Blades of Glory

 
(i)

 

Spandex, stereotypes, and Will Ferrell on ice.
  • Review Date: August 27, 2007
  • Rated: PG-13
  • Genre: Comedy
  • Release Year: 2007
  • Running Time: 93 minutes

What parents need to know

Positive messages

Sex jokes are homoerotic and homophobic; skaters are fierce, devious, and violent rivals ... then Chazz and Jimmy learn to be nice.

Violence

Awards ceremony fight leaves faces bloodied; another comic fight involves punching, kicking, and body-tossing; Jimmy's slide across the ice on his chest produces a visible burn; Jimmy is handcuffed to a toilet; a rival shoots at Chazz with a harppon, accidentally hitting the mascot in the head and frightening children.

Sex

Chazz's early "sex on ice" performances include choreographed crotch grabs and pelvic thrusts; he also licks a fan's face and intimidates Jimmy with sexual bravado (mouthing "I want you," etc.); references to "classic Euro-porn" and Chazz's Adult Film award; a woman wears a sexy corset to seduce a man; lots of crotch grabs and reaction shots to indicate discomfort or arousal; discussion of lyrics in the song "My Humps; Jimmy's stalker fan makes repeated bizarre sexual/romantic comments; discussion of Chazz's conquests includes him saying that he "tapped" Michelle Kwan.

Language

Repeated uses of "damn," "ass," "s--t," "bitch," and "hell" (Chazz says their new routine will go "straight up the ass" of figure skating), as well as other language ("turd," "balls," "wiener") and name-calling.

Consumerism

Products listed on the sides of the rink and otherwise visible include Verizon, 7/11, X-Box, Nationwide Insurance, Cup O' Noodles, Mane 'n' Tail shampoo, Foot Locker, Subway, and Fruit Loops.

Drinking, drugs, & smoking

Chazz is drunk during his performance in an ice show for kids (drinking, vomiting, slurring his words); mention of Quaaludes.

Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that this Will Ferrell comedy has lots of verbal and sight jokes about sex, homosexuality, drinking, and drugs. There are goofy-but-sometimes-violent physical gags (like a decapitation that features obvious use of a mannequin and fake blood) and ads for sponsored products. Characters fight, get cut by skate blades, shoot harpoons (one hits a mascot in the head and scares screaming children), and do some painful-looking stunts on the ice (splits, falls, ice burns). Figure skating's foppish reputation is skewered repeatedly, with over-the-top spandex costumes, poofy hair, make-up, and histrionic ice dancing. It's especially evident when the two main characters team up to form a spandex-clad male-male pair who hold hands, perform lifts, and accidentally grab and kick each other's crotches. Language includes repeated uses of "sucks," "damn," "s--t," and "ass."

What's the story?

Cocky ice-skating superstar Chazz Michael Michaels Will Ferrell shocks the sports world when he teams up with pretty boy and acclaimed men's singles champion Jimmy (Napoleon Dynamite's Jon Heder) in BLADES OF GLORY, a veritable "Odd Couple On Ice." After Chazz butts heads with Jimmy, the two bitter rivals are banned from future competition. That is, until Jimmy's most dedicated stalker-fan (Nick Swardson) comes up with the bright idea that they re-enter the circuit as a pair. The idea is so preposterous and yet so obvious -- after all, figure skating has such a "gay" reputation -- that it makes everyone nervous, including fellow skaters who worry about their own hetero-masculine reps. And yet, the guys' coach (Craig T. Nelson) soon has them doing lifts and leaps that no mixed-sex pair can manage (including goofily immature homophobic/homoerotic gags like repeated crotch grabs and a doubled faces-in-crotches pose). Chazz and Jimmy's success ignites the ire of siblings/reigning champs Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg, who scheme to ruin their rivals.

 

Is it any good?

QUALITY
 

As pleased with itself as any other Will Ferrell comedy, BLADES OF GLORY targets buddy and sports movie conventions, and -- oh yes -- ponders the implied "gayness" of figure skating. Ferrell is loudly ridiculous and oversized, both figuratively and literally -- he gained weight for the part, with his eyes receding into his fleshy face and his belly stretching his spandex costumes. It's all meant to illustrate Chazz's prodigious ego and appetites. More a series of gags than a properly plotted story, Blades of Glory does offer a couple of very funny bits, including one in which a speedy chase on skates down a frozen river leads Chazz and Stranz to the shore. Their rage and fierceness are suddenly stymied, as they must walk -- legs bending and figures contorting as they wobble on their blades -- across a street, across a linoleum floor, and up an escalator.

But as clever as such physical business can be, the film's overwhelming focus is the sexuality anxiety signified by figure skating. While the movie does give Jimmy the requisite heterosexualizing girlfriend (The Office's Jenna Fischer), all that really matters is the pair. Will they make it? You get one guess.

Families can talk about...

  • Families can talk about Will Ferrell's appeal. What makes something a "Will Ferrell comedy"? What do many of Ferrell's characters have in common? How are they different? What other kinds of characters has he played? Which do you like best? What age group do you think movies like this one are aimed at?

Movie details

Theatrical release date:March 29, 2007
DVD release date:August 28, 2007
Cast:Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Will Ferrell
Director:Will Speck
Studio:DreamWorks
Genre:Comedy
Run time:93 minutes
MPAA rating:PG-13
MPAA explanation:crude and sexual humor, language, a comic violent image and some drug references.

This review of Blades of Glory was written by

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  • Very Good: Engaging; good learning approach.
  • Good: Pretty engaging; good learning approach.
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  • Not for Kids: Not age-appropriate for kids; not recommended for learning.

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Teen, 15 years old Written bybananalover March 19, 2011
 

i love this movie

ha ha i love this movie but there is so sexuality and cursing and some drinking but your laughing every second that you don't really notice at all
What other families should know
Too much sex
Too much drinking/drugs/smoking
Adult Written bynjn August 13, 2009
 
What other families should know
Too much sex
Too much swearing
Too much drinking/drugs/smoking
Kid, 10 years old June 18, 2010
 

PERFECT FOR TWEENS TO ADULTS

I PRACTICALLY DIED FROM LAUGHING!!!!!!! IT IS SO FUNNY
What other families should know
Too much violence
Too much sex
Too much swearing
Too much drinking/drugs/smoking
Great messages
Great role models

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