Blasted

Movie review by Barbara Shulgasser-Parker, Common Sense Media
Blasted

Common Sense says

age 15+

Aliens invade a bachelor party; lots of language, violence.

NR 2022 114 minutes
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A Lot or a Little?

The parents' guide to what's in this movie.

What Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that Blasted is a Norwegian sci-fi comedy about a group of hapless friends enjoying a bachelor weekend that turns scary when they're attacked by aliens/zombies. Paintball and laser tag play a role. People with glowing green eyeballs bite humans. Corpses pile up. Rats roam in a basement. Aliens refer to humans as "skin suits," useful only for housing the aliens. A giant dinosaur/lizard/slime-dripping alien is scary. All of it's played for comedy in a style that's largely simplistic and unsophisticated, seemingly aimed at teens. Men at a bachelor party talk about "shots" and getting "wasted." There's frequent language: "f--k," "s--t," "c--k," "pr--k," "d--k," "ass," "balls," "suck," "hell," "damn," "bitch," "fist-right-up-your-a--hole," "ball-tickling," "wuss," "piss," "fart," "sucking d--k," "fist f--k," "c--k balloons," "ball-tickling," "boner," and "badass." Some people give others the finger. In Norwegian with English subtitles.

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What's the Story?

In BLASTED, a hapless striver named Seb (Axel Boyum) presents a business pitch so boring that Kasper (Andre Sorum), the investor he's targeted, can't even sit through the presentation. Desperate to impress Kasper, mild-mannered Seb invites him to his bachelor party, a gathering of himself and two other boring pals, and, shocker, Kasper accepts. The destination is a cabin smack in the middle of the rural Norwegian area where odd green lights and strange activities are being noticed by locals. Sure enough, the lights are taking over humans and endowing them with superpowers, glowing green eyes, bad tempers, and possibly immortality. They are violent but otherwise don't seem to have any particular mission. The only thing Seb and friend Mikkel (Fredrik Skogsrud) have in their favor is the fact that as boys they were laser tag European champions. Armed with their dim wits, laser guns, and paintball rifles, they fight aliens.

Is It Any Good?

Blasted is a little like Men in Black mixed with The Hangover, only not as clever, funny, or interesting. The filmmakers provide lots of action, green slime, and corpses, but all the 30-year-old men act like 12-year-olds. This feels like a tween's fantasy that doesn't make sense and is far too long. It takes more than an hour for any human to display a shred of intelligence or decency. When they inevitably best the aliens, we aren't told how. Nothing makes enough logical sense to allow us to enjoy the dramatic tension that comes from hoping a plan will work. A man runs around in a bear suit for no good reason except to look silly, which isn't what makes great comedy.

The message is that teamwork and planning can help you achieve anything, but the methodology of their victory is never explained -- it just happens. Most annoying is that in the universe the movie creates, there are no rules to guide viewers. Shooting aliens with laser guns can unslime them, but not always. Providing lots of electrical power can kill aliens, but not always. And did the aliens come here to take over humanity or just to look around and go back to their planet? The main takeaway is that grown men act like fools.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about why a successful investor too bored to sit through a wannabe entrepreneur's business pitch would then agree to spend the weekend with the boring guy and his friends. Does this make sense? Does it matter if it doesn't?

  • What do you think is appealing about comedies that are based on characters' stupidity?

  • How does this comedy about aliens compare to Men in Black?

Movie Details

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