Tim Burton's best movie in decades is full of gore, violence, innuendo and some seriously suggestive content
Tim Burton's latest film and team-up with Johnny Depp, Dark Shadows, is a heck of a lot better than it ought to be. Now, every year, or during every summer scene, rather, there is one movie out there that looks good, but you are never expecting much. So, this is the first big surprise of the year for me, and it is easily the first great movie of 2012 for me, as well. Nearly every movie that I have seen this year, thus far, has either been just good, okay or terrible. Even The Avengers, which is still collecting it's massive box office cume, wasn't really all that great. It was a good superhero movie, for sure, but even that film could have been so much better. But, here we have Dark Shadows, which is easily Tim Burton's most bizarre, creepy, weird, original, hilarious and fun movie since Beetlejuice. Now, Dark Shadows is based of the infamous cult classic British soap-opera television show of the 1960's and 1970's, and the film is set during 1972, and the whole retro look of the film really makes it feels like you just stepped into another time. Also, Tim Burton has his best set designs and special effects work here since Sleepy Hollow, with the Collins family mansion and town of Collinsport given it's own little Gothic look to it. But, with performances, they are all fantastic here. Honestly, there is not a single bad or even remotely unlikable character here, with the best of course being Johnny Depp as the 18th century vampire brought into the 20th century, vampire Barnabas Collins, Michelle Pfeiffer as the mother of the 20st century Collins Family, Jackie Earle Haley as Willie Loomis, the caretaker, and, of course, a rather vicious Eva Green as Barnabas Collins re-vamped (ha ha) ex-lover Angelique Bouchard. But, than again, everything here is works so well, that everyone is good. So, I really must say, job well done to Mr. Tim Burton, for delivering us his best movie in nearly two-and-a-half-decades. But, despite the fact that this movie is Rated PG-13, there is tons of very questionable content, and most parents will almost certainly have a problem with letting there younger children watch it, but here we go: The movie is filled with wall-to-wall crude and sexual humor, innuendo and even a very funny and very rough scene of our two main vampire leads having "supernatural sex" and pretty much wrecking the entire room that they are in, in the process, and we see the entire scene on screen for close to three minutes, but it's all fully clothed and very, very comical. Also, there are countless references to a 15 year old's secret sexual fantasies, including a masturbation joke and even a quick but graphic oral sex reference. Also, there is plenty of comic horror violence and gore, here, with lot's and lot's of blood pouring from peoples throats, eyes and even from paintings and walls inside the Collins family mansion. Also, there are some scenes which reveal the childhood traumas one one main female character, which involves her being sable to talk to ghosts at a extremely young age, and with her disturbed parents sending her off to a mental asylum, where she is struck in a rubber padded room and forced to wear a straight jacket, and even most disturbing, is a brief scene where she has electroshock treatment performed on her, completely on-screen, which will disturb many viewers in the audience. Also, there is some drug use, mostly of the pot-smoking kinds, plenty of smoking, drinking and drunkenness. And, finally, there is frequent but fairly average profanity, including several uses of sh-t, d-mn, h-ll, a--, a--h-le, b-tch and more. So, dark Shadows is easily the best movie of the year for me, so far, and it just might be the one movie that finally jump-starts the summer movie scene, as well!
What other families should know
Too much violence
Too much sex
Too much swearing
Too much consumerism
Too much drinking/drugs/smoking