Terrible "sequel" isn't a sequel -- violence, language.
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A Lot or a Little?
The parents' guide to what's in this movie.
What Parents Need to Know
Parents need to know that Amityville Uprising is an incredibly stupid 2022 horror movie in which acid rain from an explosion on a military base turns people into zombies. Aside from the title, it has absolutely nothing (aside from it being set in Amityville, New York) to do with the original The Amityville Horror movie from 1979. Expect zombie horror violence, bad acting, and cheap CGI effects. Dead bodies are found on a military base -- some blood and gore. Cops fight zombies with rifles and guns -- shooting one in the head. Zombies bite faces, rip the skin off faces, eat the arm flesh of the living. Strong language throughout, including "f--k."
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Bad B movie af
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What's the Story?
In AMITYVILLE UPRISING, a chemical explosion occurs in a military base near Amityville, New York, resulting in bad CGI effects (correction: clouds of toxic air and acid rain) to fall over Amityville. As these dark clouds move in over the town, the officers of one Amityville Police Department precinct are fighting storms of their own. Sargent Thomas Dash is trying to reconnect with his teenage son who has been left to hang out in the waiting room by his estranged ex-wife. A rude woman insults the officers while waiting to pay her parking ticket. A serial killer named Joe Gallo (no relation to the 1970s mobster who is the subject of the song "Joey" by Bob Dylan) has been arrested and sits in their jail cell. Soon, the rains arrive, and those who step outside the building turn into zombies, and soon enough, the dead bodies in the morgue also turn into zombies, and those who have been attacked and bitten by the zombies turn into zombies. It's up to Dash and the other surviving police officers to fend off the growing zombie horde and find a way to somehow escape the building without getting hit by the acid rain.
Is It Any Good?
If terrible and stupid movies were war crimes, this movie would be put on trial at The Hague and found guilty by unanimous verdict. Amityville Uprising doesn't even evoke the laughter of a "so bad, it's good" so much as it evokes a cry for help and a fervent prayer to the heavens that those responsible for these movies will stop making bad movies with the word "Amityville" in the title. The "uprising" in the title refers to a zombie outbreak in a police precinct, but there's so much that's clunky and idiotic before that even happens, by the time the zombie attacks begin, it's impossible to determine why it took so long.
As bad CGI clouds form over poor beleaguered Amityville, the cops talk about, among other things, food, their relationship statuses, their crushes on newscasters, the poor hygiene habits of the coroner down in the morgue. There are no calls to the station about this emergency, even as newscasters and weather people implore their viewers to stay inside. Actors are constantly being asked to express emotion to traumatic events that are so clearly out of their limited range it grows tiresome instead of ironically funny. It's the latest in a long-enough string of lousy movies with "Amityville" in the title; one would think Amityville public officials would take a stand to stop their village from getting continually besmirched by these terrible non-sequels. Maybe "The East Rockaway Horror" doesn't have the same ring to it, but here's hoping that this is the movie in which Amityvillians kindly ask that bad horror movies find a new Long Island hamlet already.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about bad movies like Amityville Uprising. Who is the intended audience of the film? Is it sometimes fun to watch "bad" movies? Why or why not?
While allegedly a sequel, this movie has nothing to do with the original 1979 movie The Amityville Horror. Why do you think people make movies that pretend to be sequels but aren't actually sequels? Why wouldn't they just release a movie with an original title?
What's the appeal of horror movies? Why are there so many of them made, and why do they remain popular?
- On DVD or streaming: January 11, 2022
- Cast: Scott C. Roe, Mike Ferguson, Tank Jones
- Director: Thomas J. Churchill
- Studio: Lionsgate Home Entertainment
- Genre: Horror
- Topics: Monsters, Ghosts, and Vampires
- Run time: 85 minutes
- MPAA rating: R
- MPAA explanation: Violence, gore and some language.
- Last updated: December 7, 2022
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