Parents' Guide to

Rules for Being a Girl

By Mary Cosola, Common Sense Media Reviewer

age 13+

Teen finds her voice after sexual assault in moving tale.

Book Candace Bushnell, Katie Cotugno Coming of Age 2020
Rules for Being a Girl Poster Image

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What's the Story?

In RULES FOR BEING A GIRL, Marin has it all going for her during her senior year: She's a top student, she's co-editor of the school newspaper with her best friend, and she has a popular boyfriend. She has a great relationship with Bex, her favorite teacher, mentor, and newspaper adviser. Her admission to Brown, her dream school, is looking to be in the cards, too. All these perfect pieces start to unravel when Bex gets her to his apartment and kisses her against her will. She's full of anger and self-doubt, and she starts to see the world in a different way. Suddenly her boyfriend's sexist jokes aren't funny, the school uniform policy that is much stricter for girls is glaringly unfair, and the list of "dead white guy" authors they have to read in AP English feels limited and narrow-minded. When she reports Bex, writes a feminist editorial about the minefield of being a girl, and starts a feminist book club, her friends think she's changed, but what if she's discovering who she really is?

Is It Any Good?

Our review:
Parents say Not yet rated
Kids say (4):

In this fast-paced, engaging story, a high-achieving teen girl starts to question herself and her world view when a teacher molests her. At the beginning of Rules for Being a Girl, we meet a Marin who laughs at sexist jokes and slut-shames other students. But when the school principal singles out a girl for humiliation in front of the school for dress code violations, Marin starts to understand the damage caused by the conflicting, judgmental messages girls receive from a young age. When she's bullied and doubted after reporting her teacher's assault, she feels it at a deeply personal level. Readers get a good glimpse at the ripple effect that assault has on the victims and why it is difficult for them to come forward. Marin's character growth is the best part of the story. Even though she has to deal with the emotional trauma of her teacher's assault, she stands up for herself and channels her emotions into self-education on feminism, writing editorials, and making new friends. Most of the other characters are one-dimensional, and the ending could be more satisfying, but Rules for Being a Girl is a good book for sparking conversations on important issues facing young women.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about reactions to reports of sexual assault. In Rules for Being a Girl, few people believe Marin when she tells the truth about her sexual assault because she clearly had a crush on the teacher. Why do you think people often don't believe women when they speak up about assault?

  • Do you ever feel it's pointless to take problems to school administrators or others in positions of authority? Why? What other avenues do you have available to deal with serious issues?

  • Have you ever started a new activity that allowed you to make friends you might not have met otherwise? Did this expand your worldview at all?

Book Details

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