You Know Me Well

Book review by
Sandie Angulo Chen, Common Sense Media
You Know Me Well Book Poster Image
Sweet story of gay teens who become fast friends.

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Kids say

age 13+
Based on 3 reviews

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The parents' guide to what's in this book.

Educational Value

Readers will learn about Pride Month (June) and how important a role it can play in the lives of LGBTQ individuals and the community. The story also shows how much support LGBTQ teens need, especially if/when they decide to come out.

Positive Messages

The story's overwhelming message is that "it gets better" and that sometimes you have to take a risk to be true to yourself. The book shows how friendships change and how making a new friend can change your life. The book encourages honesty between friends, between children and their parents, and between romantic partners.

Positive Role Models & Representations

Kate and Mark are wonderful friends to each other, making sure the other feels safe and supported the entire week they hang out together. Mark is also incredibly selfless with Ryan, by staying by his side even though Ryan rejects Mark romantically. Violet encourages Kate and Mark to step outside their comfort zones. Kate and Mark have understanding parents, even if they're barely in the story.


Recollections of how a young man was physically abused by his father for being gay.


Mark recalls how his friendship with Ryan turned physical, with references to how they escalated their intimacy from fooling around to sex without ever labeling themselves boyfriends. Kate describes some passionate kisses with Violet. An adult man hits on Mark. Ryan hooks up with someone who then writes a poem about their relationship.


Occasional strong language, including "f--k," "s--t," "bitch," and "a--hole."


Jeep, iPhone for scene setting.

Drinking, Drugs & Smoking

High schoolers get into and drink at a bar/nightclub with fake IDs. They also drink at a party.

What parents need to know

Parents need to know that You Know Me Well is a dual-point-of-view realistic novel written by acclaimed LGBTQ authors Nina LaCour and David Levithan about a gay junior and a lesbian senior who become fast friends the last week of school. Although the emphasis is on the protagonists' platonic friendship, they each have romantic relationships causing them trouble. There's a smattering of strong language (including "f--k" and "s--t") and several references to passionate kisses, friends who fool around and have had sex but remain "just friends," hooking up with new people, and loss of virginity, but none of it is graphic or crude. The books contains positive messages about LGBTQ youth and how support and friendship are necessary for teens to feel safe coming out. There are also messages about gap years, college, travel, and open communication between friends and between older kids and their parents.

User Reviews

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Teen, 15 years old Written bykatey kat April 21, 2020

pretty good!

I'm always looking for more gay books and this absolutely satisfied me in that department. Read it for the final scene alone: everyone partying it up at th... Continue reading
Teen, 16 years old Written byCate x March 9, 2019

What's the story?

Told in two points of view, YOU KNOW ME WELL is the story of Bay Area teens Mark and Kate, who've sat next to each other in calculus for an entire year but don't know each other until one fateful night when they both happen to be partying in San Francisco the week leading up to the annual Pride parade. Mark and Kate are both gay and in romantic dilemmas. He's out but in love with his best friend/secret friend-with-benefits Ryan, who seems to crave a hookup with someone else even though Mark is quite obviously in love with him. Meanwhile, Kate ditches a long-awaited meet-up with the object of her affection, Violet, the worldly and beautiful bisexual cousin of Kate's best friend. Kate spots Mark at a gay bar where he's competing in an underwear modeling dance-off, and the two connect nearly instantaneously. After an evening of adventure and heartbreak, Kate and Mark help each other navigate the last week of school, romantic possibilities and realizations, and even major decisions about the future.

Is it any good?

LaCour and Levithan's compelling if occasionally implausible story focuses on the beautiful relationship between two gay teens who are in the right place on a night they each need a friend. Both authors are gay, and it's the first time Levithan has partnered with a writer for a book where both protagonists are gay. Kate and Mark's instant connection might seem unlikely to some readers, but it makes perfect sense given their individual journeys that they would discover a kindred spirit in the other. Both are desperate for love but unsure if they've found a true version of it: Mark can't see beyond his complicated secretly physical relationship with BFF Ryan, and Kate worries the "real" Violet won't live up to her idealized vision of her.

Since visual artist Kate and baseball player Mark's adventures are set against the backdrop of San Francisco Pride, the book is particularly appropriate for readers looking for strong LGBTQ themes and characters. But the story is universal, too -- the main characters might already know they're gay, but there's still plenty up in the air. They're still dealing with romantic insecurities, confusion over their futures, and issues with their other friends (most of whom are also gay, since particularly in Kate's case, coming out in eighth grade meant becoming a beacon to the other queer kids). Two secondary characters seem a bit too perfect (Violet is nearly unbelievably sophisticated, and Ryan's new suitor is ridiculously perfect, with his trifecta of looks, smarts, and humanitarianism), but otherwise this is a touching and relevant tale about friendship and love.

Talk to your kids about ...

  • Families can talk about dual point-of-view books written by two authors. Why are they so popular? Is it obvious they're written by more than one author? What's appealing about co-authored stories?

  • The majority of main characters in this book are LGBTQ, but the themes are universal. Why is it important to read about characters unlike yourself? Why is it powerful to read about characters who are like yourself when you're in a minority community?

  • Is Mark and Kate's fast friendship believable? What are some other books in which the characters fall into friendship or even love rather quickly? Is it more authentic for people to connect platonically or romantically over the course of a short time?

Book details

Our editors recommend

For kids who love coming-of-age and LGBTQ stories

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