Common Sense Media Review
Bat Mitzvah story about friendship, crushes, self-esteem.
Parents Need to Know
Why Age 10+?
Any Positive Content?
Where to Read
What's the Story?
In YOU ARE SO NOT INVITED TO MY BAT MITZVAH, Stacey Freedman is an average 13-year-old girl with one big event just around the corner. Her criteria for the perfect day is simple: she wants a gorgeous new dress to wear and the everlasting love of her crush, Andy Goldfarb. But no big day can go over without a hitch, and when things begin to go awry between her and her best friend, Stacey must learn what really matters as she enters Jewish adulthood.
Is It Any Good?
This is a page-turner of a bat mitzvah story, closely following Stacey through the month before the event. It tracks all of her shifting emotions, fears, and desires, many of which fellow b'nei mitzvah will find relatable. Stacey is predictably flawed, however, and fails to come to a full understanding about the importance of the ritual itself by the end of the book. Regardless, she's a welcome window into the way different stressors (friends, crushes, public singing, and appearance -- to name a few) can build up during an intense phase of life.
Throughout the narrative, Stacey frequently talks to God (reminiscent of Judy Blume's classic take on puberty) and asks for support and guidance -- but mostly just to get her out of situations where she's lied. Readers may be entertained by the drama of it all, but some will find Stacey and her friends to be self-centered to the point of unlikability. For readers who get past that, there's plenty of humor and relatable pre-teen scenarios that'll entertain.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about what Stacy should really be focusing on as she prepares for her bat mitzvah in You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah! Why are tween and teens often so focused on themselves than other people? Is this normal? Why or why not?
How does Stacy become more empathetic over the course of the book? Why is this an important trait in relationships and freindships?
How does poor and improved communication play a role in Stacey's friendship with Lydia? Why is it important to be honest with our friends?
Book Details
- Author :
- Genre : Coming of Age
- Topics : Friendship , School ( Middle School )
- Character Strengths : Communication , Empathy , Humility
- Book type : Fiction
- Publisher : Hyperion
- Publication date : September 5, 2005
- Publisher's recommended age(s) : 12 - 18
- Number of pages : 190
- Available on : Paperback, Audiobook (unabridged), Hardback, Apple Books, Kindle
- Last updated : September 18, 2025
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