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Parents' Guide to

Calvario

By Barbara Shulgasser-Parker, Common Sense Media Reviewer

age 14+

Comedy about insecure man losing hair; language.

Movie NR 2018 12 minutes
Calvario

A Lot or a Little?

What you will—and won't—find in this movie.

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What's the Story?

CALVARIO is a short and comic rumination on a fate that befalls some men early in life: baldness. Pablo (Juan Luppi) is shocked to learn that his live-in girlfriend, Carlota, is breaking up with him. She vaguely tosses out infuriating non-explanations. They've grown apart, they've changed, she wants to live a different way. Almost as an aside, she offers concrete examples of how they're both different: She's gained weight and, she suggests off-handedly, he's losing his hair. That's it for sad sack Pablo. He fixates on that last throwaway and becomes obsessed and depressed. On the street he suddenly sees hair and lack thereof everywhere. Strange guys toss their luxuriant tresses. Shaved heads stalk him. He consults a bald pharmacist, who suggests an expensive hair transplant or a hat. Pablo slinks into a disco, and a self-assured wealthy bald man sees the problem and takes Pablo under his wing for a confidence boost. His spacious home is decorated with portraits of Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Stanley Tucci, Mr. Clean, and other cool bald guys. Pablo shaves his head, dons a good suit, and tries again with Carlota, expressing his love for her. Is it too late?

Is It Any Good?

Our review:
Parents say: Not yet rated
Kids say: Not yet rated

Calvario is drenched in cheeky snideness. Calvary was the site of the crucifixion, so read into the title what you like. It could be a commentary on rampant self-absorption, and there's plenty of that here. Beyond that, this feels like a quick-paced, well-made music video or infomercial, even a long TikTok post. It's tight and clever but superficial. Mostly this feels like a calling card, a resume sent out by a young director in search of funding for a feature-length project.

According to the movie's Kickstarter page, 78 backers pledged around $8,000 to fund the venture. The director offered donors everything from Minoxidil spray to an anti-hair loss prescription. For the grand sum of around $3,000, donors were offered an executive producer credit and a "luxury clinic" hair transplant. Regardless, it's unlikely to interest most teens.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

  • Families can talk about the movie's tone. Is it serious or is it making fun of how difficult it is to read other people's minds?

  • The writer-director sets the scene, warning that the action is "based on a true story." Do you think the film comes from a real-life incident? Why, or why not?

  • What does this movie say about why couples break up?

Movie Details

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Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by suggesting a diversity update.

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