Common Sense Media Review
By Mandie Caroll
,
based on child development research. How do we rate?
Compelling but uneven tale of teen exploring his sexuality.
Parents Need to Know
Why Age 15+?
Any Positive Content?
Where to Read
Parent and Kid Reviews
What's the Story?
WE ARE TOTALLY NORMAL focuses on popular and well-liked Nandan. Dave is Nandan's "project," as in, he wants to make Dave popular, too. This effort at first revolves around helping Dave hook up with a girl. But then Nandan and Dave hook up unexpectedly, and Nandan can't figure out if he's into Dave because he's actually bi or gay, or because being queer might elevate his social status. He doesn't want to talk to his shallow "friends" Potham or Ken about his confusion, and so draws closer to new friends Mari and Hen. But, Nandan keeps them at arm's length, too, in order to preserve his place with in-crowd friends, despite longing for authentic connection. Nandan does get a social boost from coming out (the popular girl invites him into her inner social circle), but lingering doubts about his sexuality cause him to break up with Dave. An awkward homecoming dance and after-party bring Nandan and Dave together again, but as he finally makes one decision he doesn't regret, will he be any closer to knowing who he really is?
Is It Any Good?
This unique, gritty, and very messy story chronicles what it can mean to question your sexuality. Not a typical queer love story full of romance, We Are Totally Normal, shows that not all queer folks know they are queer from an early age, and that it can be confusing and fraught trying to figure it all out. Given that Nandan and many of his friends are racially/ethnically diverse, readers also see how culture complicates Nandan's search for self-knowledge. And it stands out for representing voices and experiences of queer people of color.
Nandan is a sometimes-sympathetic character, but as he ruthlessly navigates the social hierarchies of high school, manipulating and pushing friends and his love interest away, it may be hard for some readers to appreciate his struggles. Most of his friends are horrible, especially Potham and Ken, who call women "bitches," pontificate on how to get girls to have sex, and gaslight Nandan when he tries to be "real." There's some witty, wry dialogue, but the plot can be slow-moving and involves a series of parties where teens abuse alcohol and scheme to hook up. Though an uneven reading experience, this book has definite appeal for queer and questioning teens and their allies.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about the Nandan's idea about the "T99" in We Are Totally Normal. Why is popularity so important to Nandan and other characters? What are the benefits and drawbacks to popularity shown in the book? What are your ideas about popularity?
Nandan's guy friends used sexist language ("bitches") and enforce toxic masculinity (avoiding emotions, sexually pursuing "girls"). How was it to read these passages? Why do you think the author included language some readers would find offensive?
What does the term "internalized homophobia" mean to you? What affect, if any, does internalized homophobia have on Nandan in his relationship with Dave? Does he use Dave, or are his feelings for Dave real? How do you know?
Book Details
- Author :
- Genre : Coming of Age
- Topics : Adventures , Friendship , School ( High School )
- Book type : Fiction
- Publisher : HarperTeen
- Publication date : March 31, 2020
- Publisher's recommended age(s) : 14 - 18
- Number of pages : 288
- Available on : Nook, Audiobook (unabridged), Hardback, Apple Books, Kindle
- Last updated : September 29, 2025
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