Parents' Ultimate Guide: How to Set Parent Controls on Discord

Discord is a communication app that lets users—kids and adults alike—chat and share through text, voice, and video. Initially designed for gamers to talk while playing games, it has expanded into a popular platform for anyone to connect over shared interests like music, anime, art, studying, and more. Discord organizes conversations into communities called servers. There are also topic-specific spaces within servers called channels, as well as direct messages. The platform allows users to share files, go live, or screenshare. Discord can be particularly risky for kids because they can see inappropriate content in conversations, connect with strangers, get bullied, share personal information, or encounter scams. If location settings are enabled, users can see nearby conversation participants, so kids can inadvertently share their location with adults. The platform also offers Student Hubs, where students can sign up with a school email to access private servers. Note: These private servers are not run or moderated by schools. In the Student Hubs, kids can form study groups or create interest-based servers, similar to school clubs. For families, Discord provides a Family Center that lets parents link their account to their child's and view some settings, but not control them. The platform has basic safety settings that teens can set up themselves to help users control their experience, such as blocking other users and choosing what content they want to see. Check out our full review of Discord for more information.

As with many online platforms, especially those built around real-time chat, Discord comes with serious risks—especially for younger users. There's been plenty of backlash against the platform for not doing enough to protect minors from harmful content and interactions. While it can be a fun and supportive space when used responsibly, it also allows access to unmoderated servers, private messaging, and content that's not always appropriate for teens or tweens.
 

Content: 

• Discord hosts thousands of communities for virtually any interest imaginable. While many servers provide positive spaces for connection, teens may come across harmful or inappropriate content ranging from mild to severe, including sexual images, violent or graphic content, discussions of drugs and alcohol, hate speech, or manipulative ideologies.
• Even in spaces that start out friendly, the tone can shift quickly. Some communities may share manipulative or extreme messaging, like content that promotes hate, reinforces gender stereotypes, or frames relationships and power in unhealthy ways. 
   

Age-based experiences:

• Some servers and channels are marked "NSFW" (not safe for work) or "age-restricted," and users under 18 aren't supposed to be able to access them. But since most people are not required to verify their age when signing up, it's easy for kids to get around this by entering a false birthdate.
• Once you're in the platform, verification usually only happens if an under-18 account tries to access restricted content or change safety settings. Accounts listed as 18+ may never be checked at all.
• Keep in mind, not all inappropriate content is labeled, so younger users can still come across it even with under-18 accounts. Having under-18 accounts also does not protect against inappropriate conversation in chats in open servers.
   

Communication: 

• Discord can be a destination for conversation related to the games your kids already play, like Roblox. Within Roblox, people can suggest talking on Discord, where kids can be lured into private conversations.
• When using Discord, kids can interact with adults, whether knowingly or accidentally. Users can pretend to be anyone, and kids can unwittingly share personal information or their location with adults posing as kids. 
   

Parents should alert their kids to the possibility of:

• Conversations that turn personal too quickly—especially about appearance, emotions, or relationships.
• Friend requests or direct messages from strangers.
• Requests to keep chats secret from parents or trusted adults.
• Pressure to move to another platform (like Snapchat or Instagram) or join a private call.
• Offers of gifts, gaming currency, or other rewards.
• Personal questions about your teen's routine, school, or when they're home alone.
• Changes in behavior, like becoming more secretive about online activity.

Discord has added more safety tools in recent years, but it still doesn't offer the same level of control or protection as platforms designed for younger users. Importantly, many settings are optional, easy to change, and require your teen to use them responsibly. 

Here's what privacy and safety settings are available:

To access these settings, have your teen tap their profile picture, then select Privacy & Safety. These options help control who can contact them and how explicit content is filtered.

• Safe direct messaging: Filters explicit content in private messages.
  • Options include:
    • Keep Me Safe – Scans all direct messages (DMs).
    • My Friends Are Nice – Scans only messages from non-friends.
    • Do Not Scan – Disables filtering entirely.

Note: Teens can change these settings at any time. There's no way to lock or require a PIN for this section.

• Friend request settings: This lets teens limit who can send them friend requests: Everyone, Friends of Friends, or Server Members. Choosing Friends of Friends can reduce unwanted contact. Note that teens can simply switch this back to Everyone. If they're on a public server, they may still receive requests from strangers inside that space.
• Server privacy defaults: This lets you disable direct messages from people in newly joined servers. This setting applies only to servers that are joined in the future. Your teen can choose to allow DMs on a server-by-server basis.
• Sensitive content filters: Automatically blurs images and videos that may be graphic or explicit. This setting is easy to turn off, and filters can miss inappropriate text or toxic behavior in chats.

Teen Safety Assist Features

These are default features for under-18 accounts, though they can be turned off at any time or avoided with an account with a false birth date:

• Safety alerts appear when you receive a message from a new contact.
• An Ignore feature lets teens stop seeing messages from someone without alerting that person. Unlike blocking—which cuts off communication completely and notifies the other user if they try to message—the ignore option simply hides the conversation on the teen's end.
• Content is automatically filtered for potentially inappropriate images and videos.
• Message request controls allow you to limit DMs from strangers.
• Teens can also turn on "Keep Me Safe" in Privacy & Safety to filter explicit content, though this doesn't ban all inappropriate content.

Parental Controls

Discord's parental controls are called Family Center. Parents cannot change any of their kids' settings in Family Center; they can only monitor the settings their teen has selected. 

Settings that parents can see include: 

• Who your teen is messaging (but not the content in the messages).
• Which servers they have joined.
• New friends they have added.
• Voice call activity (but not the calls themselves).

How to set them up:

1. Download the Discord app on your phone.
2. Open the Discord app and go to User Settings > Family Center > Enable Family Center.
3. Have your teen generate a QR code on their device.
4. Use your phone to scan the QR code, which will link your account with theirs.

• Family Center provides limited insights from the past seven days, but does not allow you to change settings or block features. There's no access to the content teens are sending or receiving, no alert system, and no controls.
• To use Family Center, your teen has to opt in, and they can leave Family Center at any time without notice.
• It is possible to add safety through third-party parental controls outside of Discord, which can offer additional time limits, content alerts, and message monitoring.

What can I do to protect my kid on Discord, given how limited their parental controls are?

• Ensure your teen's birth date is accurate in their account so age-based filters work. But keep in mind that this won't prevent kids from creating a new account.
• Set up Family Center to see who your teen is messaging (without reading their conversations).
• Help them discover well-moderated servers focused on their real interests, like art, coding, books, or creative projects.
• For younger teens, set an expectation that if they want to join a new server, they need to have a check-in with a trusted adult.
• Make a family Discord server where you can also participate and see how the platform works.
• Consider using device-level parental controls for younger teens that set time limits, rather than spying on content.
• Create a judgment-free space where your teen feels safe talking about what they see, and be open to answering questions and not shaming.