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A Lot or a Little?
What you will—and won't—find in this book.
Readers learn about Iraqi culture and Ramadan. Also about going to the doctor to get birth control in advance of having sex.
Stay true to yourself no matter what people say. Sweet messages about loyalty, female friendship, acceptance.
Positive Role Models
Narrator Lulu is a young woman of color. Lulu and friends make quite a few questionable decisions, but she has a strong sense of self and has to overcome obstacles and face prejudice of her peers because of her ethnicity. Positive LGBTQ representation.
Violence & Scariness
One instance of choking. A character gets punched in the face. Main character is kissing someone consensually when things escalate without consent and she feels violated.
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Sex, Romance & Nudity
The main character has sex. There's mention of "going down" on someone and an orgasm. Lots of kissing at parties, and vivid descriptions of sexual encounters. Reference to a hickey. Lulu and her friends make comments about how many people they've kissed or had sex with, shaming one another for some of their decisions.
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Strong language throughout, including "f--k," "f---ing," "s--t," "slut," "douche," "giving him the finger," "damn," "ass," "boob," "a--hole," "d--k," "goddamn," "piss," "bitch," "hell," "crap," "c--k," "whore," "Jesus," "Oh my God."
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Products & Purchases
Mention of alcoholic drink Everclear. Mention of car brand Datsun.
Drinking, Drugs & Smoking
Heavy drinking throughout with little to no consequences. Mentions of several different alcohol drinks such as vodka, Everclear, beer. One character drinks so much that she vomits, with no consequences. Multiple references to a "vape pen" and several characters smoke weed. Mention of a character smoking a cigarette. Characters get into a club and then erase their "underage" stamp so they can drink.
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Parents Need to Know
Parents need to know that Not the Girls You're Looking For is an edgy book for older teens that deals with friendship, family, ethnic prejudice, and romance. It centers on Lulu, a biracial Arab American Muslim teen (her mom is a white American Catholic, her dad an Iraqi Muslim) during the month of Ramadan. Almost all the teen characters drink heavily at parties, and there's kissing and vivid descriptions of sexual encounters. Lulu has sex and prepares for it by going to the doctor to get birth control. There's a confusing portrayal of consent (the encounter begins as consensual but then turns) and blurred lines about what's OK and what is not. And there's strong language throughout, including "s--t" and "f--k." The book has a positive message about staying true to yourself no matter what people say and being loyal to people who love you for you. Teens may want to discuss the discrimination Lulu faces as a half-Iraqi girl and what love and relationships should look like.
Is It Any Good?
Through the flawed, vulnerable character of Lulu, this coming-of-age story offers an authentic perspective on what it's like to feel caught between two cultures and not fully a part of either one. Lulu's experience as a biracial Muslim can be relatable for teens who've ever felt isolated because of their ethnicity, and having her as the narrator gives readers an honest glimpse of the discrimination that Muslim Americans face. Teens may find themselves relating to parts of Lulu, but the plot is all over the place, with no clear direction at times, and some of the characters are underdeveloped.
Lulu is a confusing character, and there are a lot of things that may disappoint readers about her and her trash-talking girlfriends. While her group of friends is very close and they stand up for one another, they also put one another down quite a lot, for no apparent reason. James and Lulu's romance is very cute and playful, and teens will root for them to end up together.
Did we miss something on diversity?
Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by suggesting a diversity update.
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Our Editors Recommend
Teen Romance Novels
Books to Help Teens Understand the Importance of Consent
Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are created by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners.See how we rate