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The Reformed Vampire Support Group



Humorous vampire story takes aim at the vampire craze.

What parents need to know

Educational value
Not applicable
Positive messages

The vampires attempt to avoid harming humans by breeding guinea pigs for blood, even though it makes them sick. On the negative side, a reference to buying black people in the old days because their "blood is meaty."

Positive role models

The vampires mostly sacrifice their own well-being to avoid infecting other humans, and several bad people have a change of heart.


Guinea pigs are bred to be bloodily killed by vampires. A vampire is shot but doesn't die, werewolves are forced to fight to the death for the entertainment of an audience, a vampire is killed by a stake through the heart, two men attempt to murder several others, a vampire bites a human.


One kiss, a reference to a streetwalker, another to a penis-shaped birthday cake.


Plenty of swearing, including "s--t," "bitch," "bastard," "dick,", "prick," and some religiously themed swearing.


MP3 player, car, sunglasses brands.

Drinking, drugs, & smoking

Smoking and drinking beer and gin. A reference to junkies and alcoholics. A drunk driver is killed, teens drink and get drunk.

Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that there's some violence here, though not as much as you might expect in a vampire story, but there's also more swearing than you might expect.

What's the story?

Nina, a vampire who is stuck at age 15, belongs to a group of vampires who support each other in avoiding sucking the blood of humans, breeding guinea pigs as a poor substitute. But when one of their number is killed by a vampire slayer and they try to track him down, they accidentally cross paths with a murderous father/son team who kidnap werewolves and force them to fight to the death.

Is it any good?


If you haven't had enough of vampires yet, this book should do the trick; it doesn't just demystify them -- it makes them pathetic and revolting. These vampires have no super powers, and they certainly aren't sexy. Perpetually weak, miserable, and pale, they spend most of their time vomiting and hiding from the world, and, when they get together, bickering. And then vomiting some more. They do get to live forever, but never has eternal life seemed so unappealing -- it's like living forever with a neverending, really rotten flu. In this view, vampirism is a disease from which one never recovers -- ever.

While this is occasionally amusing, and allows the author to riff on everything from self-help groups to fanboys, it does not make for relatable characters. After awhile the story does get going, and there are some exciting moments amid all the puking. Some kids, especially those who don't like the vampire craze, will find this hilarious. But if you're a vampire lover, or just someone who doesn't enjoy reading about characters who are perpetually sick and whiny, pass this one by.

From the Book:
It's funny; I hate so much about my life. I hate the cramps, and the nausea, and the boredom, and the listlessness. I hate surviving on guinea pigs, and not being able to get a decent haircut. But that night, when it came to choosing between life and death, I didn't hesitate. Not for one second.

I didn't want to end up as a pile of ashes on a bedroom floor.

Families can talk about...

  • Families can talk about the current popularity of vampire stories, and the differing views of them. Why do you think they are so popular right now? Do they reflect something in our culture?

  • What do you think of this portrayal of them? Is it funny, or does it take the fun away?

  • Do some vampire stories make you wish you knew, or even were, a vampire? What about this one?

Book details

Author:Catherine Jinks
Book type:Fiction
Publisher:Harcourt Brace
Publication date:April 1, 2009
Number of pages:362
Publisher's recommended age(s):12 - 17

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Kid, 11 years old November 8, 2011

this book sucked

this sucks the middle was great but at the end it just sucked
What other families should know
Too much violence
Too much swearing
Adult Written byTomato-Face April 18, 2011

More Whiny Vampires

While they are not perfect, they are so whiny. And why they are trying to break the stereotype, I find it a little hypocritical how the main character is the authoress of a book on the cliched version of Vampires. But this also includes animal fighting, since werewolves are technically animals.
Teen, 15 years old Written byPotter view August 29, 2011


We always thought that vampires are just sucking blood creatures but not. They have tried to protect both themselves and others. We humans should also do the same by treating others with respect too. When others are treated with respect they will too in turn respect you.
What other families should know
Educational value