Parents' Guide to Borderlands

They say it's next to impossible to make a good movie out of a video game, and Eli Roth's sci-fi/action movie does nothing to dispute that claim; it's generic, juvenile, and obnoxiously bad. Based on the 2009 video game, Borderlands starts with stale narration (and exposition) that must have made Oscar winner Blanchett roll her eyes. Then, the scene in which the villain hires Lilith is perplexing, since it's a minion using a mask that allows him to look like Edgar Ramírez; sometimes the mask seems to be in charge of its wearer, and sometimes not. Nobody seems to have thought about the rules. (Ramírez is a terrific actor wasted in a generic villain role.)

Then, to make matters worse, Lilith meets Claptrap, who's reminiscent of the infamous Jar Jar Binks in terms of sheer annoyingness. Jack Black does the robot's voice in a high-pitched squawk, throwing out bad one-liners like a desperate, attention-starved puppy; it's easily the worst thing Black has ever done. (Another fast-talking, high-pitched comic, Kevin Hart, is also on hand as a human and isn't funny at all.) The poor cast has to go through the motions collecting parts of the key—stopping for many formulaic fights and explosions—that will take viewers, with much relief, to the final showdown. On the plus side, Borderlands at least tries to preserve the look of the game and has a fun post-apocalyptic feel, and Blanchett is too much of a pro to let the sorry material drag her down. She comes out unscathed. But otherwise, this is a junkyard slog.