordinary -- a story about someone of a different race or religion, or about a community that's less fortunate than yours, or a subculture with different values or beliefs than yours -- and encourage discussion afterward.

Play video games together.
Gaming as a family offers the chance to practice teamwork, problem-solving, communication, and perseverance, while also having fun. Choose multiplayer games where gamers are required to work together to win. Model positive, respectful communication during the game (try "I need help over here" instead of "you idiot!"). If kids are trying over and over again to achieve a game goal, you can recognize their effort as well as their success.

Take a time-out.
Most households are abuzz as various mobile devices alert us to text messages or Instagram posts. But we can help teach our kids self-control by resisting the urge to respond immediately. Next time you hear a text message alert (and you know it's nothing urgent), say out loud, "I don't need to check that right now." This lesson can work on social media, too. If you're a Twitter or Facebook user and you see something that makes you mad, talk through with your kid why you don't want to respond right away ("I might say something I regret because I'm upset" or "I'd rather tell my friend that this bothers me privately instead of publicly on Twitter").

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About Sierra Filucci

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Sierra is a journalist with a special interest in media and families. She has a master's degree in journalism from the University of California at Berkeley, and she's been writing and editing professionally for more... Read more

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Comments (5)

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Parent written by prathak

My mother makes me read the CSM articles sometimes. And this is true, we kids learn by examples, if my mom does something, I want to do it too but when I see her not using the phone much, I'm also forced to not use my phone. I have friends and have noticed that if parents spend time with their children, the boy/girl will be better with relations and will be happier.
Kid, 11 years old

I don't think all children need to watch TV shows and movies that take place in real life and are based on something that occurred in real life. Not all children like sports, for example. Sports is a competitive type of programming that does promote "teamwork" but a lot of adults and children only watch it for the hype of finding which team won and which team didn't win. For documentaries, it really depends on the child. A 10 year old would definitely fall asleep on a 3 hour documentary on immigration, while an intelligent 12 year old would love discussing about it. Gaming as a family on multiplayer games might be quite embarrassing to the child itself, especially if they are independent people and don't want their parents playing with them during a multiplayer game such as Slither.io. Non-reality TV shows have more variety in learning. You can learn teamwork and empathy by just watching a meaningful TV show such as Doctor Who with your child. It will be more engaging and fun for children who want a character that isn't even a human solving problems in the universe. In my opinion, I would avoid social media entirely, sharing it with a child opens them up to very inappropriate boundaries that they can break. That is why you should go with the 13+ age limit on social media websites such as Facebook. Youtube is OK, you can find a range of videos on there. From nursery rhymes to porn, it's like watching television, and you can even create your own Youtube channel. But a social media network like Facebook is something I would avoid sharing.

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